what are the best value dating sites?

_sleepless_

Victoriahl wrote: »

Hi everyone

In all this time I have never seen him online on PoF- it tells you when someone was last online by your sent messages to the person- but this weekend he has been on it on and off almost constantly...!

At the end of the day you are both still on the site. You must be going on to pof to check when how often he's on there, maybe he's doing the same thing? He could have noticed you as online and then come back an hour later to see you still online and spent half the weekend thinking, oh she's on here again (how is he to know your only checking for him).

Your past experience is naturally going to make you suspicious but that doesn't necessarily mean he's a bad guy. I think you should ask him around as planned, it'll be a good way to gauge his thoughts face to face see if he acts any differently etc then depending on how things are going maybe you could casually mention how you enjoy spending time with him/how does he think things are going between the two of you/does he seeing the two of you as having the potential to go anywhere and maybe drop pof into the conversation somewhere.

If you don't feel comfortable enough bringing that up with him then how about sending him a jokey message/chat request when he's online on pof, saying oh look who it is/what are you doing here that sort of thing.

Good Luck

Victoriahl

Thanks for the replies- I know I'm being a total hypocrite seeing as I'm still on there!
It's definitely to do with my previous boyfriend; I got the same horrible knot in my stomach that I got when I used to check his profile, and see him online... It just made me think "oh no, I can't do this again"!

I think I'll still ask him round then and see how it goes- I'll just have to stop the paranoia before I turn into some kind of online bunny boiling stalker...!

littlestar1981

Vitoriahl just ask him, maybe he's going on there to reread your messages to check he doesn't say anything wrong when you're on a date and then really impresses you with his memory/attention skills (optimism is key!!!)

OK, chatted to someone else today, the conversation didn't start well when on the 4th message he told me how he'd gone on a first date last night, ended up in bed with her THEN she told him she was a newlywed.... when I replied to say I would never sleep with anyone on a first date, he stopped replying!! After the guy in the silly pink tshirt earlier (it put me off partially because of the gurning face that was being pulled by the wearer) I'm almost on the verge of quitting, not much over 24 hours after starting!!!!

There is a guy I'm texting irl, met him through a friend, got drunk and kissed him, he seems really genuine and that but there's just something missing.... grr

Victoriahl

I like the optimism Littlestar but I think I'm too cynical and jaded after all this online dating malarky now!

And it sounds like you had a lucky escape from that bloke- I would say he was DEFINITELY after one thing- keep looking though, I just think there's a hell of a lot of wheat to sort from the chaff, on that site

benb76

Victoriahl, I think you have some issues to resolve before getting back into the dating scene if it's bothering you this much. It sounds like you have become very possessive and insecure with regard to this man after only 4 dates. So what if he's been on PoF all weekend, you must have been as well to know about it! Chances are that he's received messages from other women, which he will have been notified about by email, and is just checking them out.

My advice would to be enjoy dating, but don't expect any sort of exclusivity straight away, it doesn't work like that.

Victoriahl

Thanks Benb76 - you're right, I think I'm expecting too much from someone I barely know.

The stupid thing is, I'm not even sure if I'd want a relationship with him anyway- he's nice, but not 'the one' and he probably thinks the same about me...

I've just got to stop obsessing about it- I spent 18 months with someone who was constantly messaging women online, placing dating ads and emailing ex girlfriends, and it's made me a bit wary and paranoid of men like that now.

But I've got to remember, I've only met this guy a few times and if nothing comes from it, so what? I should just relax and enjoy a few casual dates!

God, if a bloke was being like I'm being, I'd run a mile! :eek:

girlybags

Victoriahl wrote: »

I've just got to stop obsessing about it- I spent 18 months with someone who was constantly messaging women online, placing dating ads and emailing ex girlfriends, and it's made me a bit wary and paranoid of men like that now.

My ex was exactly the same, he also used to watch A LOT of !!!!!! and while I'm in no way against !!!!!! he didn't want sex with me so it was quite worrying :eek: He's the only bloke I've ever been with who was like that and it was over 6 years ago now so I tend to chalk it up to experience and give others the benefit of the doubt And for what it's worth I stayed with him for 3 and a half years and he's my son's dad so it could be worse :rotfl::rotfl:

Victoriahl

You're right Girlybags, at least you got your son out of being involved with someone like that!

How are you finding PoF- found anyone nice on there yet? I don't know whether I'm being too picky but I just think most people on there are awful! :rotfl:

girlybags

Victoriahl wrote: »

You're right Girlybags, at least you got your son out of being involved with someone like that!

How are you finding PoF- found anyone nice on there yet? I don't know whether I'm being too picky but I just think most people on there are awful! :rotfl:

I agree with you, most of them either blatantly lie about their age and weight, put 10 year old pics on or are complete chavs who only type in 'text speak'

I've chatted to a couple of guys on there but no-one I'm desperate to meet. At least I've learnt that I attract really overweight men in their 40's and black guys who want me to move to a different country to look after their kids... No, really!

I'm picky too but not bothered whether I meet someone or not at the mo so I suppose I can afford to be, it's good for a giggle anyway :rotfl:

Victoriahl

Ha ha- I know, what's with all the deeply unattractive guys in their late forties messaging us?!

I get emails saying "John47UK would like to meet you" and you look on their profile, and see some overweight, balding man looking like a murder suspect; and I think "yes, I bloody bet he wants to meet me!" :rotfl: