husband hit me

belfastgirl23

Well if this happened, it's totally out of character for him and for your relationship then you're right about needing time apart and needing to think about this properly. Clearly something has changed in the dynamics of the relationship somewhere and you both will need to spend time identifying what. I don't think it's just the alcohol because in that amount of time you must have been drunk together before.

Him being devastated and prepared to move out to give you some time gives me hope that you can salvage something here. But you definitely need to do a lot of talking and (this is the hard bit!!) LISTENING to each other to try to identify the underlying issues.

I'm not of the 'leave him the first time it happens' view unless it's a fairly new relationship or there are other signs of controlling and/or abusive behaviour. Only you know if there have been any issues with control or other types of abuse, and you do need to have a good think and acknowledge if this has been happening.

I would second what Gingham says, it might be helpful to have someone guide you through even some of these discussions. Have you thought about Relate?

Kimberley82

I asked him to move out 5 days ago, so it was after he hit me. I love him and he will do anything to make it work. But it has made me feel so bad, just down and pathetic, walking round with a black eye made me feel so !!!!.

clearingout

If he will do 'anything' to make it work, then go to counselling and go to counselling with someone who is experienced in domestic abuse issues. Phone Relate - the chances are your local branch will have at least one counsellor locally who is trained in dealing with such situations.

I am of the opinion that if can be done once, it can be done again but I accept that sometimes there are situations and circumstances which mean, if dealt with properly, the problem can be overcome. You perhaps have to 'test' his commitment to getting it sorted to see whether or not he's serious.

Take care of yourself.