How do you split expenses in your household?

Any

I have to say I cannot imagine having all finances joint. If I want something or need something, I quickly check my account, which has just spending money in it, no bills or anything and I know whether I can have it.

I don't need to consult the family before I get new hair do at T&G or something.. I cannot read his mind whether he had eyes set on a set of lights for his bike but I just blew it on my hair... I don't know... it's weird!

gwhizz75

Any wrote: »

And sharing bodily fluids therefore sharing money? Since when sex had anything to do with money, unless talking about the obvious?? (tongue in cheek:D)

It's not about paying for sex, it's about sharing everything when you are in a long term relationship. Although we are two separate people, we talk about "our life" together, and I wouldn't want something as important as finances to be split and separate from each other.

I personally find it strange that people can be happy to share a bed (and bodily fluids!) but won't cough up an extra fiver now and then for a sarnie for their nearest and dearest!

For some couples, splitting finances does obviously work and I don't think that makes them any less of a partnership... I just personally don't like that way of living and wouldn't choose it for myself.

I find it particularly odd when the two halves of the couple earn very different amounts so essentially have completely different lifestyles. One person can be out living it up every night, fine dining and champagne with their rich pals while the other is scrimping and saving to pay the bills.

Also for those that split everything and keep money separate, what would happen if one of you lost your job? Would the other receive an allowance off you? Would you expect them to pay it back?

Tropez

gwhizz75 wrote: »

It's not about paying for sex, it's about sharing everything when you are in a long term relationship. Although we are two separate people, we talk about "our life" together, and I wouldn't want something as important as finances to be split and separate from each other.

I personally find it strange that people can be happy to share a bed (and bodily fluids!) but won't cough up an extra fiver now and then for a sarnie for their nearest and dearest!

For some couples, splitting finances does obviously work and I don't think that makes them any less of a partnership... I just personally don't like that way of living and wouldn't choose it for myself.

I find it particularly odd when the two halves of the couple earn very different amounts so essentially have completely different lifestyles. One person can be out living it up every night, fine dining and champagne with their rich pals while the other is scrimping and saving to pay the bills.

Also for those that split everything and keep money separate, what would happen if one of you lost your job? Would the other receive an allowance off you? Would you expect them to pay it back?

You seem rather occupied with the bodily fluids!

Having separate finances doesn't mean that somebody won't cough up for their partner to have a sandwich, nor does it mean that if one person earns more they're going to be living it up with fine food and champagne while their partner makes do with beans on toast and a can of Aldi cola. Maybe there are some people out there who actually behave in this manner but as somebody in a relationship where finances are kept separate I can safely say this isn't the case with my partner and I.

Any

gwhizz75 wrote: »

It's not about paying for sex,

Yeah, it was a joke

gwhizz75 wrote: »

Also for those that split everything and keep money separate, what would happen if one of you lost your job? Would the other receive an allowance off you? Would you expect them to pay it back?

Just because people keep in normal situation some money separate DOES NOT mean they are partners and in case of emergency they would not behave like partners!!!!!

Tropez wrote: »

You seem rather occupied with the bodily fluids!

Having separate finances doesn't mean that somebody won't cough up for their partner to have a sandwich, nor does it mean that if one person earns more they're going to be living it up with fine food and champagne while their partner makes do with beans on toast and a can of Aldi cola. Maybe there are some people out there who actually behave in this manner but as somebody in a relationship where finances are kept separate I can safely say this isn't the case with my partner and I.

What she said!!!
Just because money are in three different accounts it doesn't mean that people half everything... That is very strange way of looking at it. It just means that there is a bit more freedom in the way we spend - ie we don't need to check with each other before getting an expensive hair cut or something!

I also believe there might be people like that, that they actually do half virtually everything including a sarny for lunch. That is unhealthy.

As much unhealthy as when the people with shared finances come here and say that their partner just bought a set of new wheels while the person doesn't have new shoes... or when the partner questions them on every line of the bank statement.

It's about trust, understanding and respect for the other person.

It swings both ways - and nothing to do with bodily fluids!!!!:rotfl:

Tropez

Any wrote: »

What she said!!!
Just because money are in three different accounts it doesn't mean that people half everything... That is very strange way of looking at it. It just means that there is a bit more freedom in the way we spend - ie we don't need to check with each other before getting an expensive hair cut or something!

I also believe there might be people like that, that they actually do half virtually everything including a sarny for lunch. That is unhealthy.

As much unhealthy as when the people with shared finances come here and say that their partner just bought a set of new wheels while the person doesn't have new shoes... or when the partner questions them on every line of the bank statement.

It's about trust, understanding and respect for the other person.

It swings both ways - and nothing to do with bodily fluids!!!!:rotfl:

Exactly, well, apart from the part where you referred to me as "she"

Truth is, if my partner and I go out, generally it is the person who suggested we go out in the first place that pays - or if we're doing two things, one will pick up say the cinema tickets and the other gets the after-movie pizza. We don't tot things up exactly because things aren't priced fairly and exactly - two cinema tickets might be cheaper than a pizza but they're both activities we're doing together, so there's no sense of "oh but I spent £1.53 more" or any of that nonsense, and if there was... I'd be terrified.

Any

Tropez wrote: »

Exactly, well, apart from the part where you referred to me as "she"

Sorry...:D

gwhizz75

Look ladies (and gentleman), I'm just expressing my opinion. You both seem very defensive of your way of doing things, even though I clearly stated that doing things your way can work and makes you no less of a partnership.

What I said is strange is when it goes to extremes and people get hung up over small amounts of money - like a fiver for a sandwich. And YES, it does happen because I have witnessed it several times in couples I know. I have also witnessed couples having completely different lifestyles where one can't afford to go out for a couple of drinks and the other is out most nights and buying brand new games consoles/laptops willy nilly.

You said yourself that was unhealthy so I don't know why you spent all that time writing a defensive reply when essentially, you agree with me!:)

Tropez

gwhizz75 wrote: »

Look ladies (and gentleman), I'm just expressing my opinion. You both seem very defensive of your way of doing things,

Nothing defensive about it, I'm just giving an opinion.

Mojisola

gwhizz75 wrote: »

What I said is strange is when it goes to extremes and people get hung up over small amounts of money - like a fiver for a sandwich. And YES, it does happen because I have witnessed it several times in couples I know. I have also witnessed couples having completely different lifestyles where one can't afford to go out for a couple of drinks and the other is out most nights and buying brand new games consoles/laptops willy nilly.

I know a couple - now separated - where she would go on holiday and leave him at home "because he hadn't earned enough to save for a holiday this year". He had been a stay-at-home Dad while she'd pursued her career.

Tropez

Mojisola wrote: »

I know a couple - now separated - where she would go on holiday and leave him at home "because he hadn't earned enough to save for a holiday this year". He had been a stay-at-home Dad while she'd pursued her career.

Yes, that would be unacceptable for me.

Assuming she actually wants to (and no arguments so far) then my partner will always be accompanying me on a holiday because I go away to experience things and it wouldn't be much fun if I couldn't share the experience with her. Granted, it would be a little difficult to spend out a lot of money on a holiday for us both because my partner places a lot of pride in being able to contribute, pay her own way etc. so I do have to take her feelings into consideration.