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Breathing out, I smile – Bringing ZEN to the life of a DFW

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  • fedupandskint
    fedupandskint Posts: 10,358 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Happy new diary Marru, with a lot of ZEN

    Sparkles xx
    final unsecured debt to repay currently £8333
    Proud to be Dealing With my Debt
    DFW Nerd 1154 Long Haul 155
  • Marru
    Marru Posts: 4,126 Forumite
    Oooh - thank you for the magnificent cake. :T And thank you so much all for popping in :j

    Today Ms Calm was put to the test. I managed to step on my manager's toes so I got a very not nice email from her. This is typical. I would rather have these things face to face and not in an email. Especially considering that we only sit two tables away from each other.

    So while sitting there fighting against tears I acted instead of reacted like I would have in the past.

    Step one:
    - Ask for help: I emailed my colleague next to me and got immediate support
    - I put a post into Matrix thread which allowed me to put the situation into neutral words and also got support from others

    Step two:
    - Step away: I went and did something positive i.e. coffee round

    Step three:
    - Get on with it: I told myself that this is nothing in the big scheme of things and got on with my work as normal

    Step four:
    - Create plan B: If I get my promotion I will get another manager, if I don't get the promotion I can talk about these emails with my present one in calm and whole hearted manner during our annual appraisal if/when it happens. This is to stop the situation to fester.

    I found out today that my application has been received and forwarded to the new line manager. I have everything crossed that some news (either way) will come soon.

    And the best bit is that even than I am tired I am not as tired as I am normally. I have actually been working on my personal accounts but now is time for food and stitching (in this order).
    "Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end."

  • savingwannabe
    savingwannabe Posts: 16,616 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts
    Very positive and a very good strategy Marru.

    You are right to focus on happy things- Sometimes it is just their problem (well most of the time) try not to be sucked in by their negative energy and always think about nice things you can do to compensate in the evening to make up for it. That is how i cope at work. Well done.
    Aiming for a minimal spend 2022
  • 3Dogs
    3Dogs Posts: 14,092 Forumite
    Lovely new diary ................... with cake too :j :j :j

    Let's have a drink to wash the cake down eh?

    champagne-tasting.jpg?1290009651 or this hot-chocolate-su-1571510-l.jpg
    :( Mr 3Dogs 3-7-12 :( 3Dogs'Mam 31-3-13 :(
  • boultdj
    boultdj Posts: 5,333 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Positive vibe's being sent for the promotion.
    £71.93/ £180.00
  • Aesop
    Aesop Posts: 23,773 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Free Listing this weekend on ebay too Marru

    Re : Free listings weekend ~ please read
    Saturday 3 and Sunday 4 September 2011
    £0.00 insertion fees*
    Valid for up to 100 auction-style listings with a starting price of £1 or more
    All other eBay.co.uk selling fees will still apply
    Applies to items listed with Quick Sell or Advanced Sell (Sell Your Item) forms or the eBay applications for iPhone, iPad or Android
    Items listed using professional tools are excluded
    Open to all users registered on eBay.co.uk (except business sellers and below standard sellers)

    The T&Cs Have changed, Ebay have limited the free insertions to 100 items
  • Marru
    Marru Posts: 4,126 Forumite
    edited 2 September 2011 at 7:25PM
    catmilk.gif

    When I am watching cats I am always wondering what amazing secrets they must hold. They seem to have it all sussed out. When they sleep they are fully relaxed, when they move they move softly and purposefully. When they wake up they stretch, sit down for a moment and only then start moving. And if any animal can meditate I think the cats are masters of this. I actually believe that when dogs are very much creatures of here and now, cats travel during their meditative states into other dimensions.

    Hence I was delighted to find this little cat from the local rescue.


    Kanya.jpg



    She wakes up purring and she has gracefulness that is just enviable. She knows how to play and she knows how to rest. However I only recently have been able to let her out and a completely different side is emerging. She is a hunter and a good one. Only on the second time she was out she brought me a present. A tiny dead mouse. I ousted both of them out of the house and only after the mouse had been consumed Kitty was allowed back in.

    This was repeated couple of nights back but this time the mouse was not dead. And the cat went around my dining room chasing the mouse and so did I. I wanted them both out. I could have rescued the mouse but I didn’t know how much it was harmed already so thought that best result would have been quick death. However it wasn’t quick as we had a real cat and mouse chase here including going up the curtains (both of them) :eek:. Finally after I got them chased to the conservatory the inevitable happened.

    So what ever it is that I am learning from my furry mentor I don’t think I am taking on playing with my food… :rotfl:

    ETA: thanks for that Aesop - I have a little fleabay challenge with my colleague for this weekend. Aim is for both of us to list at least 5 items
    "Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end."

  • savingwannabe
    savingwannabe Posts: 16,616 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts
    Beautiful cat. I would be scared if a mouse climbed my curtains. You are v brave Marru.
    Aiming for a minimal spend 2022
  • 3Dogs
    3Dogs Posts: 14,092 Forumite
    Marru wrote: »
    catmilk.gif
    Hence I was delighted to find this little cat from the local rescue.


    Kanya.jpg


    She is a beauty Marru and I am sure that she is very glad you have her or should that be very glad she has you - I am never too sure with cats ;)
    :( Mr 3Dogs 3-7-12 :( 3Dogs'Mam 31-3-13 :(
  • Marru
    Marru Posts: 4,126 Forumite
    edited 6 September 2011 at 7:28PM
    Bit of a funny day here. Ex was supposed to take DD out but he had mixed up the days and didn’t turn up. So he has been bombarding me with text messages to take her out today but I have said no. The contact centre is not open tomorrow and I am refusing to do the handover back without that. Sounds harsh but he is the type of person that given an inch goes for a mile.

    So we have been browsing the local craft centre. Had nice lunch in the tea rooms there and snoop around the shops. I came out with only a bar of soap and DD with small bag of sweets. Lovely place, definitely will visit there again. However now I feel rather tired despite having nothing really to show for it (apart from tidy hallway).

    The subject for today is to write down our aspirations and instead of me reinventing the wheel have a look at THIS (scroll down and click link: Dreamlining calculator and worksheet) and then list five things you would like to have, five things you would like to be and five things you would like to do. The time line can be anything from 3 months to 5 years.


    When I did this couple of months ago my list looked like this:

    To have:
    - House with stables
    - Housekeeper
    - Cats
    - Dogs
    - Horses

    To be:
    - Animal communicator
    - Slim
    - Organised
    - Groomed
    - Singer

    To do:
    - Training my dogs
    - Learn to ride properly
    - Volunteer in animal shelters
    - Promoting animal welfare
    - Find balance between activity and rest

    It hasn’t really changed that much so I will keep it as it is for now. So what does your list look like?
    "Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end."

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