Terrible wedding speeches

findingmyownway

The worst 'father of the bride' speech I've seen was when the father spent a good 10 minutes talking about how amazing his new son-in-law was, 'he's so good looking and sporty and clever blah blah'. Yet made no comment about being proud of his daughter, her looking nice in her dress or her achievements in life (of which there are many, she's a doctor etc).

All the guests were left with the uncomfortable feeling that he really wanted to say "my god, i've no idea how my daughter has managed to trap this one, he's amazing and she's rather ordinary, its got no chance of lasting"

I think there were 'issues' there!!

wanchai_2

As a B2B, I am seriously considering making a little speech of my own! I am not that confident, but then neither is my OH or his best man, but we will be fine (I hope!). No idea what to say yet, but I will definitely say a few thank yous at the very least.

MaggieBaking wrote: »

Theoretically the grooms speech should be 5 minutes and the best man's 10 minutes.

Personally those in the audience who don't know you very well will find a long speech boring. Anyone who finds wedding speeches boring, will find yours boring.

I've never heard one that was too long because I love them - the tears, laughs and the chance for those to stand up and say "this love is beautiful". But I'm a soppy sod.

Don't feel you have to make it fit a certain time. If you only have 3 minutes of things to say then that's ok. If you want to spend 10 minutes declaring your love for your wife then let people fidget.

The worst speech I heard was when someone basically said "here's a funny anecdote". But actually, it wasn't funny, it was pointless and a bit shocking!!!

It sounds a bit trite but just say what's in your heart.

Agreed!! I love love love the speeches!!! Take ten minutes if you want, and never mind if people are fidgeting! They will fidget no matter what! It's your day and you should have a few minutes to say those things that are important to you. The fidgeters can have no speeches/shorter speeches at their own weddings.

Keep it simple and it will be lovely.

findingmyownway wrote: »

The worst 'father of the bride' speech I've seen was when the father spent a good 10 minutes talking about how amazing his new son-in-law was, 'he's so good looking and sporty and clever blah blah'. Yet made no comment about being proud of his daughter, her looking nice in her dress or her achievements in life (of which there are many, she's a doctor etc).

All the guests were left with the uncomfortable feeling that he really wanted to say "my god, i've no idea how my daughter has managed to trap this one, he's amazing and she's rather ordinary, its got no chance of lasting"

I think there were 'issues' there!!

Oh dear, how awful!

SplanK

I started writing mine about a month ago (around 6 months prior to the wedding at that point), got bits bashed out - very very rough just wanted to get the "bones" of the speech down on paper, not in any particular order. I didnt use anything else at the time. Then left it.

Came back to it this weekend and cleaned it up and padded it out a touch and re-wrote some of it. I found this time that reading other speeches whilst doing the clean up has helped to get a feel of what I should be saying. I agree - don't just copy somebody elses, it has to be from you and you only. Use other speeches as a guide only.

My aim is to get a good enough speech that is also easy to repeat without to much ramble. There is no "I have to make it 5/10mins long" - it will last as long as it lasts even if its only 1 minute.

I am going to try my best to learn the bones of mine as its not too long BUT I am not silly enough to not have que cards AND the full thing printed out... if I have a mental block I can use the que cards.... if I completly screw up and cant remember anything then I can just go to the full thing.

This is the *ONE* thing I am epicly nervous about. I do not like been center of attention, not do I like speaking infront of a large number of people. Geez I find it hard sometimes to give a presentation at work infront of 5 people!!

Idiophreak

I've heard a couple of speeches that were pretty poor - the first one, the guy just seemed really unprepared, muttered a couple of things then sat down - just too short, waste of time etc.
The second was when the guy clearly got the whole thing from the internet...it had about 80 references to sodomy in it and no kind of personal comments about the bride or groom at all, was horrific...Still, the bride and groom liked it.

My groom's speech went badly off the rails - was scheduled for 5-10 minutes but ran to 25+...in fact, all three speeches (FOB, Groom, best man) grew from 30mins planned to 75mins on the day. :eek: But, even if I dare say so myself, they were all really good. Everyone was laughing and cheering the whole way through - and it didn't seem *anything like* that long. Everyone I've spoken to since has been completely disbelieving that they took that long - I only believed it after I saw the video. I also had a good 30 people compliment me on the speech afterward, which I took as a good sign...

I agree with the advice above about writing it down...I only did mine on the morning of the day, but was really glad to have it once I got up there.

Idiophreak

chatnoir wrote: »

Oh I do love it when the groom says "on behalf of my wife and I..." and everyone cheers!

Yes, definitely this! It gets you a laugh/cheer right at the start and that really helps to settle your nerves!

minerva_windsong

The worst one I've seen was my boyfriend's brother's best man, which I'm blaming entirely on booze - slurry, blue jokes, mumbly and just really, really awful. Apparently the speech that actually made it to the reception was severely edited down by the mother of the groom so God only knows what the original was like.

To that end, the only advice I'd give is: don't get drunk. One drink beforehand is fine, but stop at one. Otherwise, just speak from the heart and you'll be fine - as the groom you don't really need to be funny. And don't forget to thank everyone; one of the funniest moments at my boyfriend's sister's wedding was when the groom finished his speech, went and sat down, got some frantic nudging off the best man, went back to the mike and went, "I forgot the bridesmaids!" Of course, the best man then opened with, "I'd like to thank the bridesmaids..." and got a laugh straight off.

Oh, and you will get a huge cheer the first time you say, "My wife and I..."

esuhl

I had to step in to give a "father of the bride" speech for my sister's wedding (my father died years ago), and despite being really nervous and having no experience of public speaking, it went down really well.

I would plan what you ought to say (wife looks beautiful, thanks to new parents-in-law for any help with wedding if appropriate, etc.) and follow that with a brief, light-hearted bit of background (how you met, why you fell in love, how your wife has been a positive influence, etc.) and then finish off with a personal anecdote or joke (something that wouldn't be embarrassing or blush-inducing to anyone in the audience).

I think if you keep it short, personal, sincere and light-heartedly amusing you can't go far wrong. Reading the final draft out loud to someone helps you change words/phrases that you stumble over, and see whether the listener smiles/laughs at the bits you were expecting them to.

I found it really helpful to search the web for speeches - mainly so I could identify why they were all so bad and avoid the cringeworthy cliches, etc.!

YoungBaker

I definitely think preparation is the key.

Also you need to make sure you make a note ahead of everyone you need to thank etc. and clarify this list with your parents, fiance etc.

Apart from that just try and make sure you include everything you want to say.

Finally I think if you are telling a certain anecdote or "funny" story - make sure it is actually funny. As someone already said it can be the case you tell a story you think is hilarious but in actual fact is one of they "you had to be there" moments..

tranmereforever

It can be quite a tricky business, firstly it depends on how many people you have there? I had 130 so I tried to avoid making an injokes as there would be a lot of people that didnt know what I was talking about

Preparation is the key, if possible try to not read it off a sheet and just have a few bullet points to keep you from forgetting anyone and most of all try and relax and be yourself

jojo2004

Worst Groom's speech? My best mate's new husband, who thanked me for my 'militant organisation' of the hen, and didn't mention the cake I'd made them... No, we don't get on terribly well...