Depression

Tiff_2

Hi miro hun!:hello:
Thanks for posting angel. We've missed you. I'm sorry you're feeling so low miro.

Miro hun, from the start you have been a gentleman as you say, you've been kind and thoughtful and you've done everything you could to make this into a romance.
From the synopsis you posted, the ups/downs and on/off relationship you had with s, are clear and we've been there with you all the way through your happiness and your sorrow.
We've seen the pain and pleasure that trying to establish a relationship with s has caused you.

But it wasn't to be sweetheart.
You have done nothing wrong angel.
And the hardest thing of all for you to accept, is going to be, that it is not her fault either.
Sweetheart, it will be no consolation to you now, but it is her mental ill health that is purely to blame.
She is a very poorly young lady.
You've said yourself how very ill she is and you didn't know if the relationship would work, & yes, I know how much you wanted it to work.

She can't be what you wanted her to be hun.
Even though you made no demands on her, she understood how you felt but obviously couldn't face being in any relationship - not just with you miro. She doesn't seem able to maintain relationships of any kind because of her illness. Her illness stands in the way of many things for her and she is trying to accept this.

If there is any kind of comfort angel, at least she was very honest with you that she is not well enough to deal with anything.
You've said how much she lies but she took a big step in opening up to you and being so honest. And although she knew you'd do whatever it took to make things work, she was telling you that it couldn't happen.
That took a lot of doing for her hun.

I know you feel heartbroken but at least you found the courage to try. And you will again with someone else.
It is not an all-or-nothing situation.
You'd started to get more upbeat and were thinking of charity work, you were told you were attractive to 8 other women - hun, there are positives in your life, but your pain stops you from seeing them. Give yourself time to heal.

I wouldn't pursue this any further angel, as hard as that sounds.
I know how much you care and want to help her hun but she's got a different path to follow than yours. You can't save her hun - she's not ready for a knight in shining armour. It's not what she needs.
If you press her any further, no matter how gently, it may make her health worse.
She'll feel under enormous pressure hun. She doesn't see things as you and flatmate do.

She's made her choice and was open with you in the end.
She probably thought at the time that it might work hun, but that seems to be part of her illness. I don't think she was being deceitful or meant to hurt you.
She can't help herself, she's not ready and she needs to get better angel.
It would not be fair to her, to prolong something she can't manage now.
She's telling you from her heart how she's feeling.

Travel on miro hun - see the opportunities in life and love that exist for you when you are ready. You have shown what a warm, caring person you are. Everything changes hun - nothing, not even this pain, will last forever. And it's because of this, that your wounds will heal and you'll go on.
Let down your barriers just enough so that you can allow chances to appear angel and be able to see them. The barriers you said you put up may be the reason why there's only been 3 relationships in 15 years hun and maybe it's time to bring them down a little.

Right now, take care of yourself hun - cry, rant, do whatever it takes to let the pain out. I so feel for you angel and I know how much you are hurting. I know the nightmares you've faced and I truly admire your courage for being the survivor you are.:T
Live life now for yourself, build a structure for yourself hun - and watch the world fall into place.
As blinky would say...
Here for you as always hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

queensway_boy

Big HUgs to everyone xxxx



One good turn gets most of the blankets:D

Pumpkin_Pie_5

Morning all,

well another tricky day here - another bobbins night so I am just trying not to cry.

I was supposed to be going to a friend's daugter birthday party but i just can't and I feel so stupid and guilty for letting everyone down. I thiough I was starting to get better and then a couple of bad nights and I'm back being the gibbering wreck here.
I'm sorry to bother you all as I know you are all going through you own private hells. But can someone just comfort me? Will my friends understand? They are such wonderful people, I feel a prize b*tch for not going, but I just can't.

Sorry to lumber you all I hope you are all feeling OK this morning.
Love
Pumpkin x

feelinggood_2

Pumpkin, if you explain to your friends, I am sure they would understand.
Lack of sleep can really affect us, I know I feel so much worse if i've had anything less than 8 hours sleep. What time is the party? If you had a long hot bath and dressed up a bit would you feel more like going? Sometimes its the getting ready that puts me off going places, so a bit of pampering might help?
If you know that you can't go, don't beat yourself up about it - you are poorly at the moment, and you shouldn't do anything that would make you worse. You say they are all wonderful people, which means they will understand.
Don't worry about bothering us, thats what we are here for
**hugs**
When we have some good days, it can make the bad days feel much worse by comparison, but there will be more good days x

geminilady

Pumpkin_Pie wrote:

Morning all,

well another tricky day here - another bobbins night so I am just trying not to cry.

I was supposed to be going to a friend's daugter birthday party but i just can't and I feel so stupid and guilty for letting everyone down. I thiough I was starting to get better and then a couple of bad nights and I'm back being the gibbering wreck here.
I'm sorry to bother you all as I know you are all going through you own private hells. But can someone just comfort me? Will my friends understand? They are such wonderful people, I feel a prize b*tch for not going, but I just can't.

Sorry to lumber you all I hope you are all feeling OK this morning.
Love
Pumpkin x

Morning Pumpkin,Just a quick line as i am going shopping.Big (((((((HUG)))))) for you and don't apolagise for posting!It is the very fact that we do have our own problems that we can empathise with yours.Do not worry yourself about not being well enough for the party,it is not your fault and i am sure your friends will understand especialy if they are as nice people as you say they are.Hope you feal a little better as the day goes on,hang in there. x

geminilady

feelinggood wrote:

Pumpkin, if you explain to your friends, I am sure they would understand.
Lack of sleep can really affect us, I know I feel so much worse if i've had anything less than 8 hours sleep. What time is the party? If you had a long hot bath and dressed up a bit would you feel more like going? Sometimes its the getting ready that puts me off going places, so a bit of pampering might help?
If you know that you can't go, don't beat yourself up about it - you are poorly at the moment, and you shouldn't do anything that would make you worse. You say they are all wonderful people, which means they will understand.
Don't worry about bothering us, thats what we are here for
**hugs**
When we have some good days, it can make the bad days feel much worse by comparison, but there will be more good days x

Morning FG, Great minds think alike,we posted at exactly the same time.How are you today? Did you go to the pub the other day? I see you are now on day 49! you are doing really well and dieting too.How do you diet?are you on a plan or do you count calories ect.I have put on weight over xmas and need to get it off but find it hard to keep off chocolate ect.I have a very sweet tooth can give up chips pies ect with no problem.Have you any plans for today? I have shopping to do but then i am going to chill out and either watch a dvd or read as well as flitting on and off here lol.Hope you have a good day.

feelinggood_2

I went to the pub, never drank so much diet coke in my life!! Didn't have a single drink, but the thoughts are there, might just start drinking again, once a month or something like that I don't know.
I'm coping
I'm calorie counting too, and very low fat things only

Pumpkin_Pie_5

Thats brilliant news hunny. Next time why not vary the night with some J2O - Thats what my OH drinks when we are out and about. Seriously - I'm very impressed. you have given me the guts to go for it!:kisses3:

I'm going to take your advice, have a bath put my game face on and go. Party is 2 til 4 - And we will be surrounded by 3 year olds.. How bad can it be (don't answer that!)

See you all later
Pumpkin
xxx

Sazbo

feelinggood wrote:

I went to the pub, never drank so much diet coke in my life!! Didn't have a single drink, but the thoughts are there, might just start drinking again, once a month or something like that I don't know.
I'm coping
I'm calorie counting too, and very low fat things only

Feelie you're doing great. Appreciate you posting, as I was wondering how it went re pub. Honestly, if I had an ounce of your determination I'd be a so much better Sazzy:) Good to hear from you, hope you got stuff sorted post-epiphany.

Love,
Sazxxx

Sazbo

Pumpkin_Pie wrote:

Thats brilliant news hunny. Next time why not vary the night with some J2O - Thats what my OH drinks when we are out and about. Seriously - I'm very impressed. you have given me the guts to go for it!:kisses3:

I'm going to take your advice, have a bath put my game face on and go. Party is 2 til 4 - And we will be surrounded by 3 year olds.. How bad can it be (don't answer that!)

See you all later
Pumpkin
xxx

Hi PP - hope the party goes ok... at least not too boisterous with all those three-year-olds! Save me some jelly and ice cream:) (Feelie I'll start the diet tomorrow, honest!:D)

Sazxx