Friends don't understand when I say have no money

amersall

I would love a handmade card :)
shows i was actually thought about, and no one else would have the same card as me

With friends like her,you certainly dont need enemies

chappers

With friends like that be glad you didn't waste any money on a present.
If I found out someone was slagging me off like that to other friends, next time we were out in a social group I would let her have it both barrels(verbally that is, although she probably deserves shooting).

Loobeyloop

I've lost touch with all my "friends" as I couldn't afford to keep up with them, and my excuses not to go out/live like them, they ditched me, don't blame them I'd get fed up with continuous turn downs, and me feeling miserable and stressed all the time, feel lonely now but they obviously weren't real friends...hoping to make some real ones again one day..... but there are some really lovely people on here, who understand what you are going through, I'm in the market for a mate lol!!

elaine12022

Firstly, yes, I think it's very sad that the effort you made to attend her wedding and make a unique card seem to have been unappreciated. I have just been invited to a wedding, and the invite specifically says that gifts are not necessary, they want people just to share their happy day.

If this person has been a good friend, and you still want to spend time with her, why not invite her over for a cheap/cost-free evening/afternoon together? Maybe if she has more money she genuinely doesn't realise your situation (and has probably been absorbed in wedding plans) and thinks that you don't want to spend time with her, and the money is an excuse.

If she still insists on being a prima donna, leave her alone & find new friends!

geoffky

Have it out with her..she will be the one who is embarrassed. Do not let this pass without defending yourself.

kazwookie

I'd be doing with out her, get some new friends.

Good luck

Tebheag

True friends would not judge you, in these times if a friend made me a card I would think that was worth alot more than a shop bought one as took them time which is more valuable in my eyes and more thoughtful. Also true frinds will stay in touch and understand if you do not have the money to go out as they will pop over to see you or happily wait for you to get in touch when you are ready. I hope you find some better friends.

Butti

Clueless,

I have to tell you I don't think it is you that is clueless, more your friend.

When I did nursing 25 years ago we got a salary. It wasn't much but at least someone was paying us to train ourselves up and not expecting us to pay for ourselves for 3-4 years.

Did you tell this friend truly the scenario you are living in......not earning and simply building student debt. If you value her (clearly more than she values you) maybe you should spell it out to her along with how much time you spent on her card.

Personally I think she's a bit cruel and not very nice but maybe she was just having a bad day.

I've been out with my friend to the cinema tonight. It's orange Wednesday so he's paid for him and I've gone free. He understands he's a personnel manager and I'm unemployed but wants to spend time with me.

Tomorrow I'll be making a birthday pressie for my friend. It will be two sewn lavander sachets for her drawers and a £3 Picasso mirror for her handbag. I'm sure she'll love it but then she appreciates she's working as a teacher and I'm unemployed.

Really spell it out clearly to your friend. Show her your budget. Tell her you were really hurt by her comments and if she doesn't get it dump her.

The bottom line is this isn't forever and if she is mature and a true friend she will understand that. It's !!!! (I'm not enjoying my financial desert either) but it's not forever.

Chin up

B

cazziebo

clueless - you're wonderful:T You're investing in a career which will make a difference to people's lives and make a real contribution to society. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about that.

A few years ago one of my friends got married. I had a really well paying job, but was in so much debt at the time I couldn't afford a present. Geez- I could hardly afford to get through a month never mind go to the wedding. (pre MSE days!) I did go, and it was one of the best weddings I'd ever been to. She always said it was far more important I was there, presents didn't matter.

Thanks to all you lovely MSE people, especially the non judgemental people on this part of the board - I'm now spectacularly better off because I'm now debt free and the money I earn is my own, not paying for carp I've bought months ago. I'm now in a position where I can get friend and her hubby lovely anniversary presents. This isn't because I feel I have to, just because they obviously make each other so happy every year is something to celebrate. :beer:

As other posters have said, if your "friend" truly measures friendship in terms of gifts then she's not a real friend. However, do make allowances for bad days, hormones, stress. Importantly, don't let anyone make you feel small. As Butti says, this isn't forever.

gargrave50

I battled through my days as a student midwife without too much carnage. By some miracle I managed to hold down a part-time job (but with a husband, small son and a house to run that wasn't optional!:p).

I ebayed everything DS grew out of and things we simply didn't use.
When buying groceries, I used my clubcard to earn points for treats e.g. cinema tickets.
I used every trick on this site for "cheap" entertainment, whether that be free trials on lovefilm with cashback (thank you quidco and top cashback;)), or batch cooking with reduced meat (my family never ate so well).

There are ways and means to build up a small entertainment budget, but don't waste it on people who don't appreciate the effort it takes to scrape funds together.:T