What food/drink should I take to my sisters?

Emmylou_2

When best mate and I go to stay with her sister for the weekend, we take our own snacks and pop (I'm precious when it comes to "coke v anything"), we also buy whatever's needed for a nice meal at the supermarket/pay for a takeaway.

We're aware that she's on a much tighter budget than us - she's a single parent with a teenager working two jobs. We're in a much better position than her to splash out £100 for a weekend.

Newly_retired

I often wonder what to take when I go to my daughter/ son. She has always got a fridge full so there would be no room for any perishables, milk, etc. It is rarely convenient to take them all out for a meal ( various commitments), so I settle for never arriving empty handed. What I take will vary, but there is always something for the children, usually books, not usually sweets as they are quite rightly restricted, sometimes flowers for her, magazines, biscuits, chocs, treats. Occasionally some staple item I have bought BOGOF eg tea, coffee. She is always grateful. Money is not tight as such, just carefully planned. I would hate to think she moans behind my back that my visits cost her too much. But I do feel a bit guilty that ( for various reasons) I always go there rather than them coming here. Obviously it costs her to feed an extra person, but it costs me in petrol too.

Lunar_Eclipse

I don't think you're going over the top at all. Given her financial situation, I would aim to cover all your main meal food costs (so meals but not the odd bit of jam spread on to toast) and then treat her to a day and meal out whilst you're there. Taking wine, if you like to drink it in the evening, is a nice touch.

And I'd be honest in saying you don't expect her to sub you for everything instead of making up excuses about milk going off and your son being a fussy eater. It's just good manners.

bigmomma051204

Bit late i know.... have just read this post!

I think you are really generous thinking about your sister and the position she is in financially. I have a sister and i am the "poorer" relation.... (lol) - if she came with all her family (i have a husband and little boy - she has hubby and two kids) i think i would be a bit offended as she always kind of appears to think i am, as i said, the poor relation. BUT i think i would swallow my pride as i certainly wouldnt be able to afford food to feed all of us for that amount of time (let alone the trip out etc!) So i would get over it and accept to be honest!!!! I would prefer she asked me first so i could get some nice bits in as well, so as not to look cheap lol!!
You sound like a nice sister - well done you!! :j

pineapple

Surfbabe wrote: »

Why don't you just ask her if there is anything she would like you to bring to help towards meals? Also agree with treating them to theme park and a meal out and any little treats like a bottle or two of wine and some gourmet crisps for the evening.

Indeed
You really need to have this conversation BEFORE the visit. Otherwise you could arrive and find she has already outlayed a fortune. And I think she should be told not asked. Say something like 'I don't think it's fair all of us decending on you so to make ME feel better I am going to do the shopping and cooking one day. Oh and by the way don't get any alcohol in as we are bringing some'.
When it gets to extras like theme park etc insist on paying for her as she is paying for petrol.

Armchair23

For goodness sake talk to her, even if you're not used to it and it seems really hard. If she's gone out and bought cereal or coffee lets say, that she wouldn't normally get, she doesn't need you bringing more of the same . She needs some money or something else that will lighten the load.
If you're not used to talking about things openly it may be a bit tricky at first but way better than having her out of pocket and not knowing what to say. Sometimes just the fact that someone else has realised that it can be a problem and is thinking of what might help is enough. Sometimes when things are tight it feels as if everyone else has got more than enough except you and any acknowledgment that things are hard makes you feel better.
I have been right royally peed off in the past when someone's brought a bunch of flowers when I wouldn't have minded a couple of litres of milk. I know that makes me a misery guts but when things are tight it's really easy to lose perspective. A few thoughtful words and actions make the world of difference.
Rant over

Have a good time X

lurvlyloz

bit different but when i stay with my bf at his mums every other weekend i always make sur ei take stuff with me. i've usually baked something & take wine. not that she has ever said anything but at least it looks like i'm helping out. this weekend i took down some wraps & peppers that were in the fridge coz i knew we were having fajhitas that night so saved them a bit there.

i think ittle things like that are really nice and show that you appreciate a)how much it costs having people over and b) that they are putting you up.