DH left me, heads been in the sand. Please help.

Cornish_piskie

Excellent post redhenjen:T

OP, I feel for you but believe me you will come through this ok Seeing your solicitor on Thursday is an excellent start - make sure you gather any information together regarding finances and write down your questions before your appointment. This helps keep things on track and help you not to go 'blank' when sat across the desk from your solicitor

Please be careful - I thought my ex-hubby would never, ever stoop to any of the usual lows but he did:( He emptied the joint bank account, threatened to report me to Social Services (he said he'd tell them I was a crack addict and couldn't look after my children and they'd believe him as he was the high earner in the family :rotfl:) he tried to stop me from engaging a solicitor - presenting me with an 'agreement' from his solicitor to 'just sign and it will all be sorted', oh, I could go on ....:o

Take care and best of luck. The tax credits will help with finances and I agree, working is the bestest, bestest thing - I couldn't have coped without support of my fab colleagues:) x

clearingout

Cornish_piskie wrote: »

Excellent post redhenjen:T

OP, I feel for you but believe me you will come through this ok Seeing your solicitor on Thursday is an excellent start - make sure you gather any information together regarding finances and write down your questions before your appointment. This helps keep things on track and help you not to go 'blank' when sat across the desk from your solicitor

Please be careful - I thought my ex-hubby would never, ever stoop to any of the usual lows but he did:( He emptied the joint bank account, threatened to report me to Social Services (he said he'd tell them I was a crack addict and couldn't look after my children and they'd believe him as he was the high earner in the family :rotfl:) he tried to stop me from engaging a solicitor - presenting me with an 'agreement' from his solicitor to 'just sign and it will all be sorted', oh, I could go on ....:o

Oh that made me laugh! they do come out with some carp, don't they?! I had all the you're mentally ill and violent and abusive and oh how dreadful it was to be married to you and no one will believe you 'cos you're just a housewife and I'm a respectable, business man'.

So guess who has the kids full time now and who hasn't paid a penny in maintenance for over 2 1/2 years?!!!!

OP - good luck. You will be fine. It takes a bit of time but you'll get there and before you know it, you'll be posting your own amusing snippets about how daft men are (and some women, I know!).

Foggster

I think it is really important to get professional advice on your position and it might be best to go straight to a solicitor for a free 1/2 hr consultation. The reason I say this is because I am currently separated from my husband and I had quite a few surprises when I took advice. One, similar to you is that of the house and of my child from a previous relationship. The house could be deemed too big for me and my daughter and my husband could force a sale and for me to downsize and secondly, as he took on both my daughter and I when we married I could, if I wished to, pursue him for financial support of my daughter as he took on responsibility for the 10 years we were married, even though her father pays maintenance.

I would also get the ball rolling with the CSA and log a claim with them. You can at any time choose to have a private arrangement but should he default on this then any arrears will be calculated from the date you first logged a claim.

Good Luck, like others have said, it takes time but you do get there in the end. Please only accept "official" instruction and advice and do not assume anything including second guessing your ex and assuming he will play fair.