How to resist spending?

bendix

I despair when I see posts like this.

If you don't want to spend money, don't spend money. Nobody makes you. It is entirely your freewill.

If you - as an adult - can't control it then I have no sympathy. Children, I can understand, but grown adults. For the love of God, what is wrong with modern society that people need advice on how not to spend money when they walk past a damn shop?

SliAbhaile

Cycle.

You stay fit, you save commuting costs, and you can't spend money when you're on the bike (admittedly there is a group who spend silly money on their bikes but you don't have to be one of those).

The other tip is work in Vauxhall, SE15. I worked there for eight years and there was nothing, NOTHING, to do other than visit the greasy spoon for lunch. So for all those years I cycled to work, worked, and cycled home. I saved plenty

dtsazza

In general, while it's what you asked for, I don't think the majority of posts on here are really that helpful.

If you have a problem with overspending when put in certain situations, avoiding those situations (such as changing your route to not pass shops, or cutting up cards) helps in the short term but it's a sticking plaster over a critical weakness. Let's face it - you can't avoid opportunities to spend forever, and chances are that whatever malignant mood causes you to splurge will be stronger in those situations that do slip through the net. And then you'll probably b even more upset by it, etc.

Bendix is right, if very upfront. The only appropriate action is to not spend. You've come on here, you've said you don't want to spend - why do you then? Fundamentally you clearly do, else you wouldn't be doing it.

You need to convince yourself you don't want to spend. Think of the opportunity cost of losing the money, of the stuff you won't have, of the lower "score" in the "game" of earning money with no effort that is interest, of having to rent for an extra month due to spending deposit money. Whatever it is that you rationally think you want to save for, you need to emotionally convince yourself of.

You need to get to the point where you can stand in front of the shop, look at a £50 pair of trainers, and think something like "£50? I already have a pair of trainers in fair condition, and that'd be £50 less in savings for this month" (or whatever). Running away from the situations won't fix your problem - address the underlying conflict.

dtsazza

As an addendum - for me at least, I find using cash is worse, since it's unaccountable. With any kind of plastic, the monthly statement shows exactly what I spent, and where.

I keep simple electronic personal accounts which means I can easily break down my spending by category and see where the money's going. I also have a "discretionary spend" flag I put on a transactions where I've knowingly spent more than is necessary, so that I can keep tabs on how much this affects the totals at the end of the month. (This might be things like getting a £5 lunch from Pret instead of bringing a packed lunch, or buying ingredients from Sainsbury's to make a sandwich.)

For me, this is so much more helpful than cash (where my "cash in wallet" account usually grows to £100 over a month based on withdrawals, and then has to be written down as "misc expense"). And fundamentally, it gives me that link between the action of purchasing something and its consequences. That seems to be what you're lacking at the moment of purchase.

oldtractor

Cut up credit cards. Use cash only. make lists. if its not on the list you dont buy it.dont shop when hungry.

atush

atypical wrote: »

You probably didn't mean this literally, but I read a suggestion somewhere that freezing your card in a block of ice can help resist temptation.

By the time you've hacked it out, or waited for the ice to melt, you're often not interested in buying whatever it was you wanted to.

yes, I did mean it literally- it is there if you need it but it takes time to thaw it out in warm water lol.

I have heard of loits of people doing this actually. Just don't thaw it in the microwave ;-)

GeorgeHowell

bendix wrote: »

I despair when I see posts like this.

If you don't want to spend money, don't spend money. Nobody makes you. It is entirely your freewill.

If you - as an adult - can't control it then I have no sympathy. Children, I can understand, but grown adults. For the love of God, what is wrong with modern society that people need advice on how not to spend money when they walk past a damn shop?

I have a lot of sympathy with that view. However there are a lot of factors at play whereby society is very different from how it was in my youth. That was a time when there were no credit cards, HP (hire-purchase) tended to be treated with caution, the majority of people saved up for things, children in the main had to accept that they could not have everything that they wanted, and the young generally accepted that they built up their standard of living over time and could not expect to have everything now.

We now live in a godless, soulless, consumerist society where the pursuit of wealth and social status is the only purpose in life for many. Even those who put a high priority on family life often seem to think that this should comprise flinging material goods at their children willy-nilly. Modern Britain is an overcrowded, badly governed (by parties of all colours), insecure, ill-at-ease, cultural hotch-potch of a society, with a generally poor quality of life for many millions. The releases that they turn to for solace vary, but alcohol and the pursuit of materialism rank very high. The bullying of schoolchildren who are not wearing the "right" expensive brands encapsulates much of what is wrong with modern Britain.

In my view it is not always so easy for today's youth to operate the disciplines that we largely took for granted because the pressures on them are different and more intense.

Jake'sGran

I think it is easy. I don't want anything except better health and, would you believe, I got a letter on Friday last saying I have been may be chosen for a new procedure which may transform my life. Something to do with NICE if you know who they are. This is a miracle to me. I just can't believe I might be able to travel again.

But, I have never been the kind of person who has to spend except for buying stocks and shares which is why I am reading this forum. I have always made things. Most of the time I don't know how much I have in my purse. When I was working the plan was always to save enough so that I could have enough food, a warm house and a car to get around in when I retired. It's great not to have to worry about money and there is only one way to do it.

omits

Time for BrettMorgan OP to put in an appearance and comment on the advice given! Or have we been wasting our time. For you it's time to get out of denial.