My Brother is in a mess and has nothing to show for it

liuhut

Thanks for your input everyone. My dad spoke to him the other night and he just denied everthing. As I predicted he then called me and promised me that he is not in debt, Yeah right. Anyway he was really nasty about my mum and really does not appriciate what she was trying to do for him. She has now decided that he needs to pay £40 a week and is going to let him get on with it. He def has not had his lightbulb moment, he has just been and bought a brand new Sat Nav for his van - explained an A-Z is just as good!! but he insists he needs one.
From whats been said I think he has paid his OD off with the money he had from my gran and my mum has hinted that bank charges can be claimed back. She told me that she would do it for him and I said NO WAY, he has to do it for himself.
Going to keep an eye out for depression but feel I cannot do anymore for him at the moment. Tanks for everyones help and ideas - I really appriciated it and it made me look at this differently.

liuhut

Just found my thread that I did 18 months ago...it's took this long to get to the bottom of whats been going on....turns out it was/is drugs and there is a lot more debt than we ever imagined....to the wrong type of people as well.

Trying to help him but not sure how tbh, did speak to a support group the other day which was useful but he had lied to us for so long I just dont know what the truth is anymore.
I cannot beleive it has taken so long

SouthernSoftie

Oh dear, so sorry to hear this. It's bad enough having debts but when someone has a drug problem as well then it's going to be hard on everyone involved.
He is so lucky to have a family who understands, and maybe one day he will realise this.

liuhut

Thank you, Its been a really tough couple of days.
I want to help but I dont really know where to start and what to do. He owes over £30k but cannot start to help him deal with this until he gets the additction under control.
I suppose I am still in shock and he had people threatening to harm the family and I am so upset about that, just look at the kids and shudder.
My mums a complete mess as well and keeps thinking all sorts of scary things

angelflower_2

hugs your way. It will be challenging times ahead but it seems like there is a bit more of a revelation now so hopefully this is the start of things improving.

RAS

Hi

I have no personal experience of this but I do know that other folk have found it really useful to join one of the family support groups for those whose children/siblings have addictions. If your brother is dealing with his addiction, his advisors may well have contacts, but otherwise your doctors may have information about local groups.