husband hit me

Kimberley82

I have been married for 11 years and 3 weeks ago he hit me, he has never in all that time be like that before, never controlling, or violent. I have no idea what to do

pink_princess

Is he under alot of stress? Not that that is an excuse but something must be a factor.

BitterAndTwisted

Three weeks ago. What prompted the assault?

payless

In no way can I make excuses for his actions, but as you say its out of his norm, wondering is there something happening in his/ your life that would help explain why his actions have changed.
( edit crossed with above posts)

Suppose the question is what do you want to do, no one could disagree if you wanted him out - as a line has been crossed . Help is available.. Maybe Women's Aid if you feel you need to get out / need legal guidance.

And if you want to stay together I don't think you can let it pass without discussing it in depth.

*Louise*

What triggered it? Seems unusual that there have been no signs for all these years. Did something really bad happen? Is it something you can work through, and how have things been in the 3 weeks since it happened?

shellsuit

What did he hit you for? Not that it makes a difference but was there a particular reason why he lashed out?

Kimberley82

we had a huge argument we were both very drunk. I love him to bits I have asked him to move out for a bit while i sort my head out

Marker_2

Be prepared to have womans aid on here soon, posts and posts telling you to leave your husband just in case you get murdered!!!!!

Anyway, onto some advice. Firstly, what was his reaction immediately following hitting you and the next morning once the booze had worn off? Was he apologtic/shocked etc?

It must be difficult having this sort of sprung on you when it comes out of nowhere. Space between you both is good for the time being. Depending on what your answers are to my questions will depend on my advice though.

peachyprice

Isn't that just after you went through the trauma of the termination?

Kimberley82

Marker wrote: »

Be prepared to have womans aid on here soon, posts and posts telling you to leave your husband just in case you get murdered!!!!!

Anyway, onto some advice. Firstly, what was his reaction immediately following hitting you and the next morning once the booze had worn off? Was he apologtic/shocked etc?

It must be difficult having this sort of sprung on you when it comes out of nowhere. Space between you both is good for the time being. Depending on what your answers are to my questions will depend on my advice though.

He was devastated, he hates himself and feels very guilty

the_cat

Kimberley82 wrote: »

He was devastated, he hates himself and feels very guilty

Enough to agree to not drinking again, ever?

I would say that any reluctance to do this would mean that he is paying lip service to the severity of what he has done. It would give you a useful guage as to his real feelings, which will help you decide how best to handle it