Feeling guilty :(

[Deleted User]

I would like to offer my sympathies to the OP and her daughter and really hope things settle down over the coming weeks. Its the first week back and I know my kids are tired

My eldest started reception this week and my youngest went back to her nursery routine, DD was very tired by thursday, but DS wasn't as hes only doing afternoons (2hrs a day) of reception at the moment, he goes full time on the 19th. Due to the new regs of all kids go full time, they have staggered 8 days of AM starts for the younger ones and PM starts for the older ones, the full time on the 19th unless you specifiy otherwise.

I lthink he's more than ready and at the moment it feels strange having him home every morning, but its also nice to enjoy this last few days before he's at FT school FOREVER!!!!

I would like to thank the OP and this thread as my boy has come home yesterday and today with a smiley sticker on his jumper and we didn't know what for or what to do with them. So for the time being we put them on his wardrobe. Just now i've made up smiley charts for him and his sister (she didnt want to be left out) and the rules are after 5 smileys gets either a coin in money box, a sweet or train shed time when 20 smileys is filled they get a toy.

Our DS had great delight in explaining the rules to his sis, who wasn't quite on the balll with the rules, but i think DS will run with this realy well and i wouldn't have thought of it, so a BIG THANKS!!!

OP I really hope things settle down and this thread helps to reassure you.

Huggles.

shirlgirl2004

I just wanted to make sure you know that she doesn't have to go to school. You could educate her at home. Not all children are ready for the regime of full time school. Maybe flexi-school if the school is willing? I'm just making sure you know there are other options. You'd be surprised how many people don't realise. You don't have to follow the national curriculumn or do set hours although working can be harder. I hope she settles soon whatever you decide to do.

msb5262

Hi OP,

Sorry to hear everything is so difficult.

I think you should make an appointment to see the class teacher or if you prefer, the headteacher about this.

Your daughter is getting more and more upset, you're feeling more and more anxious, and each time it happens there's more stress.

The school should be able to help handle the situation in a way which improves things - for instance, they might arrange for your daughter to come into school a few minutes early and help with something in the classroom...or the teacher may not have understood how worried your daughter is about everything and she might be a bit more forthcoming with praise, stickers etc when she catches on.

Please think about arranging to go into school to discuss this ASAP - I'm a teacher and I would be horrified if one of my children was going through this and I didn't know. Work with the school to change this situation; it's really important to break the cycle, both for your daughter's sake and for your sake.

Best wishes and please keep us updated

MsB

jellyhead

Nara wrote: »

I really hope she settles in a bit, a letter came home today saying the kids aren't to take toys into school, which put a downer on my idea of letting her take a little toy in next week to help comfort as it may help.

They aren't allowed toys in the playground here, but the year 1 teacher did show and tell. The things had to stay in a box in the classroom during the day, then at the end the child could tell the class about what they'd brought in. Kids brought in their favourite toy, and a toy they'd got from a gift shop on a day out, a lego model they had built ... anything really.

My boy is 6 and is the youngest in his class. I don't want him to take cuddly toys into school anymore, because the other boys are starting to laugh at his babyish ways. So, what I've done is put the cuddly toy in my bag, then I bring it with me for home time (and give it to him in the bike shed when the big boys have gone and it's only his female friends that he's playing with). You could give whatever it it to your daughter straight away though

Also, do they line up? instead of yours clinging on and not being in the line perhaps she could go at the front so she is already separated from you when the bell goes, then you blow her a kiss? Maybe the teacher would help out, and keep her talking at the front of the line, or give her a job to do such as carrying something for the teacher?

When my eldest was little a girl in his class had special sandwiches, to remind her of how much her mum loved her. It was like a cookie-cutter which cut the sandwiches into heart shapes and made an 'I love you' indentation on the bread. I thought that was very sweet. My youngest has dinosaur shaped sandwiches, the cutter was from poundland but I've seen them in the betterware catalogue.

Back to the subject of toys, my eldest had a zip-pull (like a keyring, you don't really see them nowadays) so he could still play with Pikachu, but it was stuck onto his zip.

Newly_retired

Good grief!
I was never taken to school in those far off days. I walked with big sister then by myself. So no mum to cling to.
My daughter works so her child gets dropped off at the childminder's who then takes her to schoo. No problems there.

I don't want to sound cruel, but maybe your presence is making it worse for your daughter?
Is there another parent who could take your daughter in once or twice a week, or everyday for a short while, so the parting is not at the school door? Then your daughter will be pleased to see her friend, rather than thinking about the teacher.

beedeedee

Newly retired might have a good point.
Try and think of someone else who could take her a couple of times next week. What would happen if you couldn't take her in ? Would she stay off school?

Nara

Hi all, thanks again for advice

Yes I was thinking that maybe her dad could take her in one day next week to see if its any easier for him (and her!)

My boss has asked me to work 3 days a week starting soon which means my mum would pick her up one day and she would go to the after school club the other 2 days, and the holiday club in the holidays so she needs to get used to being without me.

We are very close, maybe too much as she spends most of her time with me and has done since she was born. Our parents dont live close by so she doesn't stay with them that often. It's only school that is a problem tho she doesn't seem to mind being left at a friends house or with members of the family.
Shes looking forward to after school club as she really enjoys it, she just hates school!
She was never this bad in Reception, honestly now all she talks about last week and this weekend is how much she hates school, hates her teacher, hates the classroom and how its boring.
I will see how we go tomorro and then maybe talk to the teacher if nothing improves.