Need urgent advice - family/matrimonial law

mumneedshelp

clearingout wrote: »

Did he serve you with papers on Friday at 5pm?

No - it came recorded delivery on Saturday. Papers were signed & dated by him in July yet he never said a word which I think is pathetic but I'm guessing by law he didn't have to tell me.

What I don't like reading is him saying that after he was removed from the house I told him I wished he were dead and he would never see the children again. He has actually seen them regularly over the last few weeks since and I thought we were moving towards trying to fix the marriage but alas, it would seem he was keeping me sweet (and in the dark) until he got the court date.

clearingout

well, if they came on Saturday, you have no time to get thing sorted. Don't worry. Is he representing himself? I can't see a solicitor being as daft as to hold onto the paperwork for that long - make a big song and dance about it if he does have one!

clearingout

you're aware you're giving mixed messages? you have had to have the man removed from your home by the police but you want to get back together? there's always a first time for violence? You consider yourself lucky you didn't end up under a bus?

Don't mean to pick at you - I suspect I did the same in the first few months of my marriage breaking down. It can take a while to come to terms with things. It doesn't sound like this is a man you should be wanting in your life.

mumneedshelp

clearingout wrote: »

well, if they came on Saturday, you have no time to get thing sorted. Don't worry. Is he representing himself? I can't see a solicitor being as daft as to hold onto the paperwork for that long - make a big song and dance about it if he does have one!

No the papers have come from his solicitor!!!!

clearingout wrote: »

you're aware you're giving mixed messages? you have had to have the man removed from your home by the police but you want to get back together? there's always a first time for violence? You consider yourself lucky you didn't end up under a bus?

Don't mean to pick at you - I suspect I did the same in the first few months of my marriage breaking down. It can take a while to come to terms with things. It doesn't sound like this is a man you should be wanting in your life.

People kept saying that you need to work at a marriage, you can't give up, there are young kids etc. I haven't loved him in months but I had hoped I would get it back but no chance now.

When I said about the bus, I meant that it's a wonder I didn't walk out in front of a bus given what I've put up with over the years. Trust me, after the court summons and the threat of withdrawing utilities, I now know he's not a man I want in my life. In fact, calling him a man isn't fair to real men.

clearingout

oooh, that's very underhand. Make sure the judge knows about that - especially as your ex and his solicitors are obviously aware you don't have a solicitor as they haven't been able to serve the paperwork there as well. I am not sure, but I think there is a required amount of time they have to give you - at least 2 weeks? maybe a month? Anyway, shout loud about it! Also, have a look on https://www.wikivorce.com as there is a lot of experience there. Good luck with it.

mumneedshelp

clearingout wrote: »

oooh, that's very underhand.

I know but it really doesn't surprise me. There's more but it's too complicated to post on here (and probably too obvious if anyone is reading).

peachyprice

mumneedshelp wrote: »

Trust me, after the court summons and the threat of withdrawing utilities, I now know he's not a man I want in my life. In fact, calling him a man isn't fair to real men.

I think you're getting a bit hung up on the utilities issue. He's not 'withdrawring' utilities, he's not asking them to cut you off, he's having his name taken off the bills, which is correct if he's not living in the house, the bills should be in your name even if he's been paying towards them.

All that this means is that you will be liable for the bills but only from the date he has his name taken off, hence the above advice for you to do it first so that you know the meter readings are correct and you start with a clean slate. If there are any arrears on the bills they will be his liability, not yours.

pigpen

peachyprice wrote: »

I think you're getting a bit hung up on the utilities issue. He's not 'withdrawring' utilities, he's not asking them to cut you off, he's having his name taken off the bills, which is correct if he's not living in the house, the bills should be in your name even if he's been paying towards them.

All that this means is that you will be liable for the bills but only from the date he has his name taken off, hence the above advice for you to do it first so that you know the meter readings are correct and you start with a clean slate. If there are any arrears on the bills they will be his liability, not yours.

In addition.. if he has a new home he cannot have 2 accounts in his name so he ha no choice but to take his name off OP bils so he can have utilities at his own house!

mumneedshelp

peachyprice wrote: »

I think you're getting a bit hung up on the utilities issue. He's not 'withdrawring' utilities, he's not asking them to cut you off, he's having his name taken off the bills, which is correct if he's not living in the house, the bills should be in your name even if he's been paying towards them.

All that this means is that you will be liable for the bills but only from the date he has his name taken off, hence the above advice for you to do it first so that you know the meter readings are correct and you start with a clean slate. If there are any arrears on the bills they will be his liability, not yours.

I know what you're both getting at, it's the fact that this has come out of the blue when he knows I'm not receiving any income other than CB at present. He's given a date from when he will no longer be responsible but the thing is, my name has never been on a single thing for this house. Not on the mortgage, the deeds, the electric, the gas .... anything. I simply had to transfer him half the money each month and he took care of everything.

mumneedshelp

pigpen wrote: »

In addition.. if he has a new home he cannot have 2 accounts in his name so he ha no choice but to take his name off OP bils so he can have utilities at his own house!

Really? So how has he been able to live in his new house with no utilities for the last 6 weeks? And how do people manage to own more than one home? If what you say is true then I'm amazed.