Benefits outweigh working?

Bridesmaid83

This is ridiculous but I wanted some advice. The job I'm about to start is 18.5 hrs a week and i'll be taking home about £800 a month (if i'm lucky) i thnk that's brilliant for being a part-timer but it's a downgrade from what I was earning previously which was £905.

My partner has a very respectable job and we have a child together and he insists we go halves in absolutely everything - even though he's earning double what I am. First of all, am I the only on that thinks that's completely unfair? Seeing as I'm giving up 2.5 days (plus weekends cuz he's always working) to look after our baby so we don't have to pay childcare. Our childcare bill each month ranges between 400 - 500 pounds and even with my new job starting he still insists we split everything 50/50 and he claims he'll have 'nothing left at the end of the month' if he pays most the childcare. I've told him about the childcare voucher scheme at his work but does he look into it? Of course not.

I'm annoyed that he said to me 'just go on benefits' and I told him I'd probably get nothing seeing as he earns too much and we live together. Is there a website where I can just check this out? I know there's no way in hell i'd get more than £800 a month on benefits so I don't know what the hell he's thinking. I'm upset he won't realise that he has to support his family financially and if I were to go back to 37 hours a week then our childcare would be double and we'd be in the same situation.

I guess i'm having a rant plus needing a bit of advice and wanting to know whether anyone else thinks that my partner is being completely selfish and unsupportive of his family.

Thanks

puddy

yes, tell him you're happy to go halves and you will factor in the child care you provide for the family at say £5 per hour, add it up and take it off the other expenses that he is asking you to pay for

BrettMorganxD

Bridesmaid83 wrote: »

This is ridiculous but I wanted some advice. The job I'm about to start is 18.5 hrs a week and i'll be taking home about £800 a month (if i'm lucky) i thnk that's brilliant for being a part-timer but it's a downgrade from what I was earning previously which was £905.

My partner has a very respectable job and we have a child together and he insists we go halves in absolutely everything - even though he's earning double what I am. First of all, am I the only on that thinks that's completely unfair? Seeing as I'm giving up 2.5 days (plus weekends cuz he's always working) to look after our baby so we don't have to pay childcare. Our childcare bill each month ranges between 400 - 500 pounds and even with my new job starting he still insists we split everything 50/50 and he claims he'll have 'nothing left at the end of the month' if he pays most the childcare. I've told him about the childcare voucher scheme at his work but does he look into it? Of course not.

I'm annoyed that he said to me 'just go on benefits' and I told him I'd probably get nothing seeing as he earns too much and we live together. Is there a website where I can just check this out? I know there's no way in hell i'd get more than £800 a month on benefits so I don't know what the hell he's thinking. I'm upset he won't realise that he has to support his family financially and if I were to go back to 37 hours a week then our childcare would be double and we'd be in the same situation.

I guess i'm having a rant plus needing a bit of advice and wanting to know whether anyone else thinks that my partner is being completely selfish and unsupportive of his family.

Thanks

To the first question. If you are living together and have a child, would it not be best to have a joint bank account. Instead of going "halves" on everything

You wouldn't get nowhere near £800 pcm on benefits. Not even close.

How old is your partner?

To see if you are entitled to anything, I would use the benefits checkup link at the top of this page. It always helps me out

cord123

I'm sorry but I cant understand couples attitudes to money! My husband and I pay both our wages into a joint account, all the bills come out, a little goes into a joint savings, a little into kids/rainy day fund (which is what pays for kids clothes, school trips, car tax etc) then an equal amount goes int our own account to spend on what we want! My husband earns more than more and technically I work less hours as part time, but I run around after all the kids before and after work, and do most of the household chores... he would never tell me to pay half!
Tell him that you will go back to work full time and then he can work part time... he will soon realise he is being unfair! what did you do when you were on maternity leave? xx

sick2death

Ummm! Your partner needs a good slap!

The bills should be split fairly, proportionatley to the amount you earn. You earn £800 p/m, if (for example) your partner earns £1600 p/m. You would pay 33.3% of X bill, he would pay 66.6%.

Its a bit anal, but by the sounds of it, so is your partner.

debrag

Me & my partner don't have a joint account, we split the bills and anything left is for us to do what we like with. At present we earn the same sort of money but I'll be getting more soon but that extra money will go into savings.

zagfles

You're unlikey to get anything in benefits other than child benefit and tax credits, both of which you should already be getting. Outside chance of HB/LHA if you're renting.

https://www.turn2us.entitledto.co.uk/entitlementcalculator.aspx

Bridesmaid83

I don't want to go on benefits as I feel like being at work is my little break away from our toddler, who is a handful. I look after her about 80% of the time as partner is always working, or at band practice/playing gigs or sleeping. I've tried talking to him about how it's unfair that I have chosen to work part time in order to save on childcare but he's just not seeing sense. It really upsets me because I thought he was a decent guy. We've been together for 6 years. We have a joint account which we had before the baby was born and so far all our savings have gone on childcare. We were saving that money for a deposit on a house. Even that joint account he wants us both to put £250.00 a month in it. Lately I've not been doing that but since he's caught on to the fact that I don't contribute to it (cuz I literally can't) he's no longer contributing to it.

He's being completely selfish.

jamespir

benefits dont outwegih working if you wnat to work do it but you should reach a compromise with your partner about paying bills both your happy with

zagfles

Bridesmaid83 wrote: »

I don't want to go on benefits as I feel like being at work is my little break away from our toddler, who is a handful. I look after her about 80% of the time as partner is always working, or at band practice/playing gigs or sleeping. I've tried talking to him about how it's unfair that I have chosen to work part time in order to save on childcare but he's just not seeing sense. It really upsets me because I thought he was a decent guy. We've been together for 6 years. We have a joint account which we had before the baby was born and so far all our savings have gone on childcare. We were saving that money for a deposit on a house. Even that joint account he wants us both to put £250.00 a month in it. Lately I've not been doing that but since he's caught on to the fact that I don't contribute to it (cuz I literally can't) he's no longer contributing to it.

He's being completely selfish.

Did you not talk about finances, work, childcare etc before deciding to have a baby? Some people do have some very strange ideas about how things work when you have a family. TBH it's a very strange attitude for him to have if he really wanted a baby, it sounds like he's totally unready for family life.

Oldernotwiser

puddy wrote: »

yes, tell him you're happy to go halves and you will factor in the child care you provide for the family at say £5 per hour, add it up and take it off the other expenses that he is asking you to pay for

That's less than NMW!