How do you split expenses in your household?

Mojisola

Mojisola wrote: »

It's everyone's choice how they arrange these things but, to us, we are partners and share our lives. That includes the money that comes into the household.

We're in agreement - it's down to each couple to find what suits them.

One problem I've seen arise for couples who keep their money separate is when one loses their job/goes on maternity leave/becomes long-term sick or disabled/becomes a stay-at-home parent. If these situations where one partner suddenly doesn't have much (or any) money aren't talked through in advance, it can make the transition very difficult.

daviecol

My wife and I have a joint bank account which both our wages get paid into and the bills come out of, whatever is left we live off. I earn 3 times what she earns however I wouldn't dream of treating myself to things while she had nothing.

However since your just starting out I personally would calculate all the bills and pay half each, if your wages aren't a million miles from his and you intend on catching him in the future then it's the simplest solution.

If you stay together long term ultimately you'll most likely end up pooling your money in the end anyway.

hayleythedaisy

When I moved in OH said not to pay him anything, this was because quite simply with with other things that were going on I couldn't afford to, (was living with my sis prior to this and paying a small amount but doing housework, cooking etc to help out). He said he would rather live with me and carry on paying the bills himself, than not live with me. (sweet or stupid, it was his choice and I never expected to live there for free).
Since then it has gradually and naturally evened out, we don't have everything in our joint account because neither of us can be bothered to move banks, but all our money is joint, we pay the bills and live normally, and transfer money from one account to the other to balance them as and when required.
As I am going on maternity leave soon we need to get into gear and sort out the joint account though.

You need to have the conversation of how to split things, and not go in with advanced ideas IMO. But at the end of the day, if I loved someone I wouldn't want them struggling to afford to live with me, and I wouldn't expect them to let me struggle to afford to live with them. At the same time, no one should take someone for a mug either. Part of being together is just being happy and equal in your relationship. And just as that means you don't need to wash the same number of plates each or hoover the same square foot of flooring, you don't have to contribute the same number of pounds to the house (IMO).

As for the splitting up thing, we have no intention of splitting up, but if we did, we are both decent enough people not to try and rip eachother off. (Maybe niave or stupid but that's us!)

mouche

My husband and I have always used the % wise split the OP has described and so far it has worked fine for us. He has always earned less than me though it has varied between a bit less and considerably less. We work out what we need to spend as a couple - monthly stuff including rent, bills food, Sky etc. and longer term stuff such as car insurance, contents insurance, money for his parents and holidays. We contribute our %s of that total amount to the joint account and all direct debits etc come out of that.

We also have a fixed amount we like to save and contribute proportionally to that. Anything left is our pocket money to be spent on individual expenses like mobile phones, travel to work and 'fun' stuff including gifts for each other.

I get left with more pocket money because I earn more but I tend to save my excess so that I end up with the same amount of spending money as him.

Our joint savings are now enough to fund a house deposit and we will own the house 50-50. I suppose out proportional method means I've contributed more to the deposit but he will probably end up contributing more to the monthly payments as I will take time off work to have a child. Besides where it comes to something like a house, it's a joint expense so it's for 'us' so we don't think about who contributed what.

When I am on maternity leave we will follow the same principle - except that he will be earning and contributing close to 100%! First the joint expenses will be covered, including anything for the baby, then a bare minimum pocket money, and then savings if possible.

It works for us because he leaves all financial planning in my hands and I like working things out. But just because it works in my situation doesn't mean it will work in yours. Ultimately it's the 2 people involved who need to work it out.

Gloomendoom

mouche wrote: »

Our joint savings are now enough to fund a house deposit and we will own the house 50-50. I suppose out proportional method means I've contributed more to the deposit but he will probably end up contributing more to the monthly payments as I will take time off work to have a child. Besides where it comes to something like a house, it's a joint expense so it's for 'us' so we don't think about who contributed what.

If you have been married more than a couple of years, neither does the law. It's 50/50... like it, or lump it.

Giddytimes

antrobus wrote: »

How anyone else splits their household expenses isn't really relevant to your situation. Of course I quite understand what you're doing. You've already decided what you'd like to do, and are hoping that a number of random strangers will agree with you, thereby bolstering your resolve to do so. But none of that matters, it's only your opinion and your OH's opinion that matter.

I haven't decided what I'd like to do at all, I'm playing devil's advocate with some of my posts, I posted here because I was interested in reading a wide range of view points, which is surely the advantage of internet forums. I'm not looking for agreement, just wondering whether there is a 'norm'.

I also do not intend to force any views on my OH, I drew up an overall household budget last night (with OH's knowledge) and I'm going to start by asking for his input into the budget before we discuss how he thinks any income split would work best.

Incidently after drawing up the budget I realised I physically couldn't pay 50% of the mortgage and bills (my net earnings are half that of my OH), so as it turns out we are either going to have to split the expenses unevenly to start with, or compromise on the areas we were considering.

PinkPrincess83

Everyone is different and different things work for people depending on their spending habits and circumstances.

Ive lived with my oh over 3 years and this is what what works for us:
We worked out how much all bills would be (including all once yearly payments ie our car insurance, house insurance etc which we pay once yearly but put money each month towards these costs into our joint account) then on payday we put 50% each into our joint account, my oh earns more so he also pays for the sky and food, whatever is left in our account is then ours to do as we please- this suits us because I tend to just waste money and spend it cos its there and I know this would cause arguments with my oh if we just had one account- and for us this is better as he is the saver.

This may change in a few years if we have a family but for now it works perfectly for us.

Rebecca01

Giddytimes wrote: »

I haven't decided what I'd like to do at all, I'm playing devil's advocate with some of my posts, I posted here because I was interested in reading a wide range of view points, which is surely the advantage of internet forums. I'm not looking for agreement, just wondering whether there is a 'norm'.

I also do not intend to force any views on my OH, I drew up an overall household budget last night (with OH's knowledge) and I'm going to start by asking for his input into the budget before we discuss how he thinks any income split would work best.

Incidently after drawing up the budget I realised I physically couldn't pay 50% of the mortgage and bills (my net earnings are half that of my OH), so as it turns out we are either going to have to split the expenses unevenly to start with, or compromise on the areas we were considering.

Could you ever just put all your money together, pay all the bills and share 50 50 of the disposable?

nic_santorini

My husband and I have separate bank accounts, are bills are £1400 a month - just utilities and mortgage. I take £700 a month out of his wages and pop it into my account and all the direct debits get paid out of there. I earn approximately £400 more a month. In addition to my £700, I buy all the food and pay for car tax and servicing and I normally pay for the holidays and he pays for the spending money. We pay for our own mobiles, cars, car insurance, petrol and clothes, presents etc. He pays for all dining out and day trips out usually. I am a bit controlling because he is not good with money and easy come easy go attitude and ends up with pennies in his account at the end of each month. I on the other hand, will be really frugle and not go out or have my hair cut and save my pennies for something big. I think it works well, I end up paying for a little more, but think that I should. My previous partner was not on this planet, we used to go food shopping and then get home and tick off the items on the receipt that he did not intend to eat or would only eat some of and divide each bill up!!! Only 1 reason why he became an X

Rebecca01

Just to add, I am a stay at home mum , there was a similar thread a few months ago about joint bank accounts. As a SAHM I have no income and am losing my child benefit in 2013. So will have nothing coming to me at all. However even when I did earn we shared everything together because our money was our money.

From what a previous poster said,I am curious how all the 'splitter's pay for a meal when they are out. I just couldnt imagine OH saying oh I will get it tonight. Just seems weird when your in along term partnership. Thats just me though, I guess it is what couples are both happy with.