MUG tattoo on my forehead, or am I unfair?

Samsaragirl

when I say cannot be nasty to him, I'm the wife in the cliche comedy sketches, I shout and scream but he is above me and shuts his ears off and does not hear.


If I do anything legal I may lose my dd, but she knows what's going on

Caroline73_2

Samsaragirl wrote: »

I have to Caro, cannot be stuck anymore- am 47 next week :-)

Do it then! My birthday next week too.

Samsaragirl

which day- weds mine.

31 again lol

Samsaragirl

feels lioke he is covertly forcinig me to sell the house, as he is still on the mortgage

ali-t

I would be tempted to sell the house, buy something smaller (outright if you can) so there is no space for him or your sponging ungrateful children and start living the rest of your life the way you want to.

One thing I don't understand OP is how it is your ex's fault that you have too many animals.

Jessikita1983

Samsaragirl wrote: »

Try to keep it brief ;-). 46, divorced 2 years, was married 23.

I 'got' family home in divorce, in reality the equity. From the outset, I let my ex, who had left by mutual consent, come here as our dd, 14 at the time, was fragile to say the least.

4 years on, he comes round after work every day, and at weekends- have tried many times to stop him, but he just does the guilt thing.

I have put on 6 stone in weight, and am angry all the time, as he totally f****d me in the divorce, and left when I was at my lowest.

Now it gets no better, feel like the hub of the family in 'keeping' it together, yet also the outsider.

My dd started uni locally last month, a 3 yr honours degree, which, despite me passing 11 plus and going to grammar school, I left after a levela and got marrid to the father.

He has a high paid job with banks and has had since we were married 2 years btw.

dd gets full loans and maintenance, and bf student also (20) stays here most of the time also. If I ask that they pay for anything they get !!!!!!, move plates, empty dishwasher. I get total abuse (verbal) and daddy sits here and lets it happen.

Had a lot of abuse from son before he went into house paid for by my mother, and have tried to contact womens aid.

I am ready for some harsh words, please help. I am soft, always have been.

Edit to say, there is no relationship between me and ex other than getting on as people who know each other well, he is smug, I am angry. Sex stopped at least 10 years before the marriage ended.

Oh sweetpea, I feel for for you. I am very headstrong but I feel for you. If you were a direct friend of mine, this would be the action plan I would draw up for you!

Firstly your confidence must come from within. So you are 6 stone overweight. Get yourself down weightwatchers. £20 a month good investment. Please do not give me any excuses as to why you can't go. Get yourself joined! Start losing weight, nothing worse than being miserable, is being fat and miserable!

As you lose weight and your confidence grows. Get yourself some mates. Go on meetup website and make friends, start going out a couple of evenings a week. DO NOT tell ex hubby or daughter where you are going. Let them stew.

When you have some confidence and a few mates, get that daughter and boyfriend kicked into shape. I would suggest getting a smaller house, locally and "informing" her she has to move out. 18 is old enough to live her own life and certainly wouldn't take abuse from her and her boyfriend. (sounds like they both need a clip around the ear!)

When you live alone and are not seeing your ex every single day, you will probably find your feelings towards him change. Get yourself a new bloke, you will have by now lost loads of weight, have an active social life, I'm unsure if you work etc, but get yourself a bit of work, adult company is what you need.

Rid yourself of these negative vibes. Life is for living hun, not a dress rehearsal.

Get yourself sorted before it is too late!

gratefulforhelp_2

How many bedrooms do you have?

Why not take in some lodgers, if you are going to clean up after people, why not do it for financial reward?

newcook

Samsaragirl wrote: »

I am still running on my instincts, and please do not diss me for this. Alkl I know to do uis to protect and nurture.

hmmm I smell a bored troll.

my reason for this assumption is I dont know ANY 46 year olds who use the word 'diss'


now be a good teenager and get back to class - Ideally an English one where you can learn how to spell.

LandyAndy

newcook wrote: »

hmmm I smell a bored troll.

my reason for this assumption is I dont know ANY 46 year olds who use the word 'diss'


now be a good teenager and get back to class - Ideally an English one where you can learn how to spell.

Me too. You just beat me to it:p.

Classic, everytime a point is answered a new 'problem' appears, or some ludicrously unlikely situation is revealed.

Sublime_2

Samsaragirl, don't see what the problem is. I can understand the odd 'hookup' with your ex at the beginning. If you are lonely; its only natural.

Sell your house, and get a smaller property, or take in a lodger as previously suggested, and be firm with your ex. Its the only way to move on. :cool: