Friends don't understand when I say have no money

quantic

I know how this feels, I started a thread about a very similar subject which made it to the featured posts in the MSE weekly email (so clearly others feel the same). We went to a wedding not so long ago, the bride and groom had requested money for the wedding, and all of my OH's friends had put £50 in a letter for them. We couldn't afford this at the time (having already bought a suit - didn't own one) and paid for hen do etc etc.. so we gave them a lovely photoframe which cost about £20, we where basically sniggered at.

People are so material these days, the fact that you where at the wedding should have been enough, selfish pigs.

chuckley

thats no 'friend'. what a vile and disgusting self absorbed person she is. Im actually flabbergasted she 1. hated the idea of a handmade card and 2. thought she'd 'embarrass' you publicly about it.

DROP this wench. shes totally not worth it. You'll find she wont even notice you've dropped her.... most of them never do!

LovelyLeeds

I'd print out this thread and post it to her along with an invitation to yours for a nice cup of tea and a chat to resolve things.

wannabedebtfree_2

What a horrible person, I think you are better off without friends like that. I would just not bother with someone so shallow!

I think weddings are incredibly expensive for guests, and when you have very little money it is an absolute nightmare.

Last year my bro got married and unfortunately we live at opposite ends of the country.

I gave them a photo frame with £20 inside it, so total cost around £30, and most people had given them a lot more, I felt awful.

However, when you factor in the rest of the costs the wedding had actually cost me an absolute fortune;

Me - I had nothing suitable for a wedding so I had to buy a dress, a shrug, and shoes = £56 altogether.

OH - had a suit (years old) but needed a shirt, tie and some shoes = £36

DS - had nothing but jeans, so he needed trousers, shirt, tie and shoes = £43 (couldn't afford to buy him suit!)

DD - was a bridesmaid, I bought the dress in the local branch of the nationwide store so that she could try it on, was supposed to be paid back but they've just celebrated their 1st anniversary and I haven't seen it yet! Thankfully it was in the sale, so I don't begrudge them, they have it tight too! I also had to do her hair myself, so I spent a fortune on things to go on the hair, in the hair, special contraptions to hold it into place, and then in the end I bought some curling rods and she had it curly, and new underwear that wouldn't show through the dress = £26 on dress and undies and £42 on hair related stuff!

Then there was the diesel for the 500 mile round trip = £90

And of course the hotel for the evening = £45 (travelodge with breakfast free for the kids!)

So all in all it cost just under £370 for us to go! I did make the comment to my brother and his wfie that had I not attended they could have had a couple of hundred quid instead of a photo frame - but then to be honest I couldn't have afforded to have sent them that money even if I hadn't attended, but we scraped it together somehow. I wouldn't have missed it for the world though.

out_of_the_dark

Personally I would say "f*ck 'em" true friends wouldn't care if you had had no money and would understand and appreciate your situation, and merely by turning up - you demonstrated your friendship.

Take a hard line - sever the friendship and concentrate on your studies and on real friends who are not materialistic.

OOTD

heatherks

obviously someone who is very spolit ..if its cards and presnts is all she was interested in .....instead of her friends whom she invited to spend her special day with and very childish even mentioning it in her social circle is unbelievable

..i have taught my kids thateven birthday parties are for enjoying themselves with their guests / friends ..not how much money / gifts they recieve

Frankie100

What a horrible friend

I was very skint a few weeks ago and I was invited to a friends 50th birthday party which I knew I couldnt say no to.
Anyway I went to our local car boot and found a lovely watch in a beautifull box,it cost me just £1,then I found some lovely smellies that were sealed and upopened,I haggled her down from £2 to £1 (yes i was really that skint).I felt embaressed when I gave them to her but the night went well.
When I saw her in work she said she was over the moon with the prezzies and she absolutly loved her watch.So for a total of £2 and a 45p card from Card Factory I made my friend very happy.
And I,ll be back at the car boot for my Christmas prezzies too,you would be amazed at the bargains you can find at car boots.
Ignore your ignorant so called friend sweetheart,she just isnt a friend.

satchmo1

It's worth remembering....."those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind".

Hugs, Satchmo x

Frankie100

satchmo1 wrote: »

It's worth remembering....."those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind".

Hugs, Satchmo x

Hey Jedward said that on last nights Big Brother,clever lads!! lol:T

Damita

Agree with the others, I have had many many times when I can't afford to go out, your real friends will understand, and just to add I love homemade cards, I really love them and make them all the time.