Really down and want to give up

deliciosa

Gosh a week ago I was in heavens, new job and evertything, but now everything starts to backfire...

turns out my tax and NI contributions went to the wrong number, i dont have the right number, written to the home office, can only expect a reply in a month...

my friends dont understand why i am saving. cant go out with them, cant go to restaurant because of the DFW nerdism, can hardly do anything...

tried take in sandwiches to work, they all got muddly and smelly by lunchtime, and colleagues commenting on the sandwiches too, i really lost the will to eat now. did not eat anything on tuesday and almost fainted in te evening.

my friends all going to see the les mis and i had to say no... i will be sitting at home miserably while they having a good time

worried if i indeed wil get paid for the extra 8 days i worked in january, that is NOT included in my old contract but supposed to be included in new - long complicated story and am afraid i wotn get paid....

a friend bullied me into buying a new face cream on my amex and i dont like it but cant bring it back cus was on sale and i already regretted it and i spent a lot on it...

everything just goes wrong, i am supposed to save but miraculously my debt grows, i dont understand.

M&S have increased the APR on my card too

i just want to hide away, nothing is right, and am feeling like a total failure, i can't do anything right, not even saving.

dont expect you guys to solve it for me just wanted to get it out of my system. cried all night, i just dotn know what to do.

how did i get myself into this mess...

Tustastic

Deliciosa, don't be down-hearted. You can't change the past but you can change the present and thereby the future.
Grotty packed lunch - over the w/e you can sort out a type of packed lunch that you like better
Colleagues who laugh at your packed lunch - laugh with them and go your own way
Person who persuaded you to spend pointlessly on your credit card - you know that they are not your friend, don't you?
Today is a new day, the weekend is nearly here, full of free and nearly free fun for you and indeed all of us
Have a lovely day!:j

emzig123

Heya,

don't get upset, you are doing great! Can you be honest with your friends? I know it must be hard but maybe if you tell them that you just don't have the money at the moment they might be a little more understanding. You don't have to tell them everything. I haven't got much advice but just wanted to let you know that you'll be fine xxxxxxx

immoral_angeluk

Please don't give up. Things may look bleak now but I promise things will start looking up. In the meantime please accept lots of *big hugs* from me.

BlondeHeadOn

Ah hun, isn't this week supposed to be one of the worst weeks of the year for feeling depressed? After Christmas slump, New Year euphoria over, cold wet weather, hard slog of January, dark morning, dark afternoons....

It's not surprising that you have come down after being so high after getting the new job etc., but you will bounce back, honest. Just don't be too hard on yourself, and make sure you allow yourself a few DFW treats...

On the plus side, it's Friday, the high winds have slowed down, it's nearly the weekend, and I went to see les mis and was bored stupid all the way through!

Make sure you eat though - if your blood sugar is plummeting no wonder you feel low.

Major hugs from me, and hope you feel beteer soon.

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

abbecer

Dear OP,

Just think how far you have come. I can believe you have paid as much off your debt in such a short length of time. I know it's hard but concentrate on what you are doing right and not your past failings. You have had your lightbulb moment and are addressing your problems. It will not always be easy and sacrifices have to be made but you will look back and be glad you made them. Me and DH desperately want to go out tonight but finances won't allow. I'll probably tell him to go out and i'll have a pamper night. why don't you do the same? Spend sometime on yourself, have an early night and things will probably look a bit better tomorrow.

Rebecca xxxxxx

P.S Keep in touch with everyone on here and we will help you all we can.

beverleyhills

Stay strong. You are doing really well. DFWs find out who their true friends are. The Hurray Henrys and Henriettas disappear into the night.

chevalier

If you don't want to tell your friends about being skint, then tell them you are saving up for a deposit, new car, holiday, overpay the mortgage or whatever. Then may be they will back off
Sorry you are feeling so low
chev

susplum

I think you're doing really well!! :T :T :T

My advice, and as I'm new it may not be brilliant (especially as I haven't seen your full SOA), is to set aside some 'fun money'. maybe allow yourself £5 or £10 a week and if you manage a spend free week put it in your 'fun money' jar. That way if a big night out crops up you have saved for it and can enjoy some time with your friends.

It can be really hard to save, especially when everyone around you seems to spend spend spend, and emotionally draining. It can feel like nothing good is happening so whats the point.

Also explaining your true financial situation to your friends (as well as what your doing to remedy it) will help them to understand why you turn down nights out etc. Suggest a night in with a bottle of wine and get everyone to bring make-up face creams etc and have a girly makeover night. It costs nothing and will be a great laugh.

If your 'friends' still try to guilt-trip you into spending then they are not real friends and you should avoid their company.

Little_Miss_Winner

Hi Babe,

We all get days like this, don't be too harsh on yourself! Now lets see..

turns out my tax and NI contributions went to the wrong number, i dont have the right number, written to the home office, can only expect a reply in a month...

Can you not give them a ring and hurry them along, with all the latest technology if they have sorted it, can they not email it to your hr dept?:T

my friends dont understand why i am saving. cant go out with them, cant go to restaurant because of the DFW nerdism, can hardly do anything...

Yes, but how much debt have THEY got?........ they may find themselves in your position a couple of years down the line too???;)

tried take in sandwiches to work, they all got muddly and smelly by lunchtime, and colleagues commenting on the sandwiches too, i really lost the will to eat now. did not eat anything on tuesday and almost fainted in te evening.

Take microwave meals, Tins if soups, Beans for toast thats sort of thing, would only cost about 50p max. Don't let them bully you into not eating, You will only feel worse about yourself. Let them sod off!!!:p

my friends all going to see the les mis and i had to say no... i will be sitting at home miserably while they having a good time

It's carp anyway!!

a friend bullied me into buying a new face cream on my amex and i dont like it but cant bring it back cus was on sale and i already regretted it and i spent a lot on it...

Stick it on ebay, you will probably get back what you paid for it! As for your friend, tell her to go **** off next time she suggests you buy something tell her to buy it!!!:rotfl:


Hugs pot
xx

climbgirl

No one can force you to spend money, if you don't want to spend it on face creams, just don't. It's quite simple. Stand up to your friend and tell her to mind her own business (or his!). What you spend your money on is your business, not theirs. They can't make you buy anything you don't want to. Why are you friends with someone who "bullys" you like this?

Have you rung the tax people about the tax contributions going to the wrong number (I'm not really sure what you mean by this...)? I've had problems with incorrect tax numbers and things before and it was all sorted very quickly over the phone.

As for missing out on fun things, I'm afraid that's part of the deal if you're cutting back to pay off debts. You have to sacrifice stuff you like to do this I'm afraid. Try and find fun, free things that you do like doing. And if your friends won't go in for that then perhaps it's time to evaluate just how good these friends actually are....