Child maintenance - help!

RAS

This really is not the best forum to discuss this sort of problem. I would suggest that you go over to the families forum where there will be more people who have experience of post-marriage problems. Also talk to the folk on the Child Support forum.

Katherineanton wrote: »

I don't expect a lot, I work full time too but just a little to give the girls some pocket money and pay for their clothes. The CSA have written to me and said he will have to pay £260 per month.

Based on that his take home pay is £1118 per month?

Katherineanton wrote: »

He earns about £35k, so I'm not sure where it all goes?? I just hope it can get sorted amicably.

Which does not tally with this information.

What terrifies me is why oh why you did not sort this out properly when you divorced. You have allowed him to walk all over you and now when you ask for CSA, you are about to buckle again.

The best thing would be for the house to be sold pronto and for you to claim CSA.

Helen42

Hi Cath, I have been chasing my ex for many years now in fact my son is now 22 and a father himself, but I refuse to give in on the money he owes and every now and then when they find him in a new job i get a negliable amount I have fought this for over 18 years and have had rows with the CSA had MPs involved and even last year Nick Clegg wrote to me.

When your ex is saying he cant pay his mortgage etc remember the CSA give him a "protected income" before they take any monies from him. They ask him for income and expenditure and pay slips etc.

My ex and his third wife have put everything into her name so they cant touch his house car or anything. So please dont give in or feel guilty or let him make you feel bad your children are entitled to help in all forms including financial and emotional from their father. I lost my house and have never been able to afford to buy again but it doesnt matter if a house is sold or repossed as long as your children are cared for and happy thats all that matters

I hope it works out for you

Helen42

PS sorry Spelt your name Wrong Kath

bestpud

I can't believe the divorce was settled without a written agreement stating what happens when the house is sold!

Seriously, what solicitor would leave that open?

If you don't claim maintenance then you can go for a share in the house when it does have equity again. As I see it, there is nothing to stop you doing that...?

Did you have any financial settlement?

As for the CM - well, morally he should pay, but I don't buy the idea that new families cannot manage without CM from the former partner tbh. CM is on top of pretty much every benefit going, so you are in no worse a position than any other working family with children - if they manage to provide for their children then you can too.

Not a popular thought, no doubt, and I agree fathers should take responsibility - its just the 'my children will suffer' line that strikes me as a bit far fetched.

You really need legal advice though, as already said.

Katherineanton

Thanks Helen and Bestspud!

The divorce was done "online" without a solicitor. The divorce stated that he would have 50/50 care for the girls, but he hasn't bothered with the youngest at all since March this year and has the other a couple of nights a week.

I am not interested in going for half the equity if/when it is available. I also agree with you Bestspud that I can afford to look after my children on my wage (although its a great deal less than his) but his money will be used to pay for their extras such as bus from school, brownies trips etc etc and their uniform that I would struggle to pay for.

The issue I have is that he keeps saying to me that he will lose the house if I ask him for child maintenance....if it was the other way round, I'd be happy to pay something towards my childrens wellbeing and future. If I left it to him, he'd never offer to pay for anything for them.

All advice is much appreciated.

Katherineanton

Also forgot to say that I do not receive any benefit at all except for the standard monthly child benefit. Guess this is because I work full time. Live with new(ish) partner in his house as I cannot obviously get onto another mortgage, so in real terms, have absolutely nothing to show for my working years!!:rotfl:

bestpud

Katherineanton wrote: »

Also forgot to say that I do not receive any benefit at all except for the standard monthly child benefit. Guess this is because I work full time. Live with new(ish) partner in his house as I cannot obviously get onto another mortgage, so in real terms, have absolutely nothing to show for my working years!!:rotfl:

I wasn't saying you claim benefits as such but rather pointing out there is protection for families on a low income so they are no worse off than any similar family, if that makes sense?

I do think fathers should take responsibility for their children though.

I still think you need to seek advice as it's all a bit grey as far as the house is concerned.

Katherineanton

bestpud wrote: »

I wasn't saying you claim benefits as such but rather pointing out there is protection for families on a low income so they are no worse off than any similar family, if that makes sense?
Yes, of course, I understand

I do think fathers should take responsibility for their children though.
And this is all I am asking - not a fortune, not for him or his new partner to go without or risk losing their house, just a regular contribution towards the girls.

I still think you need to seek advice as it's all a bit grey as far as the house is concerned.

Have spoken to the bank and they have said that I cannot come off the mortgage until it is back in positive equity (mortgage £220k, house recently valued at £200k) or until a big chunk of the mortgage is paid off) otherwise it's just a case of sitting and waiting

FBaby

How can he say that he can't afford the mortgage if his partner contributes towards it? Surely that means he is not paying 100% of the mortgage, so would be no different then if he owned the house with his new partner and both had to contribute towards the mortgage? Would he cry that he can't pay maintenance then because he is contributing towards a mortgage?

It sound to me like he is blackmailing you badly. Surely he has no interest in selling the property himself if it means he also would have to pay half of the negative equity.... if as he says he has no money....

Katherineanton

Thanks FBaby.

His partner does contribute towards the mortgage (she has her own property that she rents out and also gives him the money she makes on this). When I spoke to him about the CSA money, he said that it was "my debt" (the mortgage) and not his new partners, so she should not be made to pay for "my debt" (even though, technically, she lives in "my house" LOL):rotfl:

Feels like I can't win either way. I don't want to fall out with the ex but he feels that he should not pay towards his children as he is paying "our" mortgage.