Need urgent advice - family/matrimonial law

vroombroom

pigpen wrote: »

In addition.. if he has a new home he cannot have 2 accounts in his name so he ha no choice but to take his name off OP bils so he can have utilities at his own house!

actually he can. He can have 10 million homes in his name his name if he wants.

dirtysexymonkey

pigpen wrote: »

In addition.. if he has a new home he cannot have 2 accounts in his name so he ha no choice but to take his name off OP bils so he can have utilities at his own house!

your just making stuff up now. op ignore this person.

op you need to get your names on the bills and pay for them yourself. hes already paying the full cost of your home so you shouldnt be attacking him quite as much as you are.

clearingout

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

your just making stuff up now. op ignore this person.

op you need to get your names on the bills and pay for them yourself. hes already paying the full cost of your home so you shouldnt be attacking him quite as much as you are.

to be fair to the OP, when a relationship goes wrong and you're left with nothing from a financial perspective, it is terrifying. I clung to my ex 'doing the right thing' for many months until it sunk in that he wasn't going to but that neither did he actually have to. I was left with a huge mortgage, debts in my sole name, a baby on the way, 2 small children, one day's work a week....my work didn't cover the cost of the mortgage and I couldn't get a penny out of my self employed ex even with the support of the CSA. So I think it's natural to worry about how you're going to pay the utility bills once you're names on them and to wonder why your ex is doing this to you and his children.

OP - is the house in your name? is it the marital home where you are now? if it's not in your name, you need to register your home rights with the Land Registry as soon as possible - this will stop him from selling it without your knowledge.

Ada_Doom

Sounds like you have been summoned to attend, which means you have to attend. In my experience that is a bit unusual in family proceedings, especially for a first hearing. Is there more to this? You really need to attend the hearing, but please do tell the Judge that you have been given minimal time to prepare and that you were served papers on the saturday of a bank holiday weekend which has given you one day to get legal help.

mumneedshelp

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

your just making stuff up now. op ignore this person.

op you need to get your names on the bills and pay for them yourself. hes already paying the full cost of your home so you shouldnt be attacking him quite as much as you are.

It's ok DSM, even I'm not that stupid to believe that!

I'm attacking the Ex because of the situation I'm now in. I'm on maternity leave, SMP has just finished, HMRC take an age to sort out benefits (which thank god I applied for as it's been 4 weeks now and still nothing), the bills & house are all in his name and my savings have all but gone trying to buy food, toys, clothes etc over the years plus now I'm earning nothing my savings are going even faster as he paid for my car insurance last year and it's just renewed last month so I've had that to pay plus bills which will now be in my name.

It's bloody hard trying to figure out what to do. I've never had to deal with bills before as I just handed over money to the Ex and that was it. I don't know how I'm expected to return to work as I will literally be working to pay childcare. I have never claimed benefits and to be honest, I feel sick having to do it now but needs must and all that. I do want to work but I need to speak to CSA or someone to figure out my options.

Ada Doom - really, there is nothing more to this at all - well not that I know of.

He was being agressive and threatening towards me weeks ago and he agreed to leave the house then changed his mind so I phoned the police out of fear as I didn't want to be left alone with him. Since then I have denied access once and that was because he wanted to take the kids away from the marital home (where I am still living) to his new place which until recently, I didn't know where it was. In the 5 or 6 weeks since he has had weekly access to the kids. The SS report came back fine although I'm a tad annoyed that they turn up unannounced on my door step to make judgements on the cleanliness of the house, what toys the kids have etc yet the Ex is able to pick a time that suits him to go to them so he doesn't have his house assessed.

Should I be worried that I've been summoned like this?

Ada_Doom

no need to worry, but would go to the hearing and talk to a solicitor.

mumneedshelp

Ada_Doom wrote: »

no need to worry, but would go to the hearing and talk to a solicitor.

Don't worry, I had no intention of not going but obviously at such short notice it will be hard getting a solicitor at all but with 24 hours notice to attend court!!

I get the feeling he just kept me dangling for weeks until the court date came through then he hit me with the financial stuff as well. He's a scumbag and a lot worse but I daren't disclose that on here for fear of libel.

Actually, speaking of things like libel, a lot of what he has declared in his supporting statement is a bunch of lies, lots of which I can prove. Can this be used against him or could he simply explain things away with "oh, I got my dates mixed up" or some other inocuous excuse?

Thank you all so much for your replies. This has hit me harder than a right hook from Mike Tyson. I was standing in the shower on Saturday morning hoping he'd contact me that day to see the kids or to try and arrange for us to go to Relate but instead when the door rang I was greated with postie and the summons. A lot of this seems like he was simply going through the motions just to say he'd done it even if he had no intention of following up. A good example is Relate whereby we had the initial assessment but the only options he gave for our appointments (if we'd ever got one) was one specific time in 4 out of 5 days. He's been able to take time off work to view houses, go to the solicitor, fly across to stay with his family but not to go to Relate.

BugglyB

I hope everything goes ok for you this week. However bad it is one day you will look back and think 'I got through that'.

Hold your head high when you go to court and try to just stick to the facts. A cool and calm manner does wonders in the face of a bully.

gratefulforhelp_2

mumneedshelp wrote: »

I don't begrudge his first child anything and I have done everything for that child since I came into its life but he is willing to lose our marriage over the fact that I simply cannot afford to keep paying for everything while he refuses to reduce his payments (which would have been done automatically for each child we had if it was a CSA application).

Is what you are saying that you are splitting/have split up due to the amount of child maintenance he pays?

CH27

How did you get on at Court OP?