Do old dating traditions still apply?

Gabriel-Ernest

I've been out of the dating game for a long long time, but hypothetically I would assume I was with a lady and I would behave like a gentleman; I gather from women friends that gentlemanly behaviour is increasingly rare and appreciated by many. I would prefer to pay (even if she invited me) but wouldn't push it if she was clearly uncomfortable with that idea.

A female friend went out on a date recently with someone she had been talking to on Gumtree. The moment they actually met, she knew it would be a disaster - he talked nonstop, had a lot of nervous tics and strange mannerisms, helped himself to food off her plate with his fingers, and disappeared when the bill arrived. She chalked that one up to experience!

abbecer

Depends how well you know them to start with and if they can afford to pay for both. If i knew a date didn't have much money i wouldn't be offended to pay my own way. Probably prefer it really as they can't expect anything!!!

Rebecca x (obviously female)

Bagpuss1973

esthomizzy wrote:

I voted whoever asked who out. If that was the bloke then he should pay especially on a first date. After you've been going out a while you can share or take it in turns. If my date suggested I pay half at that stage it'd prove what a miser he is and would be a useful warning to avoid a second date.

Other warning signals of scrooges are people who insist on adding up what they ate in a group meal outing and those who will never buy rounds. If they are also happy to freeload off other peoples rounds then double whammy.

Thought the above was a bit harsh!! Adding up what you had to eat and not buying rounds does NOT make you a scrooge!! Personally I rarely buy rounds but then I drink coke or lemonade, plus I usually drive - not that people usually offer petrol money (which I don't mind but you are implying that I'm a scrooge!) also I tend to add up what I've eaten because I have to be careful with my money and can't afford to sub other peoples meals if they choose to have lobster and I have a salad.:mad:

As for the date thing, my fiance paid for everthing on our first date (although I did offer - he refused me to pay half).:T

victory

not sure half and half seems fair, why would you expect someone to pay in full like the OP says they may have money probs.... xxx

MSE_Martin

Isn't it interesting that most men so far say "the man" and women say "half-half!"

katemcg

I had a good conversation about this with my housemate who is gay - she said when it was her and another girl then whoever asked the other out paid. I have been on lots of dates and always offer to pay half, but must admit I'm a little disappointed if the man accepts. Mind you, this is only on the first date, so I see it as a romantic gesture. From then on I go half-half.

Also, must agree that those who add up their meal are not scrooges. I'm a vegetarian and get a bit sick of splitting the bill with people who've had steak or lobster!

bald_ade

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PeteW

Wow, can't believe the 'man should pay' is top! Didn't realise we still lived in such a sexist country! I expected half-each to have 90% of the vote.

LouiseF_2

It's nice to see there are still some gentlemen out there. Of course, we are all equal in our working lives, but most women when out on a date like to be treated like a lady and made to feel special.

sparrer

I voted half and half, simply because I've been on a couple of 'blind dates' and in all fairness to the men on this board I was pleased to have been able to pay my share and walk away. I'd feel guilty if the man paid and I'd had no intention of seeing him again . Having said that I did pay for both of us on one occasion - he said he'd changed his jacket and left his wallet in the other one. Offered to leave me as ransom while he drove 30 miles or so to get it - a likely tale! It was easier for me to pay and go on my way. He later had the nerve to phone and ask for a second date...I won't tell you what I said (under my breath of course, because I'm a lady of mature years ) but the Army would have been proud of me! :rotfl: