Cats still not getting on - is there light at the end of the tunnel?!

gunsandbanjos

Gosh, guess ive been really lucky with my 2. Introduced new girl to my boy about 6 weeks ago and they have been getting on great! First few days was a bit tetchy but nothing major, caught them sleeping beside each other yesterday with her using his tail as a pillow!
They groom each other, will eat side by side and play quite happily. They chase each other and wrestle but its all good natured.

Good luck with yours Gwhizz.

gingin_2

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3090640

This was my very similar thread that I started when I was really in despair. Hopefully it shows that there can be light at the tunnel. It does take time but my two now get on fine with about one play fighting episode a day, if they can be bothered.

gwhizz75

Thanks everyone for the replies - It sounds like all cat introductions differ but that we're certainly not in the minority to be experiencing problems at this stage! It's just so frustrating, I feel like I can't relax in my own home because I never know when it's going to kick off.

Max seems to be really variable and sometimes he is fine (last night he was in bed snuggling with us and today has been sitting on my lap getting groomed), but other times he hisses and goes for us when we go to stroke him or pick him up. It feels like he's possessed!

To be fair, they are generally in the same room and don't avoid each other too much. Last night they both slept in the sitting room, one on each sofa and neither seemed to mind the other's presence (although it's possible he didn't realise she was there with him!). They also get left alone together when we go out and there haven't been any cuts or bruises yet. I think they fight more when we are around as whenever we get up to go to another room, they both assume they are getting fed, run to follow us and clash in the doorway. She has a habit of sitting in doorways too which doesn't help!

It's reassuring to hear that others have had to wait several months or a year for things to get better... I would be gutted if I thought that it would always be like this. I don't need them to be cuddling up together or grooming each other, just some calm in the house would do me fine.

Bethie - Molly has also received "that glare" from Max when she tries getting close when they are settling down. I feel so bad for her when it happens, the poor little thing!!

I will have a look at that post now gingin, any success stories to keep the hope going are good right now! We all deserve medals for putting up with all this feline aggression to give a cat a home!

chloebug

we have got 7 cats ranging from 13 to 4 months, all of which have been introduced (except 1) rather than family members and I am afraid I have always just let them get on with it. There are usually 'handbags', hissing and growling initially but within a couple of months they are always eating and playing together. I can't say that they all get on great, our eldest particularly has a 'difficult' relationship with a couple but she just stays out of their way. The rest all play fight and wrestle but it is generally good natured and the next minute they will be curled up together or washing each other. I have also never really gone with the gradual introduction. For the first couple of days if we have had a kitten then I have kept it seperate at night but the rest of the time they have had the run of the house from day 1. Stick with it, it will get better!

Maryland_Cookie

Hi Gwhizz, just wondered how things were going? I've just had a BREAK THROUGH....just sat on the settee with the lap top and Mollie on my knee, Bobbie has come up to her and they have been nose to nose, almost like they were kissing!! They are both sat quite close to each other with no hissing, spitting or fighting, OH MY GOD!!!!

rising_from_the_ashes

Maryland_Cookie wrote: »

Hi Gwhizz, just wondered how things were going? I've just had a BREAK THROUGH....just sat on the settee with the lap top and Mollie on my knee, Bobbie has come up to her and they have been nose to nose, almost like they were kissing!! They are both sat quite close to each other with no hissing, spitting or fighting, OH MY GOD!!!!

:j:jFantastic news!:D

gwhizz75

Sorry I haven't updated for a while - great news re: your cats though Maryland Cookie!! How have things been going since then?

We have been having ups and downs, with some really bad days and some not so bad, but still quite bad days! Until.... last Friday when there was only 1 hiss all day!! On Saturday there were a couple of minor fights and so far today - NOTHING!! Nobody has hissed, nobody has tried to scratch and nobody has growled - as I speak they are both in the living room asleep.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, just in case it all goes back to how it was but I am over the moon! :T:T

We recently started with a new strategy and I think this is what has made the difference. Instead of breaking up fights, and telling Max off or shutting him out of the room/separating them, we've just been letting them get on with it. We figured that they had never had the chance to sort things out as they naturally would as we always intervene. We also thought that by shouting to try and break them up, or kicking Max out of the room, he was probably learning to associate Molly with bad things which made him hate her even more.

This morning he walked past her in the doorway and their bodies were literally touching the whole time and he didn't even give her an evil look! Just walked on by!! I'm hoping so badly that this continues so we can have a happy christmas together without the awful tension and wondering when it is going to kick off. Like I say though, not getting my hopes up too much just yet!

How is it going for everyone else with fighting furballs?

rising_from_the_ashes

That's great news gwhizz .......

Mine still have their moments but are generally a lot better than they were say a year ago. Archie's been putting his foot down more & keeping Mia in her place (which is what she needs) so hopefully they will settle down eventually!

gwhizz75

Looks like I spoke too soon. Just got in and Max is being more aggressive than ever. He's wandering around grumbling and growling and hissing at everyone and everything

Just when I thought we might be turning a corner... Oh well, at least I got a taster of life in a peaceful home!

Maryland_Cookie

Hi Gwhizz, unfortunately mine was only a temporary break through too, and it didn't last for long........We are still at the point where I have to keep them separate at night as this is very much a "hot spot" and they seem to fight more. I agree with letting them sort it out, this is something we didn't do at first as I was worried they would come to serious harm, in hindsight, we might have been better to do this and let them sort out the natural pecking order. It's hard to know what to do for the best sometimes isn't it?

I keep wondering if a third furbaby might just sort them both out........