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Real life MMD: Should I ask my ex for the ring back?
edited 18 October 2011 at 7:27PM in MoneySaving polls
72 replies 22.4K views
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My fiance ended our engagement back in 1991 and I couldn't bring myself to keep the ring as it was no longer a symbol of his love and commitment to our future. I didn't make a big song and dance about it but left it somewhere safe and wrote to him soon afterwards telling him where I had left it. He never acknowledged this.
I suppose everyone has their own reasons and it could be she still has feelings for you or she just values the ring itself in terms of value/appearance. It is very difficult to judge without hearing her views. You also need to be sure of your own feelings on this matter before you attempt to find out - is it just the monetary value or do you feel upset and want to retaliate in some way? :think:
Thanks for clarifying the legal standpoint.
However, from a moral perspective (which is what this thread is about, after all..!) I'm in agreement with others here that she should return the ring if she was the at fault party in the split (i.e. either she initiated the breakup with no fault ascribed to the OP or she cheated/did something else either legally or morally corrupt to the relationship).
One point that hasn't been discussed is timeline. All those here suggesting it was a gift free for her to keep might take a different view depending on the length of the relationship and the engagement. For example, if the OP new his ex-fiancee for three months and they got engaged last week then surely the circumstances are quite different to a couple together for twenty years and engaged for three? :question:
A gift is a gift. It doesn't matter how long you have known someone or when you gave it to them.
Maybe offer to sell it and split the proceeds equally? After all presumeably by the time you were in a position to get engaged with a £3k ring you were likely cohabiting or at least jointly owned other assets so must have reached some agreement about dividing up other items.
I don't see you have any choice but to suck it up and move on. Better luck next time.