Depression

Miroslav

Just quick hello to all and hope you are all keeping your spirits up.

Feeling low myself at the moment. Saturday would have been my partner who passed's Birthday, Valentines Day is just 2 days away, and this year it looked briefly like I was going to have someone to focus on and i'm still upset by what has happened, even more so on Wednesday no doubt, plus my mouth is still aggrivating me.

I feel low anyway, but all that hasn't helped my mood. I feel like things will never change, and at the moment my flatmate is very low too, so i'm looking out for her. It would be nice for someone to look out for me for a change, but that will never happen. I just feel unloveable.

Sorry for the rant, I don't post much anymore as i'm just not capable at the moment.

Like I say, I hope everyone is okay, people are getting through the days, house sales are going well and kids/families/care staff are behaving themselves!

Bunnie1982

Tiff - We put down one months rent + £100. Thanks for the help it is really appreciated.

We had some good news today, my sister in law gave birth to a baby girl today, Lillian Rose.

The estate agent selling the house has phoned our landline today at 5:30, but we were not home from work. He is going to have difficulty in getting hold of us.

From the impression we got from our Letting Agent they are not impressed he is selling, especially as he is selling through a different Estate Agent.

The whole thing is stressing me out

Tiff_2

Hi bunnie!:hello:
I've not heard back from you hun so I've just gone on the basic information I have. I've helped others in this position hun, which is why I know that with practical problems, there is nearly always an answer - we just gotta find the right one!;) So try not to worry too much just yet angel, ok? I'm sorry if you've already thought of these things angel or if any of the guys has posted it. Okay sweetheart, let's get on and see about finding you a nice new warren.;)

- If you are applying to the council for housing, a letter from your gp stating details of any mental ill health or physical ill health or personal circumstances which might be relevant, will really help your cause.

- If you are in touch with Social Services and/or you have children, input from a social worker will really help your case.

- Every council has something like a ledger of private landlords and/or a Homeswap scheme. Although you can't swap houses, you may find lists of vacant properties.

-In certain areas and cases, your local housing authority can lend you the deposit for your new rental. It's a Deposit Scheme. You need to check with yours hun - I think they do it.

- I saw the area you're in and got some info on the resources available - you will have to check that they apply in your immediate area.
SHA - Shropshire Housing Alliance - it looks like they will be able to help you deposit-wise, whether it's temporarily loaning the deposit, OR vouching for you to a new landlord until you get your deposit back.

- A landlord is required to give you your deposit back (minus any damages to the property etc.), when you vacate the property. I have a problem with this 10 days later thing, hun. If they are giving you 60 days notice to move, they have plenty of time to gather your deposit for refund!

- Your landlord cannot take out damages for anything that is normal wear and tear hun.

-If you paid your deposit in cash, ask for it back in cash. You don't want any nonsense of having to wait for cheques to clear or money transfers.

- Also, if you have a written receipt for your deposit, a private landlord may accept that as a guarantee that the deposit will be available in 10 days.

- Even if you're not on benefits and you are working, there are exceptional situations where the DWP (Social Security) may be able to make you an emergency loan, repayable without interest, that you can use as a deposit.

- The landlord is fully entitled to sell his property so we're not trying to bully him. I don't know how nice he is or isn't. It would just be nice to see if he can consider your requests, especially if you've been good tenants and you're having a hard time.

-Please note here hun, that you have to have been in the property for a minimum of 6 months in most cases, before he can give you notice to quit.

-Another point for debate between you & OH hun, is to not pay your final month's rent and use that as a deposit. No-one would want to do that but you do have to get a home. Hopefully it won't ever come to that. The options in your area hold some hope hun.

- I'm not encouraging you to do anything illegal at all bunnie, but you may be forced to play this card if there's no compromise. I don't know how well you get on with the landlord hun, but here's an idea - I put in a Tiff letter. :rolleyes: MAKE SURE YOU CHANGE THE NAMES HUN!!!:D Oh and take out any parts that aren't appropriate. Tiff notes in pink.:rolleyes:

Dear Mr. Ratfink Landlord,

I'm writing to acknowledge your intention to sell your property and the receipt of the 60 days notice you have given us as required by law.
We would ask you to consider please, the possibility of returning our deposit within 30 days to enable my family to move into alternative accommodation.
If you cannot agree to this time frame, then may we request that you consider returning our refund on the day we leave and return your keys.

In addition, we would request and require that the deposit be returned to us in cash, just as we paid it in cash, please.(If it was paid to him in cash) Due to personal financial circumstances, it will not be possible to process a cheque, a banker's draft or a money transfer.(you don't have to explain why hun, but if pressed you could say that you've closed your bank account and you're in the process of selecting another one.) As you will appreciate, there is a necessity of a deposit when renting a property. If you wish, you could inspect the property and inform us of anything you are not happy with, that would affect the amount of the deposit to be returned to us and inform us of the amount to be returned to us. (remember, he can't charge you for normal wear and tear hun)

As we have encountered no problems between us throughout our tenency, I'm hoping that you would give this your serious consideration. We do not have the resources to move financially immediately available, and I unfortunately have a long term illness which complicates matters even more. The return of our deposit would enable us to move at the earliest opportunity, which will of course, be to both our advantages.

We wish you good luck in your endeavours and every success in the sale of this property mr.ratfink. I hope to hear from you at your earliest convenience.

Hugs and kisses
Bunnie hunnie xxx

This is the nice version hun.:D :eek:

With all said and done angel, it is crucial that you go to CAB with this now - don't wait, not even for the council decision hun. I am not a professional and I don't want you to break any laws.:o CAB are real experts in this field and you should check all information out with them. :T
They have access to a whole range of resources and will have seen this many times before and will know the best approach. Take every bit of paper with you hun. They are very much used to negotiating with councils and private landlords and will have your best interests in mind.

I hope this has been a little help hun or at least given you some ideas. Don't know if it helps hunnie. Sorry if it hasn't.:o
I'm a totally tuckered Tiff now, so off for a catnap.;) Let me know if I can help hun.
Sorry to you and the guys for the long post.:o Huge Tiffy hugs for everyone.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Bunnie1982 wrote:

Tiff - We put down one months rent + £100. Thanks for the help it is really appreciated.

We had some good news today, my sister in law gave birth to a baby girl today, Lillian Rose.

The estate agent selling the house has phoned our landline today at 5:30, but we were not home from work. He is going to have difficulty in getting hold of us.

From the impression we got from our Letting Agent they are not impressed he is selling, especially as he is selling through a different Estate Agent.

The whole thing is stressing me out

Hi angel :hello:- I posted before I saw your post!
Congratulations Aunty Bunnie!:T
There's no need to stress to much yet hun - we just have to get organized is all. Plans bring you peace of mind hun...as long as you don't follow them all at once.:D Hope my post helps angel.:rolleyes:
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

learning_to_drive

Hi, had a bit of a sleep, still a bit down really. Possibly just a low day, I think the lack of news on day job is getting to me, still things lined up. Natwest taking their time, useless f*ckers. Not overly surprised to be perfectly honest.

Phone interview with HBOS tomorrow, so fingers crossed for that, I started worrying earlier about whether that gap in my employment, (after JS in Nov, I dont mention FD or Tax office, I just say I had a couple of months off before ASDA in new year) puts people off. 'Cause I didnt get T Cook, but thats madness,

Horasio

I am about to post a very long post here

There is no-one around to chat to so I have to vent here.

My OH and I had a good day yesterday, felt very close and felt fine with him. Looking forward to Valentines Day and our Wedding Anniversary. Now it is fked!

Our son is a prize a/hole. He won't discipline him and accuses me of being a bully. Our son is being spoilt and when I try to get things on track I am undermined and accused of all sorts.

I have had 25 years of pressure. Pressure to be loving and sweet. When I deviate from that, I am got at and verbally attacked for it. I was finding it hard to cope and I got more piled on top. I snapped and got very angry. Of course that makes me the bad guy in everyone's eyes and of course the pressure to be miss wonderful was piled on, and so the vicious circle kept going. Basically if I'm not nice and sweet, I got a row. I am a human being and being got at was the last thing I needed, yet they claimed they cared. BS!!

He had a drink or two tonight and I have been tense today about the inaction about this house not selling and our son's behaviour towards me. My husband isn't being the man he claims he is and won't see where he is not doing so. Meanwhile, I feel I have to be perfect wife otherwise I am accused of being a bully.

I am not a bully, I am angry at the double standards that our son is allowed to do what he likes and cheeks us and I get it in the neck for virtually nothing.

I am angry that I am being told I'm cared for but when I deviate from the perfect wife or daughter, I treated like trash.

I am sick of it. I want this place sold, so I can get away from both the fakes and brats in my life.

I feel imprisoned in my home and I won't take their accusations and labels any longer

Horasio

Miroslav wrote:

Just quick hello to all and hope you are all keeping your spirits up.

Feeling low myself at the moment. Saturday would have been my partner who passed's Birthday, Valentines Day is just 2 days away, and this year it looked briefly like I was going to have someone to focus on and i'm still upset by what has happened, even more so on Wednesday no doubt, plus my mouth is still aggrivating me.

I feel low anyway, but all that hasn't helped my mood. I feel like things will never change, and at the moment my flatmate is very low too, so i'm looking out for her. It would be nice for someone to look out for me for a change, but that will never happen. I just feel unloveable.

Sorry for the rant, I don't post much anymore as i'm just not capable at the moment.

Like I say, I hope everyone is okay, people are getting through the days, house sales are going well and kids/families/care staff are behaving themselves!

I am sorry to hear that and the pain must be immense. It is another day and you can either grieve or try and get thro it somehow.

I am dreading our events this week too. My OH is blowing hot and cold and it's doing my nut.

How do you get thro anniversary's without pain. I hate them:(

learning_to_drive

Hugs for CC, Miro, Pumpkin etc.

Ropey night for me, somehow got through it, depsite feeling very very ill. The hunt for a day job has increased, ive not felt well since i started on nights in all honesty. Car money is through, however they have given me £2450 not the £2950 agreed (jesus, why isnt anything ever simple?)

Got people to ring regarding jobs now, had enough of waiting, have to take the bull by the horns, my recovery centres on financial clout, and days, Ive had enough of letting depression bully me into thinking nights is good enough. Its not, time is now to take back!

learning_to_drive

The new job hunt has commenced, the making LTD great again 2007 recovery gains momentum once again.

Due to my not hearing from Natwest, Ive had a look at other financial institutions, Ive figured that is as close to retail as im going to get (customer facing) but with the possibility of bonuses etc to overpay on loans whilst being able to have a social life (wooing ladies ) too!

A lot going at the minute, so ive applied for all of those, got some calls to make too, and a phone interview today for HBOS.

Lovely, cancelled my overdraft wi FD, and paid the HSBC account in full and emailed off to cancel that. Will ring around my creditors later once I've got my £500 from Carcraft and can work out from there my budget for the month.

Got a hefty mobile bill (incurred charges and stuff to change tariff, will save me so much) and last car insurance payment to pay too. So that will need to be taken into consideration.

blinky

CCStar wrote:

I am about to post a very long post here

There is no-one around to chat to so I have to vent here.

My OH and I had a good day yesterday, felt very close and felt fine with him. Looking forward to Valentines Day and our Wedding Anniversary. Now it is fked!

Our son is a prize a/hole. He won't discipline him and accuses me of being a bully. Our son is being spoilt and when I try to get things on track I am undermined and accused of all sorts.

I have had 25 years of pressure. Pressure to be loving and sweet. When I deviate from that, I am got at and verbally attacked for it. I was finding it hard to cope and I got more piled on top. I snapped and got very angry. Of course that makes me the bad guy in everyone's eyes and of course the pressure to be miss wonderful was piled on, and so the vicious circle kept going. Basically if I'm not nice and sweet, I got a row. I am a human being and being got at was the last thing I needed, yet they claimed they cared. BS!!

He had a drink or two tonight and I have been tense today about the inaction about this house not selling and our son's behaviour towards me. My husband isn't being the man he claims he is and won't see where he is not doing so. Meanwhile, I feel I have to be perfect wife otherwise I am accused of being a bully.

I am not a bully, I am angry at the double standards that our son is allowed to do what he likes and cheeks us and I get it in the neck for virtually nothing.

I am angry that I am being told I'm cared for but when I deviate from the perfect wife or daughter, I treated like trash.

I am sick of it. I want this place sold, so I can get away from both the fakes and brats in my life.

I feel imprisoned in my home and I won't take their accusations and labels any longer

CC - I feel your anger and frustration. Don't worry about the rant - you needed to vent and we are here to listen. I'm not sure what I can say to help. Have you tried getting the whole household to relationship counselling?

Big hugs to you

Miro - Thinking of you. I know this must be a very difficult time.

LTD - Hope you are feeling better soon. Don't work too hard.

Ethel - big hugs to you and DD.

To everyone else - hope you all have a great day and I'm thinking of you all.