Legal Options for girlfriend moving in with me

Teresa_Green

GSXRCarlos wrote: »

if i don't, we split up and she moves out, with no additional cost to herself.

Purely hypothetically, but what if the house has dropped in value - does she then owe me a percentage of the loss in value while she's lived there?

So you would leave her homeless, no hard feelings though, eh?

I am attempting to get you to see that you are not being fair to her in trying to protect yourself so absolutely financially.

If the relationship is good enough to consider living together and moving towards the next stages then why do you not appear to trust her?

I do think it would be fairer to go into this together from the start or not at all. If you are not ready yet then wait?

(To answer your question about if the house goes down in value then yes, that is part of being a home / property owner as much as trust and sharing are part of being in a serious loving relationship?).

Teresa_Green

GSXRCarlos wrote: »

Thanks for all of your input, i don't want this to turn into a slanging match, but Teresa, what would you do if you'd invested £15,000 of your savings in a house, then spent a further 5-10k doing it up and met someone who had nothing. would you just let them move in and hope everything goes well?

Nope, see my post above.

Don't worry, I am not trying to get into any slanging match either, just trying to give you sound advice and maybe some food for thought!

sonastin

Teresa - you are only hearing one side. She could equally be posting saying "what should I do to make sure I don't find myself out on my ear without a penny to my name". My advice to here in this scenario is to save the money that she isn't paying out in rent so that she has a deposit available should it go wrong. If she chooses to p*ss her money up the wall while the OP is keeping his head down and working hard to pay his mortgage, why should he then hand over even more money if the relationship breaks down.

It is possible to manage the financial side of a relationship separately from the emotional side. Sometimes it is failing to separate them which causes the relationship to break down.

When my fiance chucked his ex out of his house, she had managed to save enough cash to buy herself a flat mortgage-free. Yet she still claimed an entitlement to his property. Luckily her "contributions" were only groceries and a few bits of furniture, but he still had to borrow money to pay her back for the furniture so she didn't fight him for even more.

It cuts both ways and it is down to each partner to protect their own interests.

MushyPeas

Before anymore discussions I really recommend the link I mentioned in DirectGov, it explains all of these issues and who is entitled to what :-)

GSXRCarlos

Teresa, one of the problems with internet forums is not being able to see the colour of someone's eys when you're trying to have a serious conversation, so i do appreciate your input

I'm not actually as cold and calculating as my posts probably read, i'd be more concerned the other way that should the worst happen, she can walk away, leaving me with no option other tahn to sell my house to pay her off, for something that is mine, and i can handle myself without her.

I'd like the extra cash that she's bring, and want to know how to do it safely without expposing myself to all the risk of losing the house.

I can't afford to start all over again - everything i have ever saved (and even spent on credit cards) is tied up in the house

GSXRCarlos

MushyPeas wrote: »

Before anymore discussions I really recommend the link I mentioned in DirectGov, it explains all of these issues and who is entitled to what :-)

it's open in another tab, just haven't read it yet :beer:

MushyPeas

GSXRCarlos wrote: »

I'd like the extra cash that she's bring, and want to know how to do it safely without expposing myself to all the risk of losing the house.

And I'm sure for her (as me and OH have calculated) it will be cheaper for her to live with you and she can benefit from saving extra money incase she ever 1) had to move out (no-one, however romantic, can ever predict the future) or after a year or so 2) make a contribution to the mortgage deposit and legally be written into the deeds etc. We're also going to keep track of who pays into what for furniture etc. Sounds callous, but we're both protecting ourselves after both being burned in the past by ex-OH and being left with nothing!

After previously living with an ex who burned cash and didn't keep track of money, I feel more comfortable that we're sorting out who owns what etc. so (I hope) there will be no unexpected financial suprises.

I think you're being very sensible

BitterAndTwisted

GSXRCarlos wrote: »

I'd like the extra cash that she'd bring, and want to know how to do it safely without expposing myself to all the risk of losing the house.

You don't accept any payments from her which could later be construed as rent or contributions towards your mortgage. You can't have it both ways.

It won't cost you any more to have her staying with you other than an increase in the CTax, groceries and utilities. Therefore that should be what she pays 50% towards and nothing else.

No furniture. No share of repairs and maintenance. No improvements and no decorating. No holidays paid for in lieu. Nothing.

Teresa_Green

GSXRCarlos wrote: »

Teresa, one of the problems with internet forums is not being able to see the colour of someone's eys when you're trying to have a serious conversation, so i do appreciate your input

No problem, I understand

Think carefully and seek advice as you are doing, but remember:

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

You can't have it both ways

SandC

Beneficial interest needs to be established and if it isn't established it has to be proven by the claimant at the time they are claiming. You are all giving the OP the impression that if she spends any money whatsoever on a bit of wallpapering or something that she'll walk away part of the equity of the house!

Put it this way, I bought my house 15 years ago. If someone moved in with me right now from a rented property then we split up in a year's time, there is no judge in the country who would award him anything, unless he'd paid for a full refurb on the place. And if I got a solicitor who told me what he would I'd bin them and get another one who could talk some sense.

Financial awards regarding relationships etc. often boil down to whose solicitor shouts the loudest - how many people do you know who have got 'stung' in that way didn't actually get to court (probably because of the all the legal costs already built up) but whose solicitor bowed down to theirs?

Having said all that, I understand your worries because of this myth that perpetuates about entitlement. It boils down to nothing is automatic from a legal point of view. And even when a short marriage breaks down it's common for each person to leave with what they came with, or equivalent.