Step mum havng another baby

kayandy_2

Pollycat wrote: »

Given what the OP says in her post #25 about her past relationship with her Dad, I wonder if the contact between them is a one-way street driven by her.

I can say its not driven by me he contacts me more than i contat him although i do talk to my step mum alot as shes only 9 years older than me so not much of a gap and we used to get on quite well.. ive askd my dad out right he said he forgot!!!

Pollycat

Pollycat wrote: »

Just wondered - did your full sister know about the baby before you did or doesn't she have contact with your Dad?

And the answer to this is....?

kayandy wrote: »

I can say its not driven by me he contacts me more than i contat him although i do talk to my step mum alot as shes only 9 years older than me so not much of a gap and we used to get on quite well.. ive askd my dad out right he said he forgot!!!

Do you really believe he forgot to tell you that his wife was having a baby between the 6 weeks stage when they found out and the (probable) 34 + week stage at which they told you?

That is a serious question, not sarcasm.

Only you can know if your Dad's explanation of why he didn't tell you is likely to be the truth. I guess it depends on what you talk about when you're in contact with him. I can see that it possibly might not have come out in the conversation.

kayandy wrote: »

I can say its not driven by me he contacts me more than i contat him although i do talk to my step mum alot as shes only 9 years older than me so not much of a gap and we used to get on quite well.. ive askd my dad out righthe said he forgot!!!

I wonder why your stepmum didn't mention the baby to you for almost 7 months either if you talk to her a lot?

Maybe it was just a case of your step-Mum thinking that your dad had told you.

Are you saying you 'used to get on quite well' because this has put a cloud on your relationship with them?

Whatever the answers, this had obviously (and understandably) upset you and if I were you I would be determined to get to the bottom of it.

mrs_sparrow

Is it possible he embarrassed at already having so many children, with so many different women, already?

Playing devils advocate, you cannot have spoken or seen many people in your family that often else this would have come up in just passing conversation (you must be excited, etc...). Likewise with other members of the family, when you spoke to them, one of them would have said something. People have known for 6 months. Did you other sisters know?

gratefulforhelp_2

kayandy wrote: »

My dad and step-mum have been together for 3 years and married for 1 this sunday and are having another baby they already have a little boy whos 2 and my stepmum has a duaghter whos 4 who my dad adopted they have recently told me they are having another baby and she is due at the end of september... Im very happy for them i really am. im just a little put out they waited so long to tell me and due because of it me and my dad got into an argument is it just me being silly and childish or am i right to be angry he waited so long to tell me??

Maybe they had lost babies in pregnancy before and didn't want to have to explain if they lost this one.

Pollycat

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Maybe they had lost babies in pregnancy before and didn't want to have to explain if they lost this one.

But that doesn't explain why they told everybody else at the 6 week stage.

kayandy wrote: »

And everybody else in the family found out hen she was 6 weeks so you know thats why im annoyed.

Pollycat

Actually, in replying to gratefulforhelp, I noticed this comment from the OP that I'd missed previously:

kayandy wrote: »

And its not a case of them getting their wires crossed they made a big show of none of the family telling me this is also why im angry...

If that means what I think it means i.e. they (OP's Dad & Stepmum) deliberately asked/told the rest of the family not to tell her, there's something very wrong with that - and if I were the OP, I'd want to know exactly what I'd done to be kept out of the good news.

euronorris

OP - Had you expressed negative views of your Dad and his wife having more children? Or maybe even of older guys having children? Anything like that, which may have led them to believe that you wouldn't have been very happy for them?

Or, have you experienced a loss recently, and they didn't want to 'rub it in', so to speak?

Or, do you have contact with someone else, who they didn't want to know, and there was a chance you'd tell them?

Just some ideas. Your Dad must have a reason. And 'I forgot' does not fit with them telling the rest of the family, but insisting they keep it from you.

I wouldn't get angry though. It's not worth it. I'd just let them know that you're hurt and keep asking for the real reason. Stay calm though. Getting angry, in this instance, will only ensure they keep their mouths shut.

kayandy_2

euronorris wrote: »

OP - Had you expressed negative views of your Dad and his wife having more children? Or maybe even of older guys having children? Anything like that, which may have led them to believe that you wouldn't have been very happy for them?

Or, have you experienced a loss recently, and they didn't want to 'rub it in', so to speak?

Or, do you have contact with someone else, who they didn't want to know, and there was a chance you'd tell them?

Just some ideas. Your Dad must have a reason. And 'I forgot' does not fit with them telling the rest of the family, but insisting they keep it from you.

I wouldn't get angry though. It's not worth it. I'd just let them know that you're hurt and keep asking for the real reason. Stay calm though. Getting angry, in this instance, will only ensure they keep their mouths shut.

Nope i dony have contact with anybody that didnt already no and ive not spoken to them about them having more children etc and ive not suffered a loss either....my 12 year old sister knew and so did their 2 children. he just said he forgot to tel me and refusess to talk about it!!!! Ive not really spoken to them since they told me and my stepmum asked me to be babys god mother.... i just want to know whats going on but neither of them will talk about it ....