Serious honesty

Seaxwyn

HI CAFCgirl.

I'm hopeless at budgetting too, but one thing that does help me is to use cash only. Christmas has sent this to pot but when it's working I take out my allocated sum for the week in cash on a Friday and living only on this, leaving my debit card at home. When the cash is gone it's gone. This helps me not to buy random things as I know I won't be able to buy basics come the middle of the following week. I must start this again.

Seaxwyn

PS I've never understood the point of keeping cash in a terramundi. Why don't you just pay it off a debt now?

tryhard_2

income?
gifts/christmas/b'days/treats

immoral_angeluk

One word.. SIMPLIFY. Set simple yet realistic targets that you can meet without it getting too complicated and gradually build them up into bigger targets.

mh1923

What if you set up a standing order on payday to pay extra towards your highest APR debt? Then it wouldn't be available for you to spend.

Don't beat yourself up. You've done a lot already, and learning to budget isn't something that happens overnight. You wouldn't expect to know how to drive the first time you got behind the wheel, or to speak a new language fluently without any lessons. No one teaches us how to budget, and we are all tossed out into the world of easy credit without the crucial skills. It will take you some time to learn the skill, but then you will have it for life.

You can do it!

lynzpower

hello treasure

just wanted to say Im much in the same boat as you ( havent read your diary gfor a while, sorry things havent been going too well)

I was so turbo at the beginning, and now Im on zero income and the whole thing has gone to the dogs. I have sort of got to the point where I dont care.

One thing I did notice was that Id taken on far too many challenges and was succeeding at none. the shopping, ebaying, selling my house for under1200, you name it, Ive tried it. and I took on so many i got overwhelmed and simply ground to a halt.

I would say my advice would be this

1) can you cut your mobile contract. Even if you downgrade by a fiver, then voila up your DD to your highest APR debt.
2) could you do the slice on the sky? if you can then theres another 18 quid.

If you can do those things theres an extra 25 a month say towards your debts.

start small, achieve those.

It will make you feel better even if they are fairly painless ( moby contract particulalry)

Good luck hun
lynz xx

ZTD

CAFCGirl wrote:

I've seen the amazing in-roads into debt that some people are making, and I know everyone is different, but I dont feel like I'm making any!

You don't feel like you are - but have you actually sat down and measured? You can't compare yourself with other people. There are some pretty amazing people on here who - to be frank - scare me with their efficiency.

Do what you can do. Don't think "I can't do as well as them" and so do nothing.

CAFCGirl wrote:

I've been totally rubbish at budgetting, meal planning, fly-ladying (if thats word!) any of the challenges etc plus paying anything off!

When you say rubbish - do you mean you've tried and failed, or that you've just never tried?

CAFCGirl wrote:

So really I'm having a rant at myself because I'm so angry with myself for not doing what I need to do, when it all seems so easy!

It's not easy. It's taking control and responsibility, and denying yourself the pleasures in life and replacing them with the tribulations - just to try to have a better, far off and nebulous, future. That isn't easy.

CAFCGirl wrote:

And then I'm asking for help............. suggestions...... tips....... hints anything really!
I know I should know what I'm meant to be doing but I just can't seem to "get it together", plus I'll be honest I'm a bit embarassed to ask..... I try and give advice to those who ask, and I cant even follow it myself..........

Determine what you *can do*. Start off with the small easy stuff and get that running before you try anything complicated.

For example. I never buy anything the same day as I've first seen it. I always go away and come back. Of course most times, after the space of a few hours, I don't want it enough to come back for. Many times when I do come back, it's no longer available - and I have been absolutely gutted at some things. Sometimes it's still there, and I still want it. In those cases I buy it.

I've saved the equivalent of the GDP of Peru doing that. It's simple and effective, but I'll not claim it's easy. Especially when you miss the bargain of a lifetime. For the sixth time that week.

CAFCGirl wrote:

I feel dreadful............

One of the problems you have is that your spending is so entwined with your emotional state. It would be best if you sat down and had a good think as to why that may be, and hence what you can do about it.

PeachPickle

I made a mistake banning negativity only in your own thread I see... :rotfl:

CAFCGirl wrote:

ah the dreaded soa.

Right this is just thinking on the spot so I may miss some

Rent (currently) £300
Tax £50
Utilities (circa) £80 a month, for all 4
Sky £18
BT £35
Mobile £50

Food couldnt tell you! Dont eat as well as I need to, I know that much. Ballpark of £100

CC1 £50 Balance £1300 (22% I do believe)
CC2 £40 Outstanding £1200 (4.95% LOB)
Debs staff card £5 (5% minimum) overpaid last month by £70 Outstanding
Debs store card £5 (as above) overpaid last month by £30. Outstanding £82
D.P Store card £23 (5% minimum) overpaid by £35 last month Outstanding £589

Now Im sure theres things Im forgetting........... anyone? what more do I need?

Right, from that SOA - your outgoings were £823 give or take with the food estimates. What else did you spend? I can't remember if you listed your income in your diary so I won't mouth off about it here BUT THERE IS SIGNIFICANT UNACCOUNTED FOR MOOLAH HERE! However... it was Christmas. Spendy spendy. That's about as harsh as I can get with you, I can't pull it off any longer. I know part of your problem is that you need to save for the big move so you're a bit reluctant to shove money at the cards. I agree with the poster re the terramundi tho - you've got £90something in there now and your debs store card is £82 outstanding. Pay it off! You're stealing from yourself!!! Get the £82 out any way you can and leave the rest in there if you must. Go on... Then everytime you put a bit more in there you can have a warm glow from me and more importantly feel good about yourself.

You've convinced yourself that you're failing and upsetting yourself. Yes, you do need to change things but money isn't the only important thing in the world. You HAVE CHANGED quite a few important things over the past 6 months, you can't do everything at once. Look at it as preparation for the coming months when you WILL CHANGE your finances.



GO GIRL, WOH WOH, GO GIRL

Ok, motivational crap aside... Have you got your £20 spends for the week? If you stick to that for a month you've only spent £80. So stick to it. And stick to it next month. And the next one. If you're not spending it all, stick the rest in the terramundi, or pay it off something, or carry it over. You say you're not much of a one for going out boozing it up all the time - there's your big advantage! Don't beat yourself up about it, be smug about it because it means you're not wasting tonnes of money every week. The idea about the rewards chart is a good one - it's fun, a bit silly and ultimately useful. Maybe you could use it to earn your £20 for the next week rather than give yourself more rewards?

Oh, and this can't escape a mention - £50 mobile?! Sort it!

We're all here for you, but you know that. It's up to you to make sure we're congratulating your success rather than kicking your !!! now

Essay over...

ZTD

CAFCGirl wrote:

Thanks all

I know a lot of it is down to an emotional underlying than a sheer laziness.

I think I almost want to not be debt free. Sounds strange I know but I think its my form of punishment to myself for getting into debt in the first place.

No, that's not strange at all. People get their "buzz" from the most unlikely of sources. It's been found that compulsive gamblers are that way because they get more of a buzz out of losing than winning.

It's may be that you get more of a buzz out of failing than succeeding, so you set yourself impossible tasks, or gradually handicap yourself in order that the end result is failure. It's difficult to tell from this end, so lots of soul searching I'm afraid.

CAFCGirl wrote:

Maybe its some osrt of minature age crisis. Everyone around me at my age, is going out drinking, shopping loads and looking really good, and Im still in my pyjamas and never want to wear any of my clothes, thus leading to pants self esteem and for anyone whose read my diary, another depressive episode.

You have to think *why* you don't wish to wear any of your clothes, and what you feel when you do.

What's your diet like? You are what you eat. Eat crap - become crap.

Oily fish are called "happy" fish for a reason - how much fish do you eat?

Ever see a sad penguin?

CAFCGirl wrote:

I do just need to get brutal with myself, otherwise I'm never going to get there, and I have to stop blaming myself for the debt situation.

You *don't* need to get brutal with yourself. You need to try to determine what your motivations are, and what are the "trigger factors" to feeling crap/the need to spend.

You do need to stop blaming yourself though.

CAFCGirl wrote:

How did anyone get over/into following a budget? I seem to have a serious problem with following one. No matter whether I'm hrash or lenient on myself!

You are going to have to experiment and find out what works best for you. When you spend money on a card - does it feel like spending money? Or does only handing over notes feel like *really* spending money?

ZTD

Imelda wrote:

Keep a spending diary, I know ZTD has been on your back about this but honestly, you need to know where every penny is going, only then can you identify weak areas and plug the leak.

Oh dear me...am I getting a reputation for this? :eek:

I think that keeping a note of your emotional state in this diary would be useful too, so not just what you bought (remember detail - don't just put 'Tescos'), but what you were feeling when you bought it. That might bring to light patterns such like "When I'm unhappy I buy chocolate".