token christmas gift for ungrateful niece, any ideas??

Giggles_Fairy

regardless of whether the OP made an effort to deliver the card as close to birthday as possible, given that the family were busy on the day anyway when she enquired, it is beyond rude to text asking where ur card is and then not even thank someone for it, nevermind the fact there was money included!

I agree that once you start to get to an 'adult' age there is a question of whether gifts of large value should be given anyway. Our family got to that question as myself and my cousins are all a similar age. Its been abit of a debate but as far as I am aware no one 'owes' me anything and if I get a gift from anyone, no matter hiow big or small, I am grateful. My uncle stopped buying those over 18 christmas gifts/giving money and when I gave him his christmas gift he said 'I said we werent doing gifts I havent got you one' to which my reply was 'Thats fine Im not expecting one, but I have bought everyone a gift because I wanted to not because I wanted something in return'. I love to give gifts so I will continue doing so, if anyone wants to give me something in return that is up to them, but I would never expect it.

A actually poste my friends birthday gift this week.. 4 months late! We live in different cities so dont always see each other at our birthdays. I have seen her a couple of times since but completely forgot about the gift until I found it last week, so I posted it. Not at any point has she asked me where her present was. And I got a lovely text from my friend thanking me very much for the gift, explaining how much she loved it and how it was no problem that it was late (I included a note of apology).

As for a token gift.... maybe a piece of costume jewellery? You can get something for a few pounds these days which are lovely, especially handmade ones.

swimsink

I agree with the oxfam unwrapped idea - sure she might be smarmy about it behind your back but in the end she's going to look incredible ungreatful. I come from a fairly well off family and my parents just make several charity donations in each others names for christmas/birthdays and it makes them feel good. Surely that's a good enough present as it is? Give her a bit of awareness of what other people live like! Good luck!

PootleFlump_3

I would personally stop buying gifts at her age. I think when they are kids its different but dont think you should keep buying for nieces and nephews forever (unless its a 21st or something). Your niece sounds like a spoiled brat and I wouldnt buy her a thing.

nextyeartina

hi & thanx for replies

coolcait - why was i in a huff? if niece is busy with family, that's ok by me. the "someone else" who took the card down is my hubby, her mum's brother. i actually did phone later on to apologise but things got a little heated so i hung up. some of us have to be prepared for christmas. i started in january like many other money savers on here. thanx for the advice but i think i'll stick to the carefully planned and calculated 'token gift'

emay - i have 9 nieces/nephews. i stop buying for them when they have kids of their own

t, x

nickyhutch

How about a box of "thank-you" cards, preferably from Poundland?

POPPYOSCAR

Sorry, but if my niece was to behave like that it would be the last card she got from me.

crazyguy

Tell her don't buy for me because I am not buying for you, because your ungrateful

cathye555

how about a selection from a 99p store like smellies/candles? personally all my relatives stopped getting me stuff when i turned 18, some dont even send an xmas card anymore despite me always sending them one without fail.

that said, my parents are seeing my grandad on monday and i'll be on the phone straight after work to see if they've got my birthday voucher..... but id never ask them directly!!!

x

interlcore

I'm fed up of people making excuses for immature adults. She's 20, she shouldn't still be acting like that. Myself and my family and friends all have busy lives and sometimes birthday cards and presents have turned up late. I have never thought any less of the person if my card is late.
I agree with the person who suggested an Oxfam Unwrapped gift.

viclspence

When i turned 18 my aunts and uncles stopped by me presents and we just got a card, my children don't get presents off them either and I wouldn't expect them too. However, if I was that rude I would have got a harsh word from my parents and I would be made to apologise. Do her parents know what happened?

She is 20 years old, at 20 I was pregnant, in a stable relationship and had a full time, steady job, doesn't exactly sound like just out of teenagehood really!

I agree with the thank you notes, maybe a nice staionery set from poundland or The Works. Or just a card.