How much per month to help daughter?

Person_one

Blobby8 wrote: »

Kids are all different and need differing support, some need a kick up the arris, some need easing along, and some are plain lazy.
I do believe some parents are reluctant to cut the apron strings hence 30 year olds incapable of ironing, I am currently in discussions about one of mine who is heading for a KUTA.

I sincerely hope ironing isn't considered an indicator of independence.

Lokolo

Blobby8 wrote: »

Kids are all different and need differing support, some need a kick up the arris, some need easing along, and some are plain lazy.
I do believe some parents are reluctant to cut the apron strings hence 30 year olds incapable of ironing, I am currently in discussions about one of mine who is heading for a KUTA.

Not saying that's not true, but your comment made it look as though you've already made your mind up about the poster and their DD. Parent's don't always need to encourage independence. I got money from grandparents to pay for accommodation, whenever I went home my mum would always send me back with food and kitchen stuff, doesn't mean I wasn't independent now does it?

Person_one wrote: »

I sincerely hope ironing isn't considered an indicator of independence.

Pssssh, I just take it down to Morrison's, £1.25 or 5 for £6 on shirts being washed and ironed!

kayr_2

Person_one wrote: »

I sincerely hope ironing isn't considered an indicator of independence.

:rotfl:

I'm in trouble if it is!

bouncydog1

DD is actually very independent - has got herself a well paid job for the hols and often cooks the family meal. Will also load up washing machine/dishwasher, hang out washing, share the cleaning etc and is very good at budgeting her money.

I don't see that helping her to settle in is not helping her to be independent. What it is doing (I hope) is taking some of the stress of settling into new surroundings away - we do not live in the UK so moving from where we live is a huge change to lifestyle - trains etc.

We respect our DD's choice and maturity to go to Uni rather than settle for a well paid job locally, so anything we can do to help with the transition makes us caring parents in my view.

JAZ63

Hi everyone,

Lorietta, thanks for your helpful post, my father has said he will give a small lump sum to help out my "poor" daughter when she goes to uni, ( will at least keep her in baked beans and toast for a week or two ) so thanks for that suggestion.

My daughter is definitely not independent in the ironing stakes ( I am embarrassed to say ), though it is not for lack of me trying to get her interested. all I can say is she will have a big shock when she goes to uni ...
and my utility will be tidy and organised for once ha ha .

seriously though thanks for all your brilliant ideas, keep them coming ,as Im sure there are many other first time uni parents who will find your experiences and tips very useful

Jazz

stormbreaker

I pay for my sons digs, bills (including his mobile phone, he gets free landline calls which is a bonus), clothes and train fares home. He takes a large proportion of any toiletries and cleaning products I have stock piled and I normally purchased a very large bottle of washing liquid for laundry and lots of toilet roll which he takes at the beginning of terms. When home he takes away some, jars and any food that he can carry that does not need refigerated.

He has a plastic box in his room where he keeps his overstocks so they don't go walkabout. He kept his supply of toilet roll and laundry liquid in his room too (He learnt the hard way first!).

He has both the Tesco and Boots loyaly cards.

He works full time during the summer and in the union bar during term time. His money pays for his groceries and socialising.

He is going into his third year with no debt......so far!

In 1st year I bought his 'Freshers' ticket too. You could buy one which assured you entry into everything and worked out cheaper in the end.

I do surveys and often get 'Luncheon Vouchers', Tesco & M&S Gift vouchers. I post these up to him now and again as a wee surprised and pick me up!

Oh and I bought all the things he needed for his flat, kitchen utensils, duvet etc. I bought most of theses things when they were on 'deals'. I have 'bottom drawers' up the loft for both my sons. I had one for my neice too and she was very grateful earlier in the year when she got her first flat!

ciderwithrosie_2

My son will be starting his 3rd year soon. He gets a maintenance loan, small grant and fees loan. He's up in London so his rent alone is 365.00 a month. He does get a 'good attendance' bursary every January which he can use to buy books or top up his Oyster card, which helps. I bought all his household stuff before he went in the first year, and I order him a Tesco delivery once a month in term times to stock him up and I sometimes buy him clothes/shoes. I can't see how he's not independent - he, along with his housemates, sorted out their house rental, he has to budget his money, pay bills, get himself about London, cook, clean, iron. He will be slightly better off the 2nd and 3rd terms but the first term he'll have to manage on about 45.00 a week.

stedwell

I read these messages with interest as my DD1 goes (hopefully) to uni in 2 years time.

I have been looking at the rent charged by halls and the amount of maintenance loan she will receive will fall far short of it. We are both teachers with a large mortgage and DD2 at home.

I think the question therefore is not what you are prepared to give but what you have to give. I would love to give just £200 a month but that will not even cover the rent.

I think bouncyd!!! is correct by saying take into account what they would cost if they were still at home. Alternatively maybe I should top up her money to the full loan amount. (I think this would cost me about £6000 a year!)

We are not rich people and things at home will be very tight if/when she goes. Holiday time she will need to work and support herself. I would rather she concentrates on her studies in term time.

bodmil

Not sure if it's been mentioned but how about giving cash as a lump sum instead of regularly, that way she can learn to budget and make it last?

stedwell

I think I'd rather start off with a monthly budget and work up to a yearly one. Could be a costly learning experience!