coping

jeanniebeanie_2

holly_vegas wrote: »

thanks
i guess i just have to try and stop thinking about things that are worrying me that i can do nothing about

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday!

bleh

I go to the gym and watch programmes/films that make me smile. It takes me out of my own world. Sometimes you have to realise, theres people who are worse off out there.

3v3

holly_vegas wrote: »

hi all


just wondered what other people do to cope when they feel really alone and miserable, how people distract themselves from anxiety? i find it really hard to do
tia

How's it going for you today, Holly?

Have you found any useful tactics, that may help you, in the responses?

BillTrac

Nice idea bleh, but sometimes other people's problems can make you feel sad but not diminish your own problems.

I am a 54 year old bloke. I know there are people much, much worse off than me. Doesn't stop me feeling like s**t though. When you feel down and miserable then it is difficult to snap yourself out of the blues.

Several months ago my stbxw and myself agreed to go our seperate ways after 35 years of marriage. Last 15 years extremely difficult. A couple of months ago I met a lady who I thought was a friend who I could talk to, have the company of. I was more than happy with that. Nothing physical at all. Been out for a few meals etc. We went out for a drink and a snack last week, all very relaxed and comfortable. Now she has decided she doesn't want anymore to do with me. No reason, excuse, explanation.

Now that makes me feel like crap, doesn't stop me feeling sympathy for anyone suffering worse hardships.

Doesn't stop me feeling like my world has ended though as I have absolutely no-one to talk to. And I know t my age I will be written off in life if nothing else

Holly vegas, sorry I seem to have hijacked your thread.

I may have missed how young you are. Hopefully your feelings of misery will be shortlived and someone will come into your life who will be there for you. I wish you well.

aliasojo

I find very little distracts me. No matter what I do, read, watch dvd's, tidy up, walk etc, I just can't switch my brain off and the same thoughts just churn around in there over and over again. It's a personality failing imo but for the life of me, I just can't change it.

I usually end up posting a thread about it all on here then arguing with those who get on my case about posting personal info on here. :rotfl: By the time all that's over I'm either laughing at them or wanting to slap them with a wet fish, but either way, it takes my mind off my original troubles.

Of course I also get a lot of genuine support here and a lot of MSE'rs have been my salvation at low times, I think I would have spent many a time a lot lower without them. I am by nature, a talker and a sharer, I find I only really ever feel better once I've offloaded. I don't want to pry but if talking might help you, go right ahead, I'm sure there are a few shoulders around here.

@ makemewise...laughed at the john bishop comment, I'm with you there.

3v3

BillTrac wrote: »

...
I am a 54 year old bloke. I know there are people much, much worse off than me. Doesn't stop me feeling like s**t though. When you feel down and miserable then it is difficult to snap yourself out of the blues.

....

So saddened to read your post and the underlying message that @ 54yo you have written off the potential to seek and find a soul mate

It is never a competition on how !!!!!! one can feel, so never compare the "others much worse off" scenario, but I do get that it is difficult to snap out of the blues. The reality to you is the real marker

You are still in your prime, even though life has kicked you where it hurts; that was a long marriage!

I met a lady at the hairdressers a few weeks ago, she was bubbling over with excitement (it was the day of her 70th birthday - but she looked not a day over 55!). As we chatted, it transpired that she had herself a "toyboy" of 56! They met at a dance and he had no idea of her age - which is quite believable, her joy of life was contagious! She had been widowed for 10yrs and had finally found someone she could have a good time with - but she was adamant they would not live together :rotfl: - but wouldn't be without him

Just ... never say "never"

Lotus-eater

holly_vegas wrote: »

thanks
i guess i just have to try and stop thinking about things that are worrying me that i can do nothing about

Ah yes, that's one thing my OH swears by, if you can't change it, don't worry about it. Once you accept that it is the case, your life will be much easier.
I'm trying, but I haven't reached her level of serenity yet

Metranil_Vavin

As my mother says 'what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger'! Not very helpful but it makes me chuckle!
Seriously though, I am a natural born worrier..always worrying..even if things to an outsider seem to be going tickerty boo.
I worried for ages that I had left it too late to have a baby, got pregnant, then worried myself sick for 9 months that something would go wrong with the pregnancy, then worried when my perfect son was born that I wasn't going to be able to cope..etc etc and on it goes!
My latest is worrying constantly about whether I am going to be able to return to work..lots of factors in play there, but I am desperately trying not to let it spoil the rest of my maternity leave.
Sigh..lots of good suggestions on this thread, for me it would be talking to someone..a close friend or my mum or sister, and realising that everyone has worries/anxieties. No matter how perfect someones life may look from the outside, there is always stuff going on behind the scenes that no one sees.