road rage

pug_in_a_bed

i dont know how to describe what happened to me earlier. i'm ashamed of my behaviour and i brought what happened on myself. i hate myself at the moment

i was driving home, paused to turn right so was waiting in the middle of the road to turn to let traffic go. someone beeped behind me, couldn't go as traffic coming obviously. then a large car tried to turn in as i was turning - luckily he stopped.

drove down the road next to a park, some boys rode on bikes into the road so i slowed down quite a bit and waited for them to cross. the guy behind me was shouting but i thought it can't possbily at me, he can see the kids.

at the junction ahead to turn left, i stopped to give way although no traffic, buts its blind to the left so you have to edge out.

guy behind me slipped round me and over took me just as i moved out and i swered onto the pavement.

i shouted at him out the window. he shouted back, swore etc.

and then i lost my temper, i out my foot down and followed him until he came to a stop a few minutes later. i stopped next to him and roared at him again, you know beeps etc.

i pulled up and got out of my car (i''m 5ft nothing), parked up and went over, carried on shouting etc, he said i was too slow.

His driving was dangerous and erratic and when i got near i felt he had been drinking, cue more yelling and him goading me to call the police. i took the reg etc. when i got home i called the police and gave his reg

however, it was the abuse he gave me that was the worst thing. he began to shout at me about how ugly i was, how fat i was, how i'll never get married because i'm so fat and so on. as i walked away he was shouting why don't you lose some weight and so.

i brought all this on myself - its all true. i'm a 20-22, with adult acne to boot.

i don't know how to describe how it made me feel.

it was hearing the worst things you think about yourself, from someone else.

i have a terrible temper and although it blows only a few times a year, when it goes...i got myself into this situation, i shouldn't have lost my temper.

i've been called very similar names etc on a different occasion but someone i didn't know on the street, unprovoked in that case.

the worse thing is my dad has always had a shocking temper and awful road rage. when i was a kid, we actually saw him and another man fight in the middle of the road. on one occasion he grabbed a man and pulled him out of the car through the window.

yesterday we were out for five minutes when dad pulled out without indicating although thought he had. cue a shouting match and my dad trying to get out whilst i held the door; it was like black comedy - i was pressing the electric window up so he couldn't shout and he was pressing it down again. i roared at him afterwards, that he wasn't a young man and it was so childish and i said ' dad, you weren't indicating and you didn't look' which i think he realised.

my dad is a good person with many flaws and this is one, albeit a really bad one - although he has calmed a lot in his twilight years.



and then today i go and do this.

i'm hurt and upset but i brought it on myself - not just this strangers abuse, but the way i am.

a few weeks ago, we were going to a family wedding. i tried on a dress for my sister, and she burst out 'oh my god! you've put on so much weight!'. She couldn't stop herself, she said she was shocked - i normally wear baggy hoodys etc and i guess she hadn't realised. i trust her to always be honest with me though, and i guess she was:o

i didn't go to the wedding:/

you read in magazines these stories of women who pledged to lose weight and did after something shocked them into, like 'i was so horrified when i became trapped in my car i promised to lose weight', i was so upset that i broke the chair that i...'

i know i'm overweight, i used to be a size 12. put on all the weight firstly after a bad breakup.

i've been on anti depressants a few years which help. but these things seem to store up and make me feel like whats the point in losing weight, i'll only mess that up too.

i was depressed when i was slim and depressed when overweight.

pfffftttt i don't know.

i asked my boyfriend if he felt like i had tricked him, because i was slim when we met, bless his heart he told me he would love me regardless.

we're going on holiday next week, and the first thing i thought after today was that i would feel afraid to go out or on the beach because people would be looking at me.

i don't know why i've posted actually. i just feel like there are just terrible people in the world, and i'm one of them.

paddy's_mum

But can't you see that his spiteful mouth is at one with his spiteful driving?

tizerbelle

You are not one of the "terrible" people. Okay you have flaws, so what? We all do but at least you know what your's are. Many, many people out there have no self-awareness/emotional intelligence.

You have a boyfriend who loves you and wants to be seen with you - why else would he be with you or going on holiday with you. So you can't be that terrible and no one who is loved is worthless or a waste of space or a disappointment or any of the negative thoughts racing through your head.

We all have bad days and very occassionally, very bad days and despite our knowledge of ourselves we let the controls slip and explode. Don't worry about, instead learn from it.

I used to get really angry when driving, I taught myself not to worry about other drivers and you know what, I don't. If someone needs to cut me up to feel big, I let them - don't even beep my horn and you know what now I often see other drivers acknowledging what a prannock the other driver was and how I was the better driver to ignore their stupidity. A shared smile and head shake that says it all.

You've vented now, just let it go and forget it. And if it helps, give the moron an "excuse" for his behaviour i.e. he's been impotent for 6 months and he's just found out his wife has been having it away with his best friend for the past 5 months.

Debbie_A_3

Hi!
I'm sorry to hear about your troubles this evening. Try to put this specific incident behind you if you can: no one got hurt (physically) and no property was damaged. Words are not easy to get over, though, especially when you are at the end of your tether.

Is your boyfriend around to give you a big hug?
Debbie

Pee

If everyone was as nasty as you... the world would be a pretty nice place.

Ok so when some idiot nearly smashes up your car, you slightly overreact. Great you are human.

Does this touch on some other issues for you, like would you like to be married to your boyfriend? You have to work out what you want before you can aim to get it.

meritaten

hun? You arent horrible - you waited patiently in the first instance - then again in the second! so you gave this road hog a peice of your mind and he retaliated with insults! you could have been jodie kidd and he would have insulted her! called her anorexic and stupid etc!
at least you didnt hit him or vandalise his car - which I probably would have! stupid git! (him not you). No harm done so forget it! you are a better person than him - realise that hun and put him out of your mind!

McKneff

Cant help but agree with everyone else,

Ignore the pillock, he doesnt deserve any of yur precious time wasting on him.
What a !!!!!! he was from start to finish.

Your OH thinks youre a lovely lady, you have no right to argue with him.:D

Learn from it and put it behind you.

and breathe...........................

annei

DUTR

pug_in_a_bed wrote: »

i dont know how to describe what happened to me earlier. i'm ashamed of my behaviour and i brought what happened on myself. i hate myself at the moment

i was driving home, paused to turn right so was waiting in the middle of the road to turn to let traffic go. someone beeped behind me, couldn't go as traffic coming obviously. then a large car tried to turn in as i was turning - luckily he stopped.

drove down the road next to a park, some boys rode on bikes into the road so i slowed down quite a bit and waited for them to cross. the guy behind me was shouting but i thought it can't possbily at me, he can see the kids.

at the junction ahead to turn left, i stopped to give way although no traffic, buts its blind to the left so you have to edge out.

guy behind me slipped round me and over took me just as i moved out and i swered onto the pavement.

i shouted at him out the window. he shouted back, swore etc.

and then i lost my temper, i out my foot down and followed him until he came to a stop a few minutes later. i stopped next to him and roared at him again, you know beeps etc.

i pulled up and got out of my car (i''m 5ft nothing), parked up and went over, carried on shouting etc, he said i was too slow.

His driving was dangerous and erratic and when i got near i felt he had been drinking, cue more yelling and him goading me to call the police. i took the reg etc. when i got home i called the police and gave his reg

however, it was the abuse he gave me that was the worst thing. he began to shout at me about how ugly i was, how fat i was, how i'll never get married because i'm so fat and so on. as i walked away he was shouting why don't you lose some weight and so.

i brought all this on myself - its all true. i'm a 20-22, with adult acne to boot.

i don't know how to describe how it made me feel.

it was hearing the worst things you think about yourself, from someone else.

i have a terrible temper and although it blows only a few times a year, when it goes...i got myself into this situation, i shouldn't have lost my temper.

i've been called very similar names etc on a different occasion but someone i didn't know on the street, unprovoked in that case.

the worse thing is my dad has always had a shocking temper and awful road rage. when i was a kid, we actually saw him and another man fight in the middle of the road. on one occasion he grabbed a man and pulled him out of the car through the window.

yesterday we were out for five minutes when dad pulled out without indicating although thought he had. cue a shouting match and my dad trying to get out whilst i held the door; it was like black comedy - i was pressing the electric window up so he couldn't shout and he was pressing it down again. i roared at him afterwards, that he wasn't a young man and it was so childish and i said ' dad, you weren't indicating and you didn't look' which i think he realised.

my dad is a good person with many flaws and this is one, albeit a really bad one - although he has calmed a lot in his twilight years.



and then today i go and do this.

i'm hurt and upset but i brought it on myself - not just this strangers abuse, but the way i am.

a few weeks ago, we were going to a family wedding. i tried on a dress for my sister, and she burst out 'oh my god! you've put on so much weight!'. She couldn't stop herself, she said she was shocked - i normally wear baggy hoodys etc and i guess she hadn't realised. i trust her to always be honest with me though, and i guess she was:o

i didn't go to the wedding:/

you read in magazines these stories of women who pledged to lose weight and did after something shocked them into, like 'i was so horrified when i became trapped in my car i promised to lose weight', i was so upset that i broke the chair that i...'

i know i'm overweight, i used to be a size 12. put on all the weight firstly after a bad breakup.

i've been on anti depressants a few years which help. but these things seem to store up and make me feel like whats the point in losing weight, i'll only mess that up too.

i was depressed when i was slim and depressed when overweight.

pfffftttt i don't know.

i asked my boyfriend if he felt like i had tricked him, because i was slim when we met, bless his heart he told me he would love me regardless.

we're going on holiday next week, and the first thing i thought after today was that i would feel afraid to go out or on the beach because people would be looking at me.

i don't know why i've posted actually. i just feel like there are just terrible people in the world, and i'm one of them.

With so many events happening on one journey, it is difficult to assume it must be everybody else, I suspect you live in a city (and a fast moving one) progression is the key, if you don't want to progress at the rate of those behind you let then let them pass, let the police deal with them if they are driving erratically.
Also check if any of the tablets etc you are taking causes drowsiness, I say that as one time I was on some medicine and had a few bad days driving, before I realised it was the medicine that was cuasing me problems, my mind was awake or so I thought but my body was asleep which also made me ratty

Little_Ole_Me

Stop being so hard on yourself op.

mummyoftwomonkeys

Just wanted to leave you a message hun I don't have anything different to say to the other posters but I really felt for you when I read your post (hugs). I have a very short fuse we joke about it in our family because my granddad, my dad, me and many other members uncles, aunties cousins etc all lose it over silly things not funny really but it seems to be a family trait. You have a lovely b/f by the sounds of it ignore that idiot, it is very hard to lose weight my husband is 16 stone and I have been trying for a long time to get him into a healthy way of thinking, not because I don't find him any less attractive but because we have 2 young sons and I want him to be around to see them grow up. Don't feel bad x

RuthnJasper

Pug - you are NOT an awful person. OK - the temper thing isn't good, but you have the intelligence to know that your reactions weren't ideal and the courage to come onto this thread and talk about it.

We are all different, with our individual strengths and weaknesses. And thank goodness - what a boring place the world would be if we were all exactly the same.

It sounds like (and please forgive me if I'm wrong) you would really like a better way of dealing with your inherited personality trait than exploding in fury. Have you ever considered an anger management course? One of my colleagues at work did one - he's such a nice guy, but had trouble controlling himself sometimes - and he still maintains it's the best thing he ever did.

I can understand that you might not want to/might not have time to pursue such an option, so here is a book that you might like to have a squint at: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Anger-Irritability-William-Davies/dp/1849011311/ref=pd_sim_b_4. I have other problems (oddly enough, I cannot get angry, among other issues, which is equally unhealthy!) and have used two other books in the same series as this one, which were recommended to me by my hospital psychiatrist.

I cannot overstate how helpful the books were to me. The chapters have case-studies and interesting, useful, relevant information and quizzes/exercises which you can work through by yourself, at your own pace. And no-one ever needs to know that you are using the book to help yourself to sort things out a bit.

I hope this is helpful. But please don't beat yourself up. The guy in the car behind you was a complete ar$£ and drove very dangerously. I'd have been angry too. Your reaction was extreme - but, as I said, you are savvy enough to realise it. And that, to my mind, makes you a pretty all right sort-of person.

I wish you all the very best. Keep smiling! xx