Anyone else missing family abroad?

euronorris

BugglyB wrote: »

I am in the opposite position, of being the only person in our little unit to be left in the country, thus being the 'representative' at funerals, weddings, parties, and so on! I also take on care of grandparents and so on.

Recently my mum came back for a week and we didn't tell anyone, we just had a week together, we didn't even tell her sisters, since she has so many of them, they all get cross if she doesn't fly up and down the country visiting everyone.

My Mum is in your position too, as her only sibling (brother) moved to Abu Dhabi about a decade ago. And he's awful at keeping in touch. Barely contacted my Grandma, let alone visit her, which upset my Grandma soo much, but she took it out on my Mum

euronorris

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I manage to keep a straight face, but I note it in my head each time I hear it.

You're better than me then!

That other post wasn't supposed to say Ok! I typed it correctly, but I don't think the forum recognised the character I entered! lol

make_me_wise

BugglyB wrote: »

My mum and dad live half way across the world and so does my sister (in a different place) and so does my cousin who I'm really close to (in another different place!)

This morning I'm really missing them for some reason. See my sis and mum and dad once or twice a year, this will be the first christmas we wont all be together.

We do skype and email and talk on the phone a lot, but sometimes I just long to pop over for a cuppa! anyone else feel like this? It doesnt help that none of my friends are in this position - they are all envious because of my holidays - but sometimes I would like to use my annual leave for other things than visiting family!

It must be difficult to be so far apart from people you are close to. My family are all reasonably near by which is nice most of the time but can bring its own special mix of pros and cons.

I know how you feel in a way because my best friend lives in Australia. We also phone and email, facebook etc but it is not the same as being able to pop round, see her and chat face to face. It has been nearly a year since I saw her last. A big year as I am expecting twins and it would have been great to have her nearby and go shopping and chat. She will be over at Xmas for 6 weeks so might well be around when they arrive.

Is there anything that is going on that is making you miss your family more and want them around? Is all okay with you OP? I know its not quite the same but there are loads of us on here who could maybe help and give a willing ear.

lady1964

This thread has hit a nerve for me as we (hubby & I) are moving overseas (Beijing) sometime next month, we're just waiting for move dates etc to be confirmed.
We have 3 daughters who won't be coming with us, they're 23, almost 21 & almost 17. The older two work & the youngest one has just started college. We understand that they have their own lives and we will be keeping our house for them & they will learn all sorts of skills, although the eldest one went away to Uni & the middle one has lived with her boyfriend before moving back home, so 2 of them do have independant living skills and the youngest wants to go to Uni so will learn invaluable skills to prepare her for this.
We also both have parents who are 70ish, luckily they are quite healthy & agile and we also have sisters as well as nieces & nephews. None of our extended family live nearby, the closest is about 90 mins drive away, but I have lots of friends who have said my girls can contact them if they need to.
I'm really struggling with the emotional side of moving though and am trying not to think about visiting family to say cheerio and as for thinking about leaving for the airport & getting on the plane, well I get tearful
I was made redundant a few months ago so I'm not working which is no bad thing thinking about moving but my mind isn't occupied. I'm doing lots of practical things, researching areas to live, the Chinese culture etc but I'm finding it hard emotionally.
The rational part of my brain knows there is Skype, FB etc and we will get 2 flights home per year plus we can build airmiles for me to come back more often but I'm still struggling I know this will be a wonderful experience for us and as DH puts it, this is a new chapter in our lives and I know he's right.
How do people manage with the emotional side?
I'd be really grateful for any advice thank you x

make_me_wise

My friend who is in Australia says that she deals with it by thinking of it as 'nothing is permanent or lasts forever'. At some point she will return to the UK. So she is making the most of being in an amazing country and seeing all she can of it. They also travel to places within reasonable reach like NZ and the Far East whilst they are over that side of the world. She says when she cant handle the emotional pangs of being away from those she loves she wont suffer it any more and will come home. Only do what makes you happy is my advice.

nuttywoman

This thread is close to home for me as well. My daughter & her hubby have been living in Germany for 3yrs and visits have been doable but they coming over tomorrow to us for 2 weeks then they moving to the States .He`s american .I keep filling up thinking i might not see them again or for a very long time - if we ever manage to save for flight.
Am dreading saying bye to them when we finally have to take them back to the airport x

angelil

I'm another one missing family and friends abroad.
I moved to France in 2008, to work, when I was 22. Still here full time living happily with froggy husband. I'd say I see my parents and sister actually relatively often given the circumstances - probably the same amount I saw them when I was at uni in the UK. I see my friends less frequently though, and this is hard as people of my age (25) in France are generally still at uni, so unless I want to go back, or take up smoking (I don't), I think I've got very little chance of making friends my own age here until I have children.

In terms of how you cope: with the initial move, I can't really help with that as a) I moved so quickly to France - long story! - that I didn't have time to get too emotional, and b) my move was always on the cards, so from that pov it was not really a shock to the system as we'd had years to wrap our heads round it. Long-term, contact little and often (via Facebook, email, phone, whatever really) is really helpful. Through that alone you get to see who your real friends are and identify those who are only fairweather or friends of convenience...which can only be good to know Plus, I know I'm here permanently, but my parents have always made it clear that should I ever want or need to come back to the UK there will always be a room for me - so there is that 'safety net', so to speak

PoorCharleyBear

we were overseas (Australia) for a decade and came back to UK to let small daughter get to know her family.
14 months in we barely see any of them- too busy living life- so we are heading back and will probably see more of them via Skype than we do in person.

It all seemed so possible to be a close family from the other side of the world, but the reality is very different.

Deep_In_Debt

My mum lived abroad for quite a long time after my dad died - she started living in Japan and then moved to the US for a few years. She's back in the UK now and has been for some years but it was hard at the time especially as I missed my dad.

My brother has lived abroad since his 20's and he's now nearly 50. He divides his time between the US and Africa. I do miss him as we get on well (I lived with him in New York for a while before my dad died and then I came home) I'm close to my nephews and miss them especially now that the eldest is at boarding school in the US.

We all keep in touch via email and Skype but it's not the same. That said, my bro is coming over to Europe on a conference in 3 weeks and is then going to spend a few days with my mum before going back to Africa so I can't wait to see him!

Last year, they had planned to come to mum's for Christmas but due to the snow and their flights to the UK being cancelled they went back to SIL's family in the US for Christmas. Hopefully, they will be able to spend Christmas here soon.

Surfbabe

I miss my sister enormously - she has been living in the USA for most of the last 14 years and whilst I see her once or even twice a year its still difficult - the last two years have been hardest as our mum died and then sister was diagnosed with breast cancer - all you want to do in those situations is have a hug but that isn't possible. Only other family is a brother which isn't quite the same!