Any advise for 18 month old sleeping?

go_cat

Hun every time you give into him because he is getting distressed he has won as he has mummys attention it really is being cruel to be kind.

When my DS would wake up crying I would let him cry for about 4 minutes, then go and stroke his back no talking then try and extend it sightly then stroke back if was still crying

I am not saying it was easy because it wasn't you have to switch off because you know they are not ill, hungry etc the crys are purely to get mummy ./ daddy


This from mumsnet may help you
http://www.mumsnet.com/babies/sleep-training-and-controlled-crying

somegem

Thanks Teenie & Gocat...

I'll follow the link & have a read...
and then try and come to a decision..
looks like I am going to have to grow some & brave the screaming for a few nights...

Just hard to believe I am having to put him in a bed at 18months :eek:
My DD was about 2.5 I think...

draytond

Good Luck Somegem, these things can be really hard.

I really do believe that controlled crying is the way to go. It was horrid when we did it with our little girl (I ended up having to stand in the shower so that I couldn't hear her crying) but if you go with 1 minute interval, then double it to two, then 4 etc until it stops you will find it is amazing how quickly it works.

It took us two nights to get our daughter sleeping properly and she has done ever since, and frankly it has been kinder to her in the long term as well.

But can I just put another spanner in the works, when you said about the gate on the door. If you put a gate on your child's door you are telling them they are locked in and if you imagine if you were locked in somewhere, the first thing you would want to do is get out even if you were really comfortable where you were. So if you are going to do commit to controlled crying, and you have to be 100% sure if it is going to work, then you really need to go the whole hog and do it without the gate otherwise you are going to have to go through the whole thing again when you take the gate off.

Good luck and hope it goes well

Dx

runninglea

My wife has just started back at work in the evening and our twins are 18 months old. I now get in and she goes straight out, I put them to bed etc at 7pm.

I think that they have cottoned on to this and have started to scream the place down at about 8pm, the first few days after a few minutes I would go in to get them up.

Now I know they are 'trying it on' and have left them and they have settled back on their own.

Obviously the crying can be determined so if they are in pain etc the cry is different. I think you need to leave the baby to cry and put things around the cot or move them to a bed.

onlyroz

You need a bit of tough love - and it's also time to remove the side of the cot, if your son can climb out. Put down some pillows so that if/when he falls out he won't hurt himself, and put a gate on the door so he can't leave the room.

So for the tough love - you're in for a difficult week but with perseverence it will be worth it. When your son wakes up, go to him, put him back in bed, DO NOT SPEAK TO HIM, wait until he is quiet and then LEAVE for at least 5 minutes.

Repeat until he is asleep, even if you have to do it 100 times.

It'll be tough, and there will be many tears, but it will work in the end.

dondo

I have 2 children and 2 very differnt stories when it comes to sleeping.

Daughter wasn't too much trouble to get to sleep through- we tried the controlled crying and it worked with her

Son was a different matter- at 18 months he still wasn't sleeping through- and it wasn't just him waking lots in the night- it used to take ages to settle him again- my wife and I were like zombies some days. We tried the controlled crying with him and din't work at all. In the end we saw a sleep consulatant which our friends recommednded as had worked wonders on her 2 kids. She really helped and whilst the programme she suggested was sepcific to my son some of the principles may help with you. She said it was all about making his room a lace he was happy to be in- so having a nice wind down at the end of day- bath etc (even getting him dressed after his bath in his room)., nice stories and cuddles etc. in his room. We also stayed in his room quietly until he settled but didn't say anything other than "it's time for sleep now" if he stirred. Over time we moved nearer to the door until we could just put him down and leave. If he stirred in the night then it was similar- just say time for sleep and slowly withdraw from the room

Hope that makes sense!!!

willow_loulou

I agree a lot with the above, take a look at your bedtime routine and try controlled crying. personally Id loose the dummy full stop, I know 18months is still young but the minute (well days after) we lost the dummies at a similar age and it was understood they were gone the sleep issue was solved. It was the dummy falling that woke DS up. It wasnt pretty, it wasnt fun but it was the answer....if only it were the same 15 years later!!!

What ever you do good luck and hope you get some sleep and what ever you do get off the matress its no good for your back x

nikki1520

Does he understand exchange for a reward yet? When my son was under 2, he left all his bottles on the fireplace, for the fairies to take to a little boy who didn't have any- the fairies left him a present in return. He was chuffed to bits

I think maybe, if you can get him to voluntarily give up the dummies, this may help resolve the problem

Sounds like you will have to put him in a bed or take the side off the cot- if he's flinging himself over the top, he's falling from more than his own height- it would be the same as me taking a 6' drop! Much more likely to result in injury than falling out of bed

somegem

Thanks for the replies guys - didn't expect anymore on this thread.

Well, I am still sleeping in his bedroom, I was hoping that he would feel more settled & therefore sleep better (deeper sleep?)
But no, he is very unsettled & I must have to shhh / pat him every hour - certainly seems that way.
In one respect I feel less tired as not having to get out of bed & traipse down the corrider (his room is farthest away from ours) however I do understand this can't go on like this.

Its just the thought of letting him scream & get so upset - because I know he will that turns my stomach !
Plus there's the cot issue.
The sides can't just be taken down on his cot it would have to be changed to a bed & a gate put on his door - arrgghh!! the thought of it....

& yes Willow your right its not good for my back sleeping on a mattress!

Regarding the dummy - I would love to take it away because I know it makes things worse (falling out, trying to find in the dark etc) but he is just too young to understand, I need to leave that till after xmas.

I think Sunday we will have to bite the bullet & convert the bed & gate on the door (we have a full house Fir / Sat so can't disturb everyone with his screaming.

Thanks all for taking the time to reply.

I'll update when I have started the CC'ing

Gem x

dondo

In regards to the dummy and getting rid of- our daughter loved her dummy and it was a real struggle to get her to give it up- in the end we told her about the dummy fairy. She put all of her dummies in an enmvelope and posted them to the dummy fairy (or as it's more commonly klnown my wife's work) and the dummy fairy sent her some money for them.

Adnittedly 18 months maybe bit young to try this (she was over 2 when we did this) but just thought I'd share