Advice re sending out v.late thankyou cards

74jax

Debbiecatal wrote: »

and I also enjoyed a great time at their expense at the wedding - for which I won't have sent a thank you!
i personally would always thank someone for letting me spend there wedding day with them, and also for paying for the meal ect for me, I just thought it was what people did, thought like you say, you would have given a gift because you wanted to and attended because you wanted to, not to be thanked. Maybe I'm a bit old fashioned.


I appreciate it is customary, but life's too short to get all worked up about whether or not you received a thank you note. Just send them out and people will be really pleased to get them, or won't be worth worrying about!

It would always be at the back of my mind if I didn't send a thank you, but every one is different and agreed, life is to short to worry about things like this.

zcrat41

My friend recently attended a wedding where the thank you card arrived just a couple of days later - it turned out that the bride and groom had written the cards containing generic messages BEFORE the wedding! That's incredibly organised but seems a little cold for me!

Thanks again [/QUOTE]


Charliezoo - that was me!! I did that. My wedding was in June and the minute we got back off honeymoon I knew we were going into harvest - 3 months of 100 hour weeks so I knew I wouldn't have time. I was so worried about doing them early but actually, half my guests were scottish where apparently its more normal and a lot of the older relatives actually rang my mum to say it was so nice to have received a letter in the "traditional way". Apparently, back in the day, gifts were given before the wedding so on the day, guests could admire them in the dining room and letters were already.

I wrote a letter to each rather than a card and made sure it was personal. I HATE the

Dear ...

Thank you for your x. It looks lovely in our kitchen. Thank you for coming to our wedding, we had such a nice time.

Love
x.

letters. Far too short and rude. I'd rather have a long, late and personal. And maybe I'm hyacinth bucket in the making but I do note a late thank you. A younger cousin birthday present has been thank you note lacking for 9 weeks now - shocking behaviour ;-)

The other thing I did was tell a few of my gossipy friends my reason for doing the notes early - scottish family, harvest etc. And anyone I thought might be offended. Maybe if their's the odd distant cousin you could include a comment in their note but not in those who know you well.

Have a fun weekend - it sounds horribly ungrateful but blimey its a boring job!

Flat_Eric

I like the post it note option that someone mentioned or I would be inclined to get some white labels and print little pictures of some snails and stick over the seal of the envelope :rotfl:

I don't think it matters that they are late. I think most guests would have forgotten and it will be a nice surprise.

Debbiecatal

74jax wrote: »

Originally Posted by Debbiecatal
and I also enjoyed a great time at their expense at the wedding - for which I won't have sent a thank you!
i personally would always thank someone for letting me spend there wedding day with them, and also for paying for the meal ect for me, I just thought it was what people did, thought like you say, you would have given a gift because you wanted to and attended because you wanted to, not to be thanked. Maybe I'm a bit old fashioned.


I appreciate it is customary, but life's too short to get all worked up about whether or not you received a thank you note. Just send them out and people will be really pleased to get them, or won't be worth worrying about!
It would always be at the back of my mind if I didn't send a thank you, but every one is different and agreed, life is to short to worry about things like this.

I agree everyone is different - I got married 32 years ago, and we had 100 to the wedding breakfast and 300 in the evening and I don't remember getting a single written thank you note for the wedding! We had loads of cards and lots of verbal thanks on the day and we sent out thank yous for the presents we received, but it has really never occurred to me to send or receive thank yous for attendance at weddings - you obviously move in a much higher social circle than me !

I am now starting to worry how many people I have offended unwittingly over the years! Oh dear....!

MaggieBaking

It's definitely not customary. I do always write in wedding cards how thankful we are to have been invited and included in their special day though.

Kaye1

As a guest, I always send a card to say thanks/we had a lovely day. Reason- they have probably spend over £100 wining and dining my clan, and I am glad that they thought to invite me.

Brides- if someone dropped you a note saying they had a fabulous time, surely you would be chuffed considering all the effort you put in?

I always send thank you notes- again, no one HAS to give me a gift so I am thankful they have done so. I often spend a lot of time thinking of a personal gift and it is lovely to have someone recognise that. Not essential but certainly nice.