Ex-wife spent childrens savings...

Emmzi

Y'know, with the best will in the world, 16 year olds can be a bit mercenary, and are learning how to be manipulative to get their own way, especially when they can play mum and dad off against each other.

I wouldn't be taking her word for it, however lovely you believe her to be.

Ask the ex.

If you are that worried, move daughter in with you. She's 16, she can choose where to live now.

crazyguy

I agree with you, but its a tricky one and no matter what way you approach this I dont think you will either find out the full truth or get her to replace what she has spent.

ajatuk

@ clearingout : she did and still does smoke, the fact they smellof smoke every time collect them-as does their clothing backs this up (and the fact she stands at the door smoking)
Please trust me that I know what I know for sure. My girls tell me an awful lot-as did her b/f in a long email when they split briefly and he voiced his concerns over her ways...
My daughter is biding her time until she has left school next July before coming back to live with me as she can't bear life at home.. There's a lot more to this story which I am not posting but please believe me when I say I am not just out to bad mouth her.

Emmzi

If it is that bad, do not leave your daughter there for a year. Especially not exam year. Fretting over the bank account won't help. Proper intervention will. Get onto the local schools and see what they can do to find a place.

DeeLasVegas

How did your ex get the bank book? Was her name on it? And if so why was it on there? Was she permitted to withdraw money from the account?
You really need to find out the answer to these questions first. I don't understand how she could have access to the money if your mum held the book. Time you asked your mum some questions.

ajatuk

I feared there would be a backlash of sorts on here - I see my daughter every 2 weeks and speak on the phone every night and I know fully what teens are like however my daughter is a withdrawn introvert who would not and does not make up stories to cause problems between mum n me. She hates the tension her mum creates and as I previously posted there's a lot more to thus story. Suffice to say I will disregard any comments on here that imply I do not know my kids, that they are manipulative etc & playing us off.. After what they have been through this is exactly the opposite of what they are doing. And if it were as clear cut as just 'taking my daughter back to live with me..' it would have been done. I asked a question on the legalities of my ex spending our kids savings and dont wish to get into Other aspects of my kids

Money_maker

If your mum has the passbook then its unlikely that any has been withdrawn.

Take the book to the bank and check the balance.

Inadvisable to jump the gun over heresay.

Find out the facts and consider your next move from there.

clearingout

in who's name were the accounts? children's accounts have an adult signature on them (or at least my children's accounts do) in which case, if mum is a signatory and she has withdrawn the money, I can't see that there is any legal comeback.

If mum has forged grandma's signature, or her daughter's signature, or anyone else's signature to withdraw the money then you probably do have some legal comeback. However, I would urge you to consider the emotional costs on the children of pursuing mum from a legal perspective. You can tell them their mum spent their money. Isn't that enough?

ajatuk

clearingout wrote: »

However, I would urge you to consider the emotional costs on the children of pursuing mum from a legal perspective. You can tell them their mum spent their money. Isn't that enough?

Clearingout, I think you have misunderstood my initial post... I don't need to 'tell them their mum spent their money..' and this isn't a game of tit for tat. SHE told them herself she had spent it when they asked her how much they now had through 16 yers of saving. She told them there was only a couple of hundred left out of near on a grand, and they then told me as they are upset over it. This is not me trying to get one over on my ex or stirring up trouble through 'hearsay'. She has openly told my daughters she has spent the cash so I know it to be true, and as they are only 16 and it's their mum - who they are wary of - they have come to me, their DAD to try and rectify the situation as they are now left with no savings when they thought they had a grand towards driving lessons etc. They are gutted she has spent their money !!

Sam____2

OP, do you even know for sure this is correct? have you asked your Mum to take the book to the bank and find out?
Seems daft getting upset about something that may not even have happened. (how could she withdraw the money without permission?)
maybe she's only telling them it's already spent so they don't squander it?