DH left me, heads been in the sand. Please help.

needhelp12

clearingout wrote: »

you need to register your 'home rights' with the Land Registry. This will stop your ex selling the house without your knowledge and before any settlement is reached - do it now!

Would he know I have done this?

MissMoneypenny

akin_drum wrote: »

You wouldn't have been awarded income support while you were in a relationship with your husband.

Plus hasn't that stopped/will be stopped soon, when the youngest is 5?

needhelp12 wrote: »

I also gave up my job I am working my last week of my notice now, as I thought I would be better off on income support (youngest is 5). As I only earnt 7k a year part time.

Caz3121

needhelp12 wrote: »

I also gave up my job I am working my last week of my notice now, as I thought I would be better off on income support (youngest is 5). As I only earnt 7k a year part time. BUT then I thought I can't as It would kill me not working, I work to get out the house, and I love what I do, so have joined an agency, but working hours are not guarenteed, they know my position at the moment and know I can only help out during school hours, I have been told an average of 50 hours a month

Whilst income support may have been a better option if you had a mortgage in your name as you could have got some help with the interest payments after 3 months, it will not make you better off in your current circumstances.
If you can work 16 hours a week you will be a lot better off.
Income support approx £3,400 per annum + CTC £5,660 per annum = £9,060 total
Working 16 hours CTC/WTC = approx £9,500 + wages on top of that

merlin68

She can't claim income support as her child is 7. Who is the DLA for? As if it's one of the children on middle rate care, she could then claim carers allowance and income support.

merlin68

Your electric is extortionate, I only put £80 a month in a pre payment meter and I have 2 teenagers.
The kids could have packed lunches, mine do. The life, health insurance you really can't afford. That's what the NHS is for.

clearingout

needhelp12 wrote: »

Would he know I have done this?

Yes, I should think he will. However, there is nothing wrong about you doing this - it is protecting yourself. He could literally sell the property tomorrow if he wanted to, pocket the money and spend it before you've had time to sort the divorce. Not to mention you'd be forced out of your home with your children (one of which is his). I know it's not as easy as selling like that but I have heard at least one case of a wife coming home to find their home has been repossessed, locks changed, windows boarded up and no way of getting in! You need to register that this is your home which the law will recognise as you are married. Don't worry about doing it.

needhelp12

Caz3121 wrote: »

Whilst income support may have been a better option if you had a mortgage in your name as you could have got some help with the interest payments after 3 months, it will not make you better off in your current circumstances.
If you can work 16 hours a week you will be a lot better off.
Income support approx £3,400 per annum + CTC £5,660 per annum = £9,060 total
Working 16 hours CTC/WTC = approx £9,500 + wages on top of that

I told TC that I will be working an average of 16 hrs a week, (But I will be doing say one week 10, next week 40 etc as it's an agency I am starting with) I estimated 10k which is on the very high save side. They estimated just over £230 a week TC/WTC I thought this was way to high, but have read so many other people who have gone through this.

needhelp12

merlin68 wrote: »

She can't claim income support as her child is 7. Who is the DLA for? As if it's one of the children on middle rate care, she could then claim carers allowance and income support.

That's for me, I think I will be getting some premium on top of TC/WTC.

My youngest is 5, I decided not to go for IS as I could not bare being stuck in house all the time, I need to get out there. Don't know how Jeremy Kyle lovers do it. :eek:

needhelp12

clearingout wrote: »

Yes, I should think he will. However, there is nothing wrong about you doing this - it is protecting yourself. He could literally sell the property tomorrow if he wanted to, pocket the money and spend it before you've had time to sort the divorce. Not to mention you'd be forced out of your home with your children (one of which is his). I know it's not as easy as selling like that but I have heard at least one case of a wife coming home to find their home has been repossessed, locks changed, windows boarded up and no way of getting in! You need to register that this is your home which the law will recognise as you are married. Don't worry about doing it.

WOW that is bad.

I know DH would never do that, no matter how much he has hurt me, He would never do that to the kids.

I still think he has had a mid life crisis and will be begging to come back, but I won't be taking him back this time, He has done this before, but never moved out. His texts/emails/calls are all "I am sorry, I really love you" BLAHHH. But bollo x to him, It's defo over !! And I am so angry I am taking him to the cleaners.

Have Solicitor Thursday...

redhenjen

hey - fel for you but number one dont panic and assume the worst. You are married with children adn t eh law will protect you.

tax credits are so great with kids. I also apply to a local parish fund to help with things like school trips. keep working over 16 hours - golden number. yu cannot get school meals under this but the working tax credit makes it worth it.

But my number one - dont call him a snake. law and the emotion have no correlation. you could enter into a nasty and expensive lawyer battle and ruin the realtionship he has with your children. he sounds like a true 42 yr old idiot and nasty to think he can just leave.
If he has a roof over his head and someone to share costs he will not get the house at all - you mayhave to sell eventaully but you will not be left unable to buy a house as it has to get past a judge. Children are the priority.


Debts are also joint up until divorce and all assets. You also get half his pension which may be offset against the house.
Once he knows you have a good lawyer i would really suggest mediation or not progressing with a divoroce as yet - just get to a separation agreement until both of you are level headed. The law is on your side as a bargaining tool.

my hub left 4 yrs ago and both kids are fine. teenage so have figured it all out by now. we are only just getting divorced and transferring the deeds - it is expensive and we have done it with only a bit of mediation.
- he has come through with more money than he should as he can see what we need rather then his own needs. This took him a while of living by himself to figure out. he also has had unlimted access outside his usual night - DONT forget the kids - you will only look bad to them if you cannot talk to him eye to eye and use them as pawns.
plus - awful as it is - it will make you, bitterness is an ugly thing - i am sooo in love now like i never thought possible. dont worry - take it day by day.

All my very best. sleep tight. x