Is my dad cheating on my mum?

ceebeeby

OMG - would totally ignore it. Sounds like a nightmare situation already for them. If they're already broken beyond repair, then I wouldn't add insult to injury to either party.

Move out!

belfastgirl23

Nosing around in your parents sex life is not a good idea under any circumstances. Way too freaky for you and way too intimate for them.

If your mother was under the impression she was in a happy marriage and you feared you'd found out otherwise, I'd have much more sympathy for trying to find a way to talk to her about it. But the marriage is clearly messed up from everyone's perspective. I can't see who would gain anything from this. Except if you want to force an earlier separation I guess??

In your shoes I would erase from my mind that I'd ever seen it.

Advice_wanted_3

OK thanks guys. I really want to do what is the "right" thing and keeping schum seems the best option, I feel a lot less guilty now about not saying anything. Thank-you very much everybody.

meritaten

hun - you have said that parents lead separate lives - leave this alone, as I think its nothing to do with you and you dont want to know!

make_me_wise

One other perspective, sometimes people are unable to call a day on a relationship by themselves. They are not strong enough to walk away from a marriage even when it is broken beyond repair. Which it could be said is where you parents marriage is at and has been for years.

Has it crossed your mind that your dad wanted you to see this message and for you to tell your mum for him. Could have been the straw that broke the camels back and meant it all came to an end.

I dont wish to upset you by suggesting this and am sure it must be horrible to be in this position.

Newgirl_2

Tropez wrote: »

Most of these "affairs" sites require you to be a member to look, but not necessarily a paying one. It is then standard policy to send lots of phoney private messages to non-paying members to coax them into signing up for a paid subscription so that they can view these messages, although they'll never hear back from the "person" (read bot) that sent them if they actually respond.

There can be various reasons why people might sign up to these sites and it isn't entirely unfeasible that somebody with a kink for amateur !!!!!! would sign up because most of the pictures on such sites are very revealing and the profile information may also humanise the person more so than watching two complete strangers in a video from a !!!!!! tube site. It is worth considering that for many people the fantasy is more stimulating than the reality.

With that in mind, you haven't got much proof. You also don't really have any proof that this wasn't some sort of spam masquerading as a legitimate PM from a legitimate site. I'm sure most of us have had the various "You've a new message!" email notification from a dodgy website we've never visited before and even though the site may exist on the Internet, there's no real way of knowing that it isn't a site that engages in this sort of marketing practice. Sometimes simply being a member of an affiliated site will get you stuck on the mailing list of 100s of sites in their little group, just as sex industry websites are notorious for passing around email addresses and using bots to trawl any old forum looking for email addresses to add to their lists.

Your father may well be up to something but unless you have better proof than this, you're best staying out of it especially given the circumstances of his current situation.

Seconded. One email is evidence of nothing and you don't know what their 'arrangement' is anyway.

If you happen across true evidence or it really bothers you, by all means speak to your dad but be prepared for fall out.


Newgirl

erdd2

your parents should sort this themselves...to involve a child...no matter the age of the child.....is !!!!!! parenting.....as hard as it will be...ignore this unless YOU want to challenge where it leaves/affects YOU

scheming_gypsy

Advice_wanted wrote: »

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[FONT=&quot]I really am torn about what to do. What do you guys think? I want the least painful but fairest option.
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Advice_wanted wrote: »

OK thanks guys. I really want to do what is the "right" thing .

be happy for your dad then. Just because he's your dad and married to your mum it doesn't mean he's happy when they clearly not a couple. If your dad meets somebody else or 27 somebody elses, then be happy for him seeing as him and your mum don't seem to be working out

halibut2209

I have loads of these emails.

BugglyB

Advice_wanted wrote: »

[FONT=&quot]I really am torn about what to do. What do you guys think? I want the least painful but fairest option. [/FONT]

1. Don't say anything about what you have seen
2. As soon as humanly possible, move out of the family home, even if it means other sacrifices.

Its the only way you will save your sanity!