His ex at our wedding?

MariaKaria

I think I would keep the ceremony to family and friends that you both wish to be there, I guess inviting her and the other mutual friends only to the evening party would be ok, this way nobody is pushed out and you still only have those you want at the actual ceremony.
If its anything like my wedding the evening generally ends up with so many people there you probably would forget shes even in the room!

Snowfall

mildred1978 wrote: »

I'm just trying to tot up the number of my exes that came to our wedding. Definitely 3, if not 4. And one of those was my first love.

I presume there were a mixture of yours and his invited? Why did you decide to invite them?

mildred1978

Snowfall wrote: »

I presume there were a mixture of yours and his invited? Why did you decide to invite them?

No, just mine.

My first love is still a very good friend of mine so I wanted him there.

Same with someone I briefly dated in my 20s. We didn't work as a couple but got on brilliantly as friends. I almost had him as my best [STRIKE]wo[/STRIKE]man

Another 2 were invited to the evening do, because we still spoke and they were part of the main circle of friends from particular times in my life.

My OH doesn't speak to his exes, so it wasn't going to be an issue from his side, and he had no issue with me inviting mine.

BugglyB

Omg! If I was you I would be telling my partner in no uncertain terms this lady is NOT coming to our wedding!

Your wedding is for people to celebrate your union! People who are happy you are together and wishing you a lifetime of happiness and fulfillment! Not people who at half a chance would nick your groom!

No ifs, not buts, no such thing as 'can't not invite'.

I repeat: omg!

Snowfall

The more I think about it, the more I think that once I've voiced it, OH is not going to react badly to me telling him certain people aren't invited. I'm sure he'll understand that, like you're all saying, we should invited just people who are happy for us and who we really want to celebrate our day with, not just old friend that might be offended if not invited. At the end of the day, weddings are expensive, and there are ALWAYS going to be people who are annoyed with not being invited, or their friend/bf/gf not being invited etc.

We plan to have a marquee wedding, but we can cut numbers and save money too.

Thanks everyone

rachbc

my first reacrtion is no chance - then I remembered hubbys first gf came to our evening do and we went to her wedding... if it had made me in anyway uncomfortable then he wouldn't have pushed it at all.

Snowfall

rachbc wrote: »

my first reacrtion is no chance - then I remembered hubbys first gf came to our evening do and we went to her wedding... if it had made me in anyway uncomfortable then he wouldn't have pushed it at all.

I also have an ex in my group of friends. Again, mutual in that we all went to school together, but more my group rather than my OH's. I have to say that I've only kept a small number of close-knit friends from school, but would consider inviting some others to the evening party, if we end up having a sort of 'B group' friends list for the evening bit. They may not be part of my life so much now, but would like to keep in touch with them as they meant a lot to me in the past. My ex (my 'first love') would be in this category. I left them all off due to numbers, but I guess we need to make a list with EVERYONE included, and then divide into priority groups, and not-so priority group, and see how many we can really invite.

Limana68

If I thought that my ex coming to the wedding was going to make my fiancee uncomfortable then I would not be inviting her-end of!
After all its YOUR day!

Snowfall

Limana68 wrote: »

If I thought that my ex coming to the wedding was going to make my fiancee uncomfortable then I would not be inviting her-end of!
After all its YOUR day!

Well, it is *our day, so I would want to have the people he wants to be there....but only if they're really important, it seems heh

abbecer

I am friends with most of my hubby's ex's and him with mine. Before fully reading your post I thought it was just a case of jealousy and not wanting ex involved. After reading your post I think she has no right to be at your wedding with her disrespectful behaviour. If your husband to be would rather upset you than her I'd be wondering if we should be getting married at all. Hope you get it sorted out. xxx