Feeling guilty :(

Nara

My daughter has just started in Year 1 and will be 6 in March 2012.

I'm feeling guilty as its really not going well, I know its only been a week back at school but the massive difference between reception year and year 1 seems to have hit her hard.

Every morning she is clinging to me, and I mean really clinging!! She has a new teacher who she tells me she hates (i have heard other parents talking about her and saying shes no where near as nice as the last teacher they had) she does seem a bit standoffish to me but i guess i don't have much experience with other teachers to compare her too!
This morning I had to take my daughter over to her for her to pry her off me so i could leave? what else am i meant to do? yank her off me and run out of the classroom!
The new teacher doesn't give stickers as rewards for being good like the old teacher did which i thought was a nice idea for the kids.

My daughter is now saying she hates school, and when is it the weekend? and came out of school today and just burst into tears
She complains that the new classroom doesnt have any toys in it as her reception class did, I have tried to explain that learning will be different this year and its more serious instead of mainly play learning.

I feel so bad for her, she is so tired and emotional trying to get used to it and cope with a whole different experience, the only constant she has is her friends in her class ( who i might add seem to have had no problems settleing back in from what i have seen )

I was hoping to start working more hours this year and maybe my DD being able to go to the after school club a couple of days a week but might have to put that on hold.

Any advice from anyone who has been through this would be great. I know its early days but I hate the guilt of leaving her crying in the classroom as i have to run off has me in tears, and it seems even worse then when she first started school!

balletshoes

You just have to persevere - yes, its really hard when they are being like limpets in the morning, but you said it yourself, its only been a week. She may take a while to settle into the more formal year of school, but she'll get there. Just listen to her, soothe her, and next morning, keep to the school routine.

My DD had her first and only (so far) major wobble about school last year when she started year 5, it honestly took her until nearly October half term to settle in (she had sailed through every new school year up til then).

tw1nklestar

Does she settle as soon as you have gone..?? When we have children who have some wobbles in the first few days we give the parents a call to let them know they have settled and take lots of photographs of the child working and playing throughout the day. At the end of the day we have a chat with the parent and the child sharing the photographs - that way the parents feel happier knowing that the child has settled without worrying all of the day and the parents can talk to child about the activities they have done that day at home as they have seen the photographs.

It may take a couple of weeks to get used the reality that it is a more formal classroom but there should still be areas of provision set up in the class for less formal learning.

Good luck and hope all goes well

pigpen

She will be fine in a few weeks.. they just have to get used to it.. my 6 y/o is shattered too and ccrying for no reason.

3v3

I had a daughter like that - oh boy did I feel bad! Clinging, crying, sobbing - the works! Eventually, she got over it (and so did I!).

The teacher may not give stickers - but *you* can

Kay_Peel

Personally, I wouldn't reinforce her feelings by showing how much guilt and distress you yourself feel. You know, in your heart of hearts, that this time next year, or even next week, she'll be a fully adjusted Big Girl. She's with friends at least and I bet that she doesn't cry all day.

Put a big smile on your face tomorrow. Take no nonsense. Sing! Talk about something else. And when you get to the school gates say: 'I'll race you to the door'. (Only kidding!) Prise her from you, give her a kiss, turn around and walk off with a spring in your step. Don't look back.

As long as you cling, get upset and dread the routine, she's going to take her cue from you. Act positively, kindly and firmly (ie like the teacher) and she'll come round.


I had the opposite problem. Both my children ran to their new teacher and never looked back, leaving me blubbing.:D I suppose I should have patted myself on the back for preparing them so well.
Too blimmin' well! :rotfl:It was embarressing when all the other children were clinging to their mums and dads and grandmas.:o



Good luck!

John_3:16

Could she not have a friend around to play from the class?

moomoomama27

I wouldn't worry too much, often the children who have a few morning wobbles in the start are happy as Larry within the first couple of weeks! It is a big change from receptio to yr 1, the whole routine changes, as does the method of learning! Coupled with the fact they've had a long break away from the school routine makes everything seem stressful for them, she'll settle in quick! Just be positive with her.

mirrorimage0

hi, i know what your feeling, i had the same thing with my youngest boy, its horrible isnt it, we even used to have the headmistress coming out to take him off me as i was prying him off the school fence.

both my children are bubbly and outgoing my youngest just hates school. the only thing that really helped my son was putting him into the breakfast club, he is in yr 5 now and still goes. he loved the fact of getting there before anyone else and once he had eaten he could play games for a bit. it really worked for him so you just have to try and find something that works for your child.

i hope it gets better for you both soon. x

Desperado99

Been there!!!

Except DD was in year 2. She hated the teacher and had to be bodily shoved into school by me most mornings for the whole year (sorry). Although, I think the attention she got from her friends every morning may have exaserbated the situation (lots of hugs etc). Hopefully, your situation might just be about the transition from reception to year 1 and she may well settle down after a while.

Hope things improve for you both soon

*Louise*

Nara wrote: »

This morning I had to take my daughter over to her for her to pry her off me so i could leave? what else am i meant to do? yank her off me and run out of the classroom!
The new teacher doesn't give stickers as rewards for being good like the old teacher did which i thought was a nice idea for the kids.

Take your own- one for in the morning if she goes in without a fuss, another when she comes out. Maybe think of a little reward for her as well if she earns X amount of stickers?

It will pass and she will settle in eventually. Has she said exactly what it is she doesn't like? (As opposed to just stating she hates it but no definite reason, other than lack of toys)

Also...how about roleplaying 'school' at home? She could be the teacher and you could be the pupil and making a big deal about how much you like it and how it's great learning to read etc.:rotfl: