Where there's muck there's brass

RubySewSew

Mortgage bounced on Friday - short by £27. Chickens have no food. DS3 needs a coat. DS2 has outgrown his shoes and ALL his trousers.

Good news - Student loans are organising rebate, have just put in invoice for £300 to university, am owed £25 for cash in hand work, it's half term so I can do some ebaying and crafting.

Car is due for mot this week which it will definitely fail. And tax is due.

DMP is signed, sealed, packaged and ready to post. Forms for council tax benefit have arrived (in a scarily thick envelope).

None of this would be relevant if my divorce was sorted and my ex was paying a reasonable amount of maintenance.

Conclusion - prioritise divorce above everything else. That is my mission for the week!!

RubySewSew

Half term - day 1.

It's 2.30pm and I am sat up in bed wrapped in a towel writing on here!

The weather outside is lovely and probably very limited yet, I can't seem to force myself to do anything. I decided on a nice restful pyjama day so that I didn't give myself a hard time about not doing anything yet here I am giving myself a hard time about not doing anything!!

I went to visit my friend's new house yesterday which was just beautiful. She has just left her partner and her and her kids have moved into a lovely little rented property. It's clean, white and bright, well maintained and she has managed to leave all the old crap from her life behind making a fresh start with a few treasured possessions and some generous donations of furniture from family and friends. Why don't I feel the same way about my little house and fresh start as I am envious about hers? I know that my house has come to represent a millstone around my neck. Why? It feels dirty and cluttered an frayed and tatty. How do I make the best of this? I've read the riot act to the kids about their lack of care and respect for their room. The boys have ripped the curtain pole of the wall, torn the lightshade, spilt paint on the carpet and the whole house is covered in bits of broken toys and parts of games. I'm thinking ahead to Christmas and wondering what is the point in buying anything when everything gets treated in this way? I have some major bits of paperwork to complete this week (divorce, tax return) and would love to make a start on some of the creative projects hanging around. So what is stopping me? Why am i holding myself back? I get so frustrated at myself sometimes.

I don't want to give you the impression that things are bad at the moment because they're not. I had a lovely weekend with good friends, got a whole lot of major paperwork done and in the post and loads of sleep and relaxation.

Any tips for motivating and incentivising myself appreciated...

RubySewSew

Got my butt in gear. Sort of. Well, a bit. Took a Memory Girl tactic and got everyone to join in. 1 hour to clean (boys - bedrooms, me - kitchen) and then a bar of chocolate. Hee hee! It worked. Boys did fab job in their bedrooms. DS1 even scrubbed a banana stain out of his carpet. I have not exactly finished the kitchen but the dishwasher is on, the floor is swept and mopped and smelling almond delicious, the table is clothed, hang on, that doesn't translate... I've put the table cloth on... Lazy dinner is cooking and then I can give the kitchen a clean down when the boys are upstairs in bed. I said they can have a sleepover.

Oh and there is an open bottle of wine in the fridge that needs drinking...

My bedroom is a mess. I was looking something up on Ikea website this morning and it flashed up at me 'go to bed tonight in a tidy room'. if only, Ikea, if only! It did make me think though I should just get on with it. I have half term and enough creativity to sort it out. My bedroom really only needs lick of paint, new blind, big focus picture, snazzy new drawers. I don't actually have a bed, just a mattress on the floor but it's kind of cosy so I don't mind. I have already at my disposal; a big old Habitat picture frame, lots of lovely images I can decoupage together, an old, tatty but pretty chest of drawers I can paint up and some lovely paper to finish it with. That means I need to buy paint and a blind. Not so bad really then

I wish I could get confident at drilling and hanging pictures though. I'm such a DIY wuss

RubySewSew

Where has everybody else gone?!

Eager_Elephant

:jI am here Ruby!!! Unfortunately it is not half term for me so I have been at work.

I read your 2.30pm post last night and thought oh I'll reply later but then never got a chance and today I see you had come back to report the children had helped which I was going to suggest.

I hope you don't take offence to my next statement but I wonder if you are setting yourself up to fail every holiday you have from school
In my defence can I point out that I am exactly the same on my day off each week (mid week).

I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to get so much done and then when we can't achieve it we berate ourselves which is not good for us!!

I just wonder if you need to have a list of long term plans, medium term plans and short term plans so that you don't feel that everything has to be done in the holidays - you need a break as much as the children.

To get the paperwork done this week I think you need one of two strategies - there is the 15 minute bursts so you know the end of the 15 mins is never far away. If I do this I do housework or paperwork for 15mins and then have 15 mins on t'internet and then 15 mins of work etc and it does seem to work - 15 mins really does fly by.
The other way is to say to yourself I don't have to get all this done today so it doesn't matter if I don't. Then whatever your task (lets say an essay but it applies to everything ) you get out your notebook and essay task and leave them on the table with no pressure to do anything else. Then you might feel like you can do a but more so you might put the date and the title on but with no pressure to do anything else. Then leave it and soon you will feel yourself drawn back because now you don't have a blank piece of paper and so you write the introduction and before you know it you have finished the essay because you have not put any pressure on yourself :T
I know this will not always be easy with little ones but if you have a desk in your bedroom it might help.

Just remember paper tax returns have to be in by 31st October 2011 but if you sign up to do them online (you have to request log in details which arrive by post) then it does not have to be completed until 31st January 2012 but then your tax is due that day also.

I think the most important is the divorce papers as this will give you a better quality of life once it is sorted.
I also think you should sort out a bed frame, it must be awful to have to sleep not many inches from the floor - you never out yourself first and you need to start. Do you have a charity shop which does furniture nearby? My local bargain shop has a double pine bed frame for £49.95 :T, I know it is a lot of money but you really need a decent bed or could you check out freecycle or freegle (which ever you have)

With regard to Xmas presents I am not sure what to suggest but I remember when I was a child and as there were 6 of us not much actually lasted more than a few months - we did respect things but also with 6 rough and tumble kids that was a bit much to ask for from any toy

There endeth my sermon - of course you can just total ignore me because if I did everything I say then I would be perfect :rotfl:

RubySewSew

Tee hee! All too true!

Gonna have a long hot soak and then get dressed. Looking after my friend's little girl this morning - so different - she's just following me around wanting to do stuff with her! So not like the boys!

Will be back later wit a cup of tea x

RubySewSew

I have taken on board everything you have said wholeheartedly. I'd be saying exactly the same if the boot were on the other foot! I have had a chilled out kind of a day today. Got up early to collect my friend's little girl as she had uni today (she doesn't drive). Had a bath and mooched around for a bit then took kids over to warm, sunny park to meet friends. Had to pay £1.60 for parking but not bad for 2 hours entertainment. Kids all got a bouncy ball for 20p and had so much fun! Home to lovely cup of tea and the kids entertained themselves with science experiments in the garden (trying to blow a bubble inside a bubble inside a bubble then sending lego men into space with a jar of pickled onion vinegar!! and some bicarb of soda - loads of mess but hours of entertainment). Did a kid swap - little girl was picked up (and bottle of ginger wine and halloween cupcakes dropped off ) as DS1's mate was dropped off with dog. Put ET on and snuggled up on sofa with DS2 and DS3. Fell asleep! DS1 wanted money for the dvd shop so went and set up a car wash outside. Earned himself a fiver! Really proud of him.

Have eased myself upright and awake now and potatoes baking in oven. The house is slowly easing into a better state and the paperwork is currently pending. Divorce papers and pencil by the sofa ready to be flicked through as and when. I will need to do my tax return as part of this process as figures for last 2 years needed. It all feels a lot more manageable.

Gonna go look up free half term things to do - there seems to be a lot on at the museums and the libraries. I hope this lovely crisp autumn weather continues - it has literally been a joy! Have loads of lovely ingredients to cook with this week. Butternut squash (for spiced soup and homemade flatbreads), chorizo and prawns for risotto, chicken/quorn for curry. Will make some cupcakes and halloween biscuits to and get some sourdough started. Yummy yummy. I'm going to try and find a parkin recipe to - my Mum's family recipe has completely failed me the last few years I've tried it. if I get a good one I'll make some to take to my sister's for bonfire night. Blimey! Look at me enjoying autumn/winter! I'm usually in a cavernous winter depression by now!

Right, council website, find out what to do with ginger wine, parkin recipe, and make your own Christmas decoration ideas!! Teeheehee - so much fun! Now this is what half term was made for

Lemon_Tree

glad to see you in such a positive mindset Ruby and that you're enjoying the half term. I'll bet the weather is a god send at the moment, it certainly doesn't feel like the end of October.

RubySewSew

I know! The only drawback to the weather is that DS1 has an appointment with the ENT next week and would usually be on his third or fourth bout of tonsilitis of the year. He hasn't had a single case this year! I'd like to think that he's made a full recovery but reckon it might just be lurking for the first hint of frost!

I have however still not turned the heating on - haven't even needed a hot water bottle the last couple of nights though. Got in tonight and thought it was a bit chilly but put on my duvet slippers and I'm toasty warm! Helped along by a really nice bottle of red wine given to me by my friend. She had a vineyard trip booked and paid for and invited me along but I didn't have anyone to look after the kids. She was going to let it go to waste so I went to look after her kids so that she could go with her (elderly) mother in law. They had a lovely time and we made halloween biscuits which kept them all entertained. 2 tweenagers in the house though - it's like having them in stereo!

It's really been a lovely day again; nice lie in, pootled round the kitchen cleaning and tidying (another job off the list), made spiced butternut squash soup for lunch and veg lasagne for tea - taught DS2 to make Bechamel sauce and had some quality time with him whilst the others went out carwashing again. Bit of babysitting and home again to empty house, bottle of local red wine, promise of pizza and a visit from the ex-bf to watch the final episode of The Fades! Life is soooo much easier in half term!

Oh, and the universe delivered me a lovely little parcel this morning to I had a guy phone me this morning (friend of a friend) who was desperate for support and advice about his dyslexic son. I talked things through with him for a bit and offered to put together some information for him. He then turned around and asked if he could do anything for me - he's a builder!! My heart jumped for joy! I have got a couple of worrying things in the house I need looked at by someone trustworthy and would really like to find out about having a fireplace fitted. I was only thinking yesterday that I needed to meet a builder, preferably an attractive, single one !

Things do feel pretty good at the moment Lemon Tree. I feel like I've got options, like things are moving forwards, and I feel truly blessed to have wonderful friends and family. That's a pretty warm, safe feeling xxx

RubySewSew

I've been mulling the whole bed thing over Eager. If I'm honest it does feel a bit studenty having an, albeit very comfortable, mattress on the floor. However, I'm not sure what the answer is. My bedroom is tiny. I swapped with the younger DS's so that they could have more space and hopefully fight less and sleep longer. It worked so the swap was totally worth it. Unfortunately, I had to get rid of my bed in the process. There is really only one position my bed can go in and it comes right up to the door frame. From memory the measurement from wall to door frame is 204cm and there are really very few bed frames that come in under that. I've seen a lovely one in Ikea which would be perfect (right size, lots of storage) which is £159. My current mattress is king size though so would need to replace mattress which would significantly bump the price up. So this puts the bed very high up on my wish list but quite low down on my priority list - I'm ok about it. There are lots of other ways I can make my bedroom nice for a lot less money. And a bed is worth investing in - can't remember who it was that said if you spend money on two things it should be your bed and your shoes because if you're not in one you're in the other.

The first thing I could do to make my bedroom nicer would be to tidy it up!! In an attempt to get the rest of the house sorted it has become the dumping ground. Grrrrrr! I shared my bed last night with a laminater and reams of bubble wrap! I am a silly Ruby sometimes.

Not sure what today holds. Might brave checking the bank account, phoning the mortgage company, chasing student loans about rebate, going for a swim with the kids (although would have to pay for parking which would be free if I went by myself later), having a look round the secondhand furniture shops for a box for my Mum's birthday present. And looking up some crafty Christmas ideas - am going to host a decoration making day - saw some good ideas on Homemade Kirsty last night - I have loads of vintage paper to use.

I hope you're all having a lovely week whether that is working or half terming. And hoping that nobody has got caught up in the floods