Help?!

Tropez

Bambi1989 wrote: »

Thank you she really is a lovely doctor, I am generally not a bad person otherwise I help to care for my mother and I volunteer at CAB but I just feel whatever I do I am still a really bad and horrible person, I explained it to my partner as I put myself on the same level as someone that has murdered.

You're not a bad person as it is. A bad person would feel no regret for what they did, whereas you clearly do and your action is incomparable to a murderer or any other violent criminal.

You simply made a mistake, for which you now feel immense remorse. It doesn't reflect badly on who you are.

sukysue

Oh m'dear you really need to take a deep breath and calm down. What in all reality you did wasn't nice but it isn't the end of the world you have lost all perspective on this and are getting ahead of yourself. I do hope your gp can talk some sense in to you .Listen we all of us do things we are ashamed of and bitterly regret but we are not superhuman just mere mortals, good luck and forgive yourself for goodness sake!

Bambi1989

Tropez wrote: »

You're not a bad person as it is. A bad person would feel no regret for what they did, whereas you clearly do and your action is incomparable to a murderer or any other violent criminal.

You simply made a mistake, for which you now feel immense remorse. It doesn't reflect badly on who you are.

Thank you for your help, hopefully the doctor will be able to sort me out tomorrow I just hope it works. Thank you again

Bambi1989

sukysue wrote: »

Oh m'dear you really need to take a deep breath and calm down. What in all reality you did wasn't nice but it isn't the end of the world you have lost all perspective on this and are getting ahead of yourself. I do hope your gp can talk some sense in to you .Listen we all of us do things we are ashamed of and bitterly regret but we are not superhuman just mere mortals, good luck and forgive yourself for goodness sake!

Thank you, I know it sounds silly to not forgive myself when I have been forgiven but it's just how I am. Thank you for the reply.

sukysue

My pleasure, just try and chill a little, you were sounding almost suicidal, don't be so hard on yourself and try to switch positions if it were your partner would you want him to be feeling like this? I bet you wouldn't and you would want him to feel better, well that's how your partner is feeling about you , forgive yourself for him as well as yourself.

Bambi1989

sukysue wrote: »

My pleasure, just try and chill a little, you were sounding almost suicidal, don't be so hard on yourself and try to switch positions if it were your partner would you want him to be feeling like this? I bet you wouldn't and you would want him to feel better, well that's how your partner is feeling about you , forgive yourself for him as well as yourself.

A couple of weeks I would say I was pretty suicidal (only a if I was to die then people would be able to move on -not I will kill myself so people can move on if you see what I mean) but now I have this fear of dying etc which is making me so much worse.

halibut2209

Not often that a thread "gets to me", but this one really does. I can only reiterate what the other posters have put.

You have suffered terribly and I can't begin to imagine how down you are feeling.

Maybe seeing a counsellor might help you to give you back the confidence to realise that you DO deserve happiness

Bambi1989

halibut2209 wrote: »

Not often that a thread "gets to me", but this one really does. I can only reiterate what the other posters have put.

You have suffered terribly and I can't begin to imagine how down you are feeling.

Maybe seeing a counsellor might help you to give you back the confidence to realise that you DO deserve happiness

Thank you it does mean a lot, sorry to ask but could you explain the "gets to me" part?

halibut2209

"gets to me" as in emotionally

Maryland_Cookie

Bambi, didn't want to read and run, but sending you big hugs. Reading your post took me back to a time when I felt EXACTLY the same as you, in fact I could have written your post. I felt as if I was cut I wouldn't bleed blood, but horrible black nastiness because I felt like such a bad horrible person. I couldn't think there was anything good about me at all....... It's difficult to put into words how bad/low I felt, but I also felt I would be better off dead. I just wanted to reassure you that you WILL feel better and you WILL get out of this black hole your in. Take care of yourself. I found talking to my mum and sister really helped, although it was hard to do, and slowly but surely life felt like it was worth living. Looking back, I can't believe I felt so bad, and how far I've come, and you will feel the same too xx