What food/drink should I take to my sisters?

ska_lover

Its a nice idea for visitors to provide some of the food, and even nicer for them to offer to cook it sometimes.

I love having people around, but I don't really like cooking for people regularly, because while I am in the kitchen cooking, I am not spending any time with any one, or seeing anyone..it's almost like being a slave, everyone else having fun apart from you! Sometimes an odd member of the family venture out to see if any help is needed but mainly you are stuck in the kitchen on your own.. Maybe I am just a grinch! haha

picnmix

I come from a family where it is the norm to take goodies with you, tea bags, coffee, milk, choccies etc I take stuff for the kids and defo take their cereal. We always take the hosts out for a meal or a takeaway if more appropriate, in fact with my side of the family it's generally war regarding who is paying, we all always want to pay and treat the people we are catching up with. My husband can't get this head around the fact that everyone ends up arguing about who is going to pay! My in-laws are the other extreme, they turn up (sometimes unannounced) from hundreds of miles away and never put their hands in their pockets, my FIL especially expects cooked breakfast, mid morning cakes and coffee, lunch, full cooked evening meal with pudding and then snacks in the evening. They are also partial to a choccie digestive at around 5.30am I remember one occasion where MIl knocked on bedroom door to ask us where our biscuits were for this morning ritual - she got the sharp end of OH tounge and no ruddy biscuit!

SUESMITH_2

i wouldn't want my sister to give me money, or a gift card, paying for shopping when we're out is fine but i just don't like the idea of cash - cash seems just to blatant and like others have said makes me out to be a charity case.

meritaten

Sorry, but I wouldnt dream of going to stay with my bro or sis and arrive empty handed! its downright rude! Even though both of them are far better off than me I would at least take some goodies to share!
I dont think its unreasonable to take your own brand of tea, coffee, cereals, etc! I certainly wouldnt expect them to be bought in for me.
maybe not milk - I would prob pop to the local shop for a newspaper and pick up a couple of extra pints each morning.
and a gift of a nice hamper when you leave wont go amiss either!
I have been trying not to say it - but I have to............why is your OH so against you taking supplies? sounds awfully mean of him.

zagubov

If you're travelling by motorway you'd be better off stopping at a supermarket for petrol rather than paying services prices. So you could stock up on a few items while you do a toilet stop, refuel, grab a coffee or a bite-
i mean get a few quick items to eat when you get there, saying you don't want to raid her larder when you arrive, and I mean ready lmeals etc so nobody's going to any trouble with long-winded cooking. Leave her anything you don't use etc.
http://www.5minutesaway.co.uk/
could help or google the big chains and use their store finder to locate the nearest store to a motorway. There's easy to find tesco's in Carlisle, Banbury, Sainsbury's in Preston and countless others - bring your loyalty card.
Just make sure you sort out who's queuing for what so you don't spend all day in the shops and arrive at her house late!

scheming_gypsy

SUESMITH wrote: »

i wouldn't want my sister to give me money, or a gift card, paying for shopping when we're out is fine but i just don't like the idea of cash - cash seems just to blatant and like others have said makes me out to be a charity case.

depends how you do it; I'd drop it on the floor in the bedroom so you're long gone before it's found. When she does find it you can get away with a 'buy yourself something nice with it and we'll sort it out the next time i see you'

victory

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suki1964

My little sis lives in OZ so when she gets visitors then tend to stay a long time and she finds it does put a strain on the finances

We also live a distance from friends and family so they too usually come to stay a couple of nights and yes the bills do increase and yes we put friends to expense as well when we stop with them

My sis when she stayed a month ( with the kids)with us took us out for a meal and then left a voucher for tesco ( our local supermarket) in a thankyou card so there was no way I could send it back. She said thats how she likes people to chip in when they stay as long with her.

When we stop with friends we tend to buy the meals out ( and take my own coffee and preferred cereal) and if we are using the car or being ferried about then we contribute to the petrol.

Its a fine balance I think, you dont want to insult either way but the truth of the matter is, money for most is tight and a contribution is now usually most welcome.

Unlike little sisters in laws who think is ok to come back to England from Oz for 8 weeks, be put up for two weeks by us and not even buy a tank of petrol,nor take the grand-kids back a pressie

meritaten

victory wrote: »

Well no don't get me wrong, or more OH he is just saying that if we turn up laden down with stuff for the 3 days we are there we might as well put up a billboard outside her house saying she has money worries and that we will make her feel bad, I know my sis will not take cash off us , have not done the hamper thing but have got her lots of bits I know she likes and they are to say 'thank you' etc myself and son will give them to her and I also bought her a handy grabber because she says her back hurts, she will like that.

The cash she would just send back in the post and would not be best pleased, so will not go down that route.

ska lover my sis kitchen is open plan so we all gather around it while she cooks or we help, it is a very interactive space so no worries there.

Sis knows we are eating dinner first before we leave, we will get to hers around 10pm so all that we shall have is maybe a coffee, bed then the next day our brought in cereals and milk, the day at thetheme park, the picnic I am bringing, dinner will be at my sis and the full day after will be the same bar another theme park so it will be just 2 dinners.

If you are going for a few days then you will be 'laden down with stuff' on arrival wont you? why would that make people think she has money worries? are the neighbours going to check whats in the bags? are they going to think 'oh they've just taken in tesco carrier bags - shes got money worries!
I think your OH is bang out of order here - your sis is putting you up and the LEAST you can do is bring some food with you! and as you say she is not well off - at least leave her better off and not skint!

victory

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