Depression

learning_to_drive

Oh and LRS - Happy birthday!

Tulip

:hello: everyone,

I have had a nice evening watching tv.I was watching Katie Price and Peter Andre the Next Chapter on ITV2,before I saw that was Eastenders and then Holby City,No Casualty on Saturday as its Eurovision song contest and I like Scootch,their song is amazing Isnt it strange when you get a song in your head which just wont go away .

Well I will chat to you all tomorrow


lots of love,

Katie xxx

Tiff_2

Hi ltd!:hello:
How are you hun? Glad you found some time to post - I was starting to worry.;)

quote=learning_to_drive

I did 4 hours at Smiths, did a lot of thinking, and spoke to a lad who had very similar problems to me, he had a idea for a business venture and was doing 3 days a week whilst doing that in his spare time, it got me thinking, what direction was my life heading? I was chasing something in retail that I was never gonna get again, my life was heading nowhere and I was working myself up because I thought I would never acheive anything. I realised I didnt want retail and I had just been trying to get back in my life what I had before and hoping that things would change. Not so.
Well done hun. Most of us want to put our lives back to the way it was before things went 'wrong', hoping it'll make everything all right but it doesn't work like that.
We can't go back and maybe it's those rose tinted glasses that make everything look so good with hindsight.
We've all had experiences that have set us off on a different path so it wouldn't work even if we could turn the clock back - we're different people now and it wouldn't work. Everyone changes and grows through time, not just those who have mental ill health problems.

But it's still scary because we can't see what's ahead - that's why we want to go back imho. Familiar seems better but if we keep looking back over our shoulder to what was, we're not paying attention to what could be.;)

So I decided to leave, in my dinner hour I spoke to my g/f who supported me so much and said I sounded really clear and happy, not down at all. I went off to job agencies and registered with them, and decided that whilst I cant decide what to do, I need money and weekly pay coupled with the short termism of contracts helps me just focus day to day. I
This seems like a good decision hun and I'm glad g/f is supportive.

I went back to the boss and spoke to her, said it wasnt for me and I wanted to get out before wasting anymore time, I was just too nervous at the start and it really didnt feel right, in the build up it did, but the overall feel for the place never happened, I just couldnt get into it, and couldnt take the risk of being down again.
So Ive done that and I start tomorrow in a IT place just temping, for 3 months, Ive decided (with gf) to defer Uni for a year to get rid of debts totally, part of it is getting my head right for work so i can clear my debts, as you will see, i am not doing too badly at the minute with debt clearing.
That's good hun. I'm glad the debts are going down too. I know how badly you want to clear your debts angel - just don't forget to clear your mind too.;) Right now temping seems to be a good option for you and 3 months is a good chunk of guaranteed work.:T

However I have an interview lined up at a head office of a company, that role could be good and will give me some money to play with for 2008 uni.
!!!
Weren't you just saying that temping is the best idea for now hun?

Its important to go with a longer term plan in mind (teaching for me) so that you dont get frustrated and down, always have plenty in your life, not just work, for too long I had just work and built everything around it, when that came crashing down (over something i had no influence over) I couldnt change anything and lost everything pretty much.
Very wise angel. Life should have a mix, with a variety of parts to it. As they say, don't put all your kittens :rolleyes:, in one basket!

Had I had everything in my life built around work, then if owt went wrong at work, at least I had a relationship, hobbies and my family, like what Ive done now, with my g/f and Milli, our daughter who Ive taken on and she will call me daddy hopefully.

Ive resolved to do some studying part time in 2007 September, hopefully ill get some credit for the year that i do and then can use that basis to build on, and go to uni debt free and really work so hard to make as much money as possible, ive always been a worker, ive just had a few issues that have prevented me from working, which has frustrated me in turn lead to financial difficulty and then its a viscous circle, hopefully thats over now and I can start to live my life and enjoy things instead of worrying about things.
Another problem I seem to have is idolising strong people, Roy Keane being a notable one at the minute, I want to be like them and achieve, a lot of peopple say to me, you are only 21, calm down, sometimes its good to remember that.
I'd agree with them hun. One minute you seem to be telling me that you're going to take things slower and then we're back to the conquest planning angel. Not many people have their lives mapped out at 30, let alone 21 hun.;) Planning and ambition is good if it's not a set of strictly planned targets. Ltd hun...
CALM DOWN!!!;)

I find writing everything down here very carthaic, It clears my head, I speak with my g/f a lot more, I am so so thankful to her for helping me, Im lucky to have such a great support and without her, I wouldnt have got very far at all. So thanks :-) (she may read this).
I'm really pleased for you hun. It's important to talk to your partner if you can. No communication tends to lead to assumptions. I'm sure your g/f appreciates you.

Im going to MIND for some counselling, I think a stint of therapy / counselling would help me reflect on what has happened and move on in my life, and focus on the future, if anyone else knows of cheap places then Id appreciate it /quote
I think this is also a good idea angel.:T Are you on the NHS list hun? You could always chase that up ltd - maybe ask for another assessment if you're feeling worse?Saneline and Rethink may be other options for you so look at their websites and see.
Good luck ltd - I'm glad you seem happier. Just don't over-think things ok?;) Take care hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi gilly!:hello:
Missed you hun - how are you?

quote=gillette147
Wow this board is livening up!
I've put the heating on it's so cold today.
I feel really funny today. Not showered yet. Feel bored but don't want to do anything either. My exams are in a month and a sensible person would start revising. But after two weeks before I was going stir crazy - so I don't want to peak too soon. Also hopefully alot of what I knew is already in there somewhere. 18 of the 21 modules are the same as the other course I did. So it's just 3 new bits and a refresher.
Makes sense gilly hun. Sometimes it can work against you, to timetable every piece of revision - if your head's not there, there's no point in scheduling it. Try and read in bits and pieces for now and then work up to a scheduled revision angel maybe?;) Good luck with the exams hun.:T

Life is feeling very samey at the moment. My g/f was here fri-sun but after two days alone it feels like life is dull. I'm trapped in MSE hoping for something interesting but it's even dull in here (not this thread - the Arms).
Just want to pig out and lie down. But actually that isn't making me happy either. I think I'm getting scared again about my current unsustainable life - but also fearing going back to work, any work.
I don't like being a grown up sometimes./quote
Bless you hun. There can come a point where you're over-rested and you can't imagine being in another place or being able to cope with it.
What is it about work hun that worries you? I think my last post said that I thought you seemed to have an issue with work and what you've written here confirms that. Is it because of the changes it would involve hun? Taking you out of your comfort zone? You'll have to be brutally honest with yourself in your answers.
Pin down what it is hun. Did you tell your old counsellor how you felt on this gilly? It would be a good idea to see a different counsellor to focus on this issue angel.;) Maybe this is why counselling didn't work last time so well for you angel?
Ignoring it just makes it a bigger issue the next time the subject comes up. Be really honest with your gp angel and tell them how you really feel. They may be more sympathetic than you think hun. Get help to identify your issues gilly hun and then you'll be half way to resolving them.

I know angel - we spend the first 20 years of our life wishing we were older and then the next 60 regretting that we are!:rolleyes: In cat years, I'd have been stuffed and mounted many years ago!:D
Look after yourself gilly badger - thinking of you.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Learning_To_Drive, I thought my rock bottom was back in Feb Oh well I guess the only way is up now I was actually thinking of handing in my notice at work. I will think on it over the weekend.

I'm glad to hear that you are enjoying work. It makes such a difference when people are nice doesn't it. Hope it continues to go well for you.

How is the football going? I know a few weeks ago it was getting to you, just wondered if things are better now?

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Karrie I searched on Google for 'glitter graphics' and found quite a few

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Hello Tulip I watched those programmes too I'm really liking Katie Price and Peter Andre the Next Chapter. They come across as a really lovely, caring couple.

lol the other day I couldn't get the scooch song out of my head. It's quite catchy actually.

Hope you are looking after yourself Katie. x

Sugar_Coated_Owl

xxx

Karrie

Thanks RBK gonna go have a look

Karrie

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