What is it like to live in a flat?

studentphil

Loop wrote:

Phil, why didnt you just say that? The way you "pose" weird questions gets peoples backs up, be frank about things and we will not mock you for it.

I think you are best working out a budget 1st, then having a look at all sorts of different accomodation for that budget, before you rule anything out/in, you may love house sharing you may decide a house on your own is too big...why not start calling a faw estate agents/landlords, and visitng a few places early to get an idea of what you can realistically achieve?

Thanks! I did not think it was a weird question as such.

Again my budget will depend on what I can earn, which is hard to say just now.

Loop

Surely you can earn a minimum of £800 per month, even if you worked in a shop? You have savings yes? Use those, thats what they are there for!

If you have no idea on budget you really are stumped right now and looking at anything will be out of reach...

I know you dont think its a weird question, but why didnt you just say "I want my own place I want some advice on peoples experiences after moving out of home" you see.. then people dont think your using us as some sort of essay question LOL! Rather than posing questions just spill it out as if you were chatting normally to us in person...

*shocked at amount of advice offered up so freely LMAO*

[Deleted User]

studentphil wrote:

Thanks! I did not think it was a weird question as such.

Again my budget will depend on what I can earn, which is hard to say just now.

I don't think its so much a weird question.

If you are anything like me, you may have been a bit nervous about mentioning that you are planning to move out. Its early stages of a big decision. I would probably have asked a similarly general question - in the hope of avoiding people expecting me to act before I was ready.

Anyway, my brother at 42 lives with my mother. As a gay man who hasn't come out to my mother, he hasn't built successful partnerships. Whenever he talked of moving into a flat, my mother always ran through rather undermining negatives - 'you'll never manage on your own', 'why pay such expensive rent when you can live here?', 'you don't want to be stuck in a pokey dark flat'.
Obviously my mum didn't want him to move out. She needed to take care of him and he knew it - plus he was a bit unmotivated and lazy.
He has found a potential partner now - my mum is 83 and its all much more difficult.
That's why its SO good that you are thinking about it now.

Good for you Phil!

studentphil

Loop wrote:

Surely you can earn a minimum of £800 per month, even if you worked in a shop? You have savings yes? Use those, thats what they are there for!

If you have no idea on budget you really are stumped right now and looking at anything will be out of reach...

I know you dont think its a weird question, but why didnt you just say "I want my own place I want some advice on peoples experiences after moving out of home" you see.. then people dont think your using us as some sort of essay question LOL! Rather than posing questions just spill it out as if you were chatting normally to us in person...

*shocked at amount of advice offered up so freely LMAO*

Okay, I see what you mean about the question.
I think budget wise my income might be 1000 per month, so I suppose rent wise probably could not go further than 300 a month

studentphil

cgw wrote:

I don't think its so much a weird question.

If you are anything like me, you may have been a bit nervous about mentioning that you are planning to move out. Its early stages of a big decision. I would probably have asked a similarly general question - in the hope of avoiding people expecting me to act before I was ready.

Anyway, my brother at 42 lives with my mother. As a gay man who hasn't come out to my mother, he hasn't built successful partnerships. Whenever he talked of moving into a flat, my mother always ran through rather undermining negatives - 'you'll never manage on your own', 'why pay such expensive rent when you can live here?', 'you don't want to be stuck in a pokey dark flat'.
Obviously my mum didn't want him to move out. She needed to take care of him and he knew it - plus he was a bit unmotivated and lazy.
He has found a potential partner now - my mum is 83 and its all much more difficult.
That's why its SO good that you are thinking about it now.

Good for you Phil!

Yes, I can not really wait for my parents to die before I move out as I might be waiting 25 years and it is not very nice to think anyway.

Loop

Well go have a looksy what you could get for that hun...I doubt a flat, well maybe a tiny one for that...

studentphil

Loop wrote:

Well go have a looksy what you could get for that hun...I doubt a flat, well maybe a tiny one for that...

I will go have a look!

Maybe I am wrong but if you start getting to spending more than a third of your gross Income on rent then you could hit trouble.

[Deleted User]

My friend(whom I have mentioned to you before), who is lying down and only moves one hand slightly, has always been active in disability rights.

She was aware that when she moved out, her mum had a tough time. Being a 'carer' for my pal had been a major role in her mum's life. Maybe she had never imagined my pal living independantly from her.

Initially my pal was able to get an adapted flat (specifically for disabled people) from the council. She hadn't expected to live beyond 12 originally and then not beyond her teens.

She finished her degree and set up her own company. She now lives with her partner and their daughter in the South West. She is doing a second degree in counselling whilst still running her training and consultancy company. She has a mortgage and is the main breadwinner for her family.

Her mum has gone on to set up a disability support charity.

I remember when she was arrested in London for protesting about inaccessible public transport; there were a whole crowd of protesters, but she placed herself in front of a bus and refused to move until she could make a statement.

Her Gran saw it on the TV news and said, 'What will that girl get up to next!'

She and I will next work together in Feb. She is nearly 31 now - very kind, has an incredible tolerance of difference and is full of insight.

She is very funny: the other day she told me that the annoying thing about being that disabled is that if she wanted to be a 'self harmer' (not that she does), she would need help - so it wouldn't be self harm!

amyandoli

cgw wrote:

Anyway, my brother at 42 lives with my mother. That's why its SO good that you are thinking about it now. Good for you Phil!

My friend is in his 30s lives at home too! I have another in his late 20s that moved to scotland with his mum a few months ago (he does everything she says, and is really controlled).
Anyway... everyone moves out sooner or later hopefully, it isn't very attractive to still be living at home i think . use the budget spreadsheet and talk to family/friends who have done it. i moved out at 19, whilst a student and within a couple of months was totally in control of in comings and out goings, it's easier than you think.
I've lived in different types of house, and a room is a room, i couldnt be without a garden though, in my last house there was no fencing up and the neighbours were in the garden all the time, so we had no privacy (rented). this house we've bought and as soon as we have the cash we'll be putting up 6ft panels to stop the nosey neighbours peeking!
good luck.

studentphil

cgw wrote:

My friend(whom I have mentioned to you before), who is lying down and only moves one hand slightly, has always been active in disability rights.

She was aware that when she moved out, her mum had a tough time. Being a 'carer' for my pal had been a major role in her mum's life. Maybe she had never imagined my pal living independantly from her.

Initially my pal was able to get an adapted flat (specifically for disabled people) from the council. She hadn't expected to live beyond 12 originally and then not beyond her teens.

She finished her degree and set up her own company. She now lives with her partner and their daughter in the South West. She is doing a second degree in counselling whilst still running her training and consultancy company. She has a mortgage and is the main breadwinner for her family.

Her mum has gone on to set up a disability support charity.

I remember when she was arrested in London for protesting about inaccessible public transport; there were a whole crowd of protesters, but she placed herself in front of a bus and refused to move until she could make a statement.

Her Gran saw it on the TV news and said, 'What will that girl get up to next!'

She and I will next work together in Feb. She is nearly 31 now - very kind, has an incredible tolerance of difference and is full of insight.

She is very funny: the other day she told me that the annoying thing about being that disabled is that if she wanted to be a 'self harmer' (not that she does), she would need help - so it wouldn't be self harm!

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Good on her!

I dont aim at first for a top job or a really super lifestyle. Just something different to what my life is now.