Reporting Abuse

McKneff

I meant butt out of ring the authorities, an anonymous letter will do nothing as will ringing and giving your name, and saying I heard!!!

What I meant is encourage the mother or daughter to do the reporting, nothing will be done without an official complaint from them.

Absolutely nothing.

You must be careful what you say anyway, if you label this man a peado and if it comes to it Mother/daughter (because of the way they feel at the moment) may just deny everything to protect themselves and your in the proverbial, up to your neck.

peachyprice

ChasingButterflies wrote: »

If the child involved isn't getting the support she needs from her mother (which I can sympathise with) please let her know that you are there for her.

^^^^^^

This bit, is THE most portant bit of all OP.

If the child's mother is trying to sweep it under the carpet you need to let the daughter know that you will be there for her, no matter what.

Perhaps eventually that will give her the strength to report her abuser, but her own wellbeing comes first and foremost at this moment in time.

flowerpower11

I have not called the NSPCC yet as I tried to yet in touch with my friend last night with no luck, I think she is avoiding me and burying her head in the sand.

My friend lives out of the area now and we talk but don't see each other very much so its hard for me to approah her daughter and offer her a friendly ear if she needs it, I feel quite useless at the moment.

Kay_Peel

You must be tormented by this dilemma.

What concerns me is that this man shows all the signs of a predatory !!!!!phile. He shacks up with someone who has a child of the 'right age' and so gains access to other children. He works in a school. He grooms the children - possibly waiting months or years before he strikes. In the meantime he takes loads of photographs of the object of his fantasies.

The young victim is suffering and needs help. She has created log-in details for Childline. She left the log-in details for her mother to find, possibly, and has now unburdened herself to her mother. The mother's first thought is to save her own skin and disregard the crimes against her daughter. She will save her skin rather than prevent the !!!!!phile from damaging other children. She will avoid you because you will tell her the right thing to do - to seek help for her daughter in the first instance, one step at a time.

Personally, I would go online and report anonymously to Crimestoppers that a !!!!!phile is working at a particular school. He has sexually assaulted a girl aged xx years, has girls to stay at the house and photographs them. At least it will be in black and white and recorded. (I wouldn't phone them and be fobbed off). In the future that little piece of information could prove invaluable. It will back-up the witnesses who have the support and courage to come forward in the future.
That's as much as you can do, I feel.

What a burden to have! Good luck.

flowerpower11

Thanks for your message Kay, I don't know that he has taken photos, I just know that he liked his camera and think its a possibility, if he were investigated then I'm sure they would find evidence.

I am really angry that my friend is looking after herself in all this instead of thinking of her daughter and others but feel it is up to her to involve her family, all I could do is report him with without giving her details.

chiska

Clearly the daughter is troubled by this as she herself had the Childline number recently and I do feel that this is what you need to press home to your friend more than anything. The daughter is wanting help NOW and as much as I feel you should report this to the relevant authorities without naming your friend's daughter the most paramount thing is to ensure as best as you can that your friend is there for her daughter.

myonlysunshine

I feel so sad for the daughter...it must have took a lot of courage to tell her mum what had happened...and look at what her mums done..ABSOLUTELY NOTHING :mad:

What sort of parent can bury their head in the sand about someone abusing their child? As a mum to two sons I would do anything to protect my kids as most other parents would too...

OP, i hope that this is resolved as pain free as possible for your 'friend's' daughter....with that muppet getting everything he deserves.

stormbreaker

Call 'Crimestoppers' back. They will not be able to act on the information but it will be treated as intelligence. Stick to what you know. Give full details of the male , current address, where he is employed. Years the possible abuse happened, address where is happened. It does not need the other Mother to phone although would build a bigger picture. You are phoning as a 3rd party, the intelligence is graded in that way and would be for the mother to as she does not know first hand what happened, only the child and the perpetrator and perhaps the other family members in the household if they witnessed it 1st hand.
There may be other reports on this male.

flowerpower11

Stormbreaker - I will, I would rather talk to my friend again first as a statement from her would carry more weight. I understand about the information grades having spoken to someone today about it and think that although its only 3rd hand information it would get taken into consideration. Would it be better for me to give my details, maybe that would help to verify what I am saying or is that a bad idea?

flowerpower11

myonlysunshine wrote: »

I feel so sad for the daughter...it must have took a lot of courage to tell her mum what had happened...and look at what her mums done..ABSOLUTELY NOTHING :mad:

What sort of parent can bury their head in the sand about someone abusing their child? As a mum to two sons I would do anything to protect my kids as most other parents would too...

OP, i hope that this is resolved as pain free as possible for your 'friend's' daughter....with that muppet getting everything he deserves.

Thats how I feel, I am very frustrated by this and am hoping to change her mind as she is not seeing the bigger picture here.