Should I overpay on my partners mortgage ... Yay or Nay??

DarlingBuds

originator wrote: »

Budsy Are you mad? or just blinded by love?

Probably both! He's not a boy either he's 43 and I'm 10 yrs younger! lol

Maybe I just hope nothing will go wrong......

Old_Git

what is the interest rate on the mortgage and what rate would you get if you saved .
My mortgage is 0.68% so it makes more sense for me to save.

DarlingBuds

Old_Git wrote: »

what is the interest rate on the mortgage and what rate would you get if you saved .
My mortgage is 0.68% so it makes more sense for me to save.

It's still very high at 4% as when we moved here 4 1/2 yrs ago, he told me to 'leave the mortgage to him'.
I did and he missed all the important deadlines and for 2 years he kept the statements away from me and instead of paying 900 a month, we were paying £1280 for 2 years!!!!!!!!!!:eek:

Cat695

Darlingbuds......I'm younger than your fella (but older than you)....I am completly debt free and earn a pretty decent wage....I wouldn't want any of your cash and IF we bought a house together WE can have it in OUR names......oh and I'm single.....so even though this isn't helping you in anyway...it should make you think.

DarlingBuds

Cat695 wrote: »

Darlingbuds......I'm younger than your fella (but older than you)....I am completly debt free and earn a pretty decent wage....I wouldn't want any of your cash and IF we bought a house together WE can have it in OUR names......oh and I'm single.....so even though this isn't helping you in anyway...it should make you think.

Ha, ha! I'll bear you in mind for future reference!!
I suppose when you put it like that it's obvious that I shouldn't jump into this.
Trouble is, I wear my heart on my sleeve and always want to 'fix' things for everyone. But I'm taking all your comments on board and do feel that I need to put the money aside for the time being and at least have something for myself to fall back on xx

Lois_E

DarlingBuds wrote: »

We have spoken about this before and said it might throw up issues with his mortgage company........?

He said today that he would always pay me the money back and never let me live without a home. I want to trust him, but like many people say, you just never know later on......

What issues with his mortgage company? That doesn't make any sense to me.

As for promising to pay money back to you if you were to split up, that sounds like something he hasn't really thought through, at best. Splitting up is an expensive business, so where would he suddenly find a whole load of extra cash to pay you with at a time like that? He may be a lovely guy who genuinely means what he is saying, right now while the relationship is still going strong. However, if you did ever split up, I bet he'd find there were all sorts of reasons and changed circumstances etc that meant he couldn't give you anything like as much as your share. If he turned out anything like my X, he'd say "I know I said I'd make sure you weren't without a home, but I need to <spend money on blah blah blah> so I can't possibly give you more than <pitiful amount>. But you'll be OK, because look, the child maintenance I pay you will be enough, with your salary, for you to rent somewhere." Or if it was you that chose to end it, perhaps "You're the one who wants to end it. This isn't my choice. Why should I give you loads of my money just so you can leave me?"

I really hope your relationship is happy for the rest of your lives, and none of this ever becomes relevant. But nobody knows what is round the corner, and unmarried partners are vulnerable, so please make sure you're protected. And another thing, have you made wills? Would the house come to you if he died?

sharnad

DarlingBuds wrote: »

I've been with my partner 11 years, not married and have been living together for 9.

I want to help him become mortgage free asap and want to start overpaying his mortgage every month.

I'm not on the deeds and it's HIS mortgage. Do you think this is a wise move?

I'm only asking as I feel that sometimes his heart isn't in it and he doesn't seem bothered/interested in the fact we could save so much.

I took all his credit card balances off him about 2 years ago to my 0% cards and have paid off about £5K, with £6K left.

What are your thoughts? To pay off, or not to pay off...??

Get your name on it if your going to be paying it off

Old_Git

you have taken all his credit card debts and put them onto your 0% card .Good move but you are paying the debt not him . He should have a direct debit or standing order set up to pay you .You shouldn't be out off pocket because off his bills.
If he is as bad with finances as you suggest then you need his finances in joint names (I said his finances not yours lol) so you can help him cut off debt.
Oh yes you hold the trump card in all this .Tell him he has to agree to A B C plan or there is no nookie LOL .

One other thing, what happens if he dies or has to go into care ,your home is his property not yours .

RosieTiger

The great thing about this forum is that you can ask questions like this which would be very awkward to ask your family and friends. Take the advice thats been given - your totally exposed.

Sad thing about any relationships that come to an end, is that all of the promises ever made in the world are sadly not worth a bean when it comes down to cold hard cash.

Hopefully it will always be great for you - but, if it doesn't what then? Reality is that in the time you have been together you have bought the home you live in together, but he has it all in his name. Complications with the mortgage - why would a lender have any issues with an extra person to come to for the money?? It's nonsense.

Start saving your own money and only put that against his debt when the ownership of the property has been sorted out.

RosieTiger

Darling Buds, I have just re read this full posting and shared with Mrs RT.

On reflection, I began to wonder whether this was a wind up? Then we concluded that it's not. But, if you are paying almost all of your salary into covering this amount of the bills, when he earns 3 x more than you then your mad!

Please do something about it for your own good.

Exactly what is he doing with his cash!