Serious honesty

CAFCGirl

I think I give myself too amny luxuries as it is! lol

I'm not saying I want to feel like I'm struggling, far from it, but I seem to spend a lot of "free" money and then think at the end of the month, I could have knocked x off my debt

I like the idea of the purse picture though. Would it also work if I had an Ikea logo in my purse................ I love. Cant wait to be debt free and have a splurge with my own money..... or would that just be a bigger temptation?!

Imelda

Hi CAFCGirl,

I have been following your diary and I am sorry that you are not doing so good.

Right, well that was the nice bit over with! I started my DF journey around the same time as you and at first I cut back too much, paid off one debt only to get more in debt elsewhere. Now I set myself a realistic budget each month and then make a payment to my debt so it's not around for me to get my paws on. I have mine on a 0% card so my payment goes into my savings, my mum has the card so I can't withdraw any of it.
I only update my spreadsheet with the actual amount saved rather than the fairytale figure I used to put in and see dwindle down to nothing by the end of the month. Like Obi says, pay the money off as soon as you get it, even if it is a few quid that you had in your purse, don't put it in that terramundi (where you can ease it out with a fork, yes I have done that....) pay it straight off a card, don't worry about the odd looks in the bank.
Also, ignore the minimum payment on your statement, make up your own! For my visa it was always around £48- £50, I have kept it at £50 even though it is down to about £42 now, it gives you a false sense of security, like you are on top of things really.
Leave your bank cards at home, start using cash, it is a different ball game when you have to physically hand the £££ over. I have only just trusted myself with a credit card again after about 6 months without, but I immediately transfer anything spent into my (other) savings account.
Keep a spending diary, I know ZTD has been on your back about this but honestly, you need to know where every penny is going, only then can you identify weak areas and plug the leak.

Hope that wasn't too bossy, I will be checking in on you on here and your diary to see how it's going.....

OberonSH

Give it a go. And if you're paying off your debt, then I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. Howabout if you halve your 'free' money for the next month, and see how that works?

tryhard_2

hi sorry haven't read your diary so don't know a lot about you. however do know that once in the debt-depression-spend-guilt cycle it seems to be very difficult to make any inroads into your expenses.
is your budget realistic? have you put aside some money for treats. they don't have to be very expensive. it's like dieting..........if you are too strict you will overeat one day and then there is no stopping.

Conrad

I keep comming back to this site and thinking I must be missing something?

I keep pointing out that my Brother and separately his partner went Bankcrupt. It was all very simple and enabled them to simply walk away from misery (£60000 worth of misery in fact).

Why arent some of you going down this route?

His Bankcruptcy is over 1 year old now so has been discharged. Nothing was repossesed and hes now buying his first home something he never would have been able to do with all that debt. He got a mortgage from SALT (they are a lender not a broker) fixed 3 years at 6.3 (or was it 6.8%) and thats without any proof of income.

I keep reading folk on here who face a 20 year payment plan / IVA and wonder why they dont go Bankcrupt and start afresh?

Conrad

I keep comming back to this site and thinking I must be missing something?

I keep pointing out that my Brother and separately his partner went Bankcrupt. It was all very simple and enabled them to simply walk away from misery (£60000 worth of misery in fact).

Why arent some of you going down this route?

His Bankcruptcy is over 1 year old now so has been discharged. Nothing was repossesed and hes now buying his first home something he never would have been able to do with all that debt. He got a mortgage from SALT (they are a lender not a broker) fixed 3 years at 6.3 (or was it 6.8%) and thats without any proof of income.

I keep reading folk on here who face a 20 year payment plan / IVA and wonder why they dont go Bankcrupt and start afresh?

OberonSH

My MIL keeps on at me to go bankrupt. But My FIL went that route, and is only now realising that he can't get credit for ages, plus for me it means I can't deal with my own business any more. PLus I think it has something to do with how much in the way of assests you have.

CAFCGirl

what the hell was that all about!

I dont think bankruptcy is an option for me, my debt is £7k, I'd get laughed out of court.

Anyway!!!
Imelda I dont think you were being bossy at all. I thin maybe I've done it in reverse. I was never hard enough on myself in the start, and now its seeming rather difficult to start.

TryHard- Thanks for those comments, I do know I cant let myself dwell too much since with depression I'll end up in a crumpled heap on the floor for a week again. But thats why when I feel myself getting a bit annoyed with my actions, I try to stay angry rather than sad. otherwise its all downhill!

The budget thing, I just cant seemt o make it work. So if anyone has any suggestions there, it would be most gratefully received. I'm taking my purse out of my handbag now, and I'm going to put whatever cash is in there, in the little inside zipped pocket and see if that helps me out at all tomorrow. I've got plenty of things I can take to work for lunch, so really, no excuses!

Bargain_Rzl

Conrad - as well as the reasons OberonSH mentioned, for many on here who do have some (even slim) chance of paying back their debt in full, they approach it as a matter of principle...

HOWEVER please don't let's discuss this here, I don't want CAFC's thread to go off topic and end up being closed cos it's turned into a debate.

Storm

Hi CAFCGirl, and sorry to hear you're struggling

Why don't you write down a list of everything you HAVE done since your LBM (not used your CC etc) that goes towards becoming debt-free, plus how much you have actually paid off (cos even if you're only making the minimum payments it must be going down surely?)

If you look at the positives over the last however-many months it will hopefully inspire you more towards continuing on your DF journey.

Spending diary is very good idea!

Storm