Step mum havng another baby

Plans_all_plans

Erm, how about if both you and your husband work and you have a child in school?

I don't get to see my parents often (approx 3 times a year) as in the situation above there is not a lot of time when we can get down, due to us taking our leave at different times to cover the childcare during holidays.

Ladyhawk

pigpen wrote: »

Rubbish.. she is young, she has legs and a brain.. my cousin flies to the UK from Australia 4 times a year to see her parents and has done since she went over there at about 20 and rings at least 3 or 4 times a week and emails constantly.. there is no excuse to not see/contact your parents.. unless you dont like them..

On the contrary, it is you that is talking rubbish.

Not every one had a minmum of £4k to fly to the other side of the world 4 times a year or the leave from work. People have busy lives but doesn't mean that they don't like their family. I see my parents about once a year as they live on the other side of the world. We speak every week on skype and text and email regularly. Does that make me not love or even like them?

Anyway,what makes you such an expert on the human condition?

pinkclouds

kayandy wrote: »

Im very happy for them i really am. im just a little put out they waited so long to tell me and due because of it me and my dad got into an argument is it just me being silly and childish or am i right to be angry he waited so long to tell me??

I think you're right to feel "put out" but wrong to feel angry. You were left out of the loop and feel understandably slighted. Regardless of how you feel about your step- and half-siblings, there are many valid reasons why people choose not to publicise their pregnancies - yes, even to their nearest and dearest. They have now told you and you have a new sibling to look forward to. I think that's all that's important now.

To put it another way, be thankful that the news they are sharing is not: "your new sibling will be severely disabled" or "your step-mom miscarried". Until the baby is safely past the viable stage, it is very much a personal choice whether to carry to term if there are... problems. For all we know, your step-mom may have naturally miscarried many times. Is that something that should be shared with a child too? Of course, there could be many other reasons. These are just some of the most emotive that I can think of at this moment.

*breathe* And let it go. Congrats on your new sibling.

kayandy_2

Right im 20 years old and only strated talking to my dad agen at age 16 after 5 years. This was because he put his ex before me and my sister when his ex asked him to choose he choose her. I talk to my dad and step mum all the time via phone email etc however its nt always possible for me to see them...And everybody else in the family found out hen she was 6 weeks so you know thats why im annoyed. My dad has me and my full sister to my mum then i have another 2 half sister which are his to different women and now the children he has with my step mum. Im not bothered about him having a baby im very excited for them and have sent a card etc im not sure why he didnt tell me as he did when he had his 2 year old and i was very happy. And its not a case of them getting their wires crossed they made a big show of none of the family telling me this is also why im angry...

Torry_Quine

kayandy wrote: »

Right im 20 years old and only strated talking to my dad agen at age 16 after 5 years. This was because he put his ex before me and my sister when his ex asked him to choose he choose her. I talk to my dad and step mum all the time via phone email etc however its nt always possible for me to see them...And everybody else in the family found out hen she was 6 weeks so you know thats why im annoyed. My dad has me and my full sister to my mum then i have another 2 half sister which are his to different women and now the children he has with my step mum. Im not bothered about him having a baby im very excited for them and have sent a card etc im not sure why he didnt tell me as he did when he had his 2 year old and i was very happy. And its not a case of them getting their wires crossed they made a big show of none of the family telling me this is also why im angry...

Now we have a fuller picture it is very justifiable that you are angry. It does seem very strange that everyone was specifically told not to tell you. The only one who can give you the answers you want is your father.

Pollycat

I agree with Torry Quine now you've given us more details (always best to give the full picture when asking for advice), in your position I would be pretty hacked off too.

kayandy wrote: »

im not sure why he didnt tell me as he did when he had his 2 year old and i was very happy.

I ask him point-blank why he didn't tell you when he told the rest of the family.

I'd tell him you felt hurt and left out.

kayandy wrote: »

My dad has me and my full sister to my mum then i have another 2 half sister which are his to different women and now the children he has with my step mum.

Just wondered - did your full sister know about the baby before you did or doesn't she have contact with your Dad?

Plans_all_plans

You're a better person than I am OP. I'd still be furious about him picking his (now) ex over me and my sister. Obviously you are trying to rebuild your relationship with him, which is admirable, but he is the only one who will be able to tell you why he felt it best to keep you in the dark until now.

clairec79

Just a thought - is there any possiblity that this is a surprise pregnancy for them as well - I've known people not realise they were pregnant, or think they were a lot earlier than they thought they were - one woman I'm thinking of went for her 12week scan, after which many tell the news, (based on what she thought) and found she was 39weeks - but because of bleeds hadn't realised for ages. If there is something like that then they may not have meant for you to find out that late,

Plans_all_plans

Claire in post 25 the OP says everyone else in the family found out when she was 6 weeks gone, so they've not told the OP deliberately by the look of it.

Pollycat

kayandy wrote: »

I talk to my dad and step mum all the time via phone email etc however its nt always possible for me to see them

Given what the OP says in her post #25 about her past relationship with her Dad, I wonder if the contact between them is a one-way street driven by her.