token christmas gift for ungrateful niece, any ideas??

nextyeartina

i'm looking for cheap gift ideas for an "ungrateful" niece for christmas.

quick story - phoned to arrange to drop niece's birthday card (& money!!) off. niece & family busy, not a problem. had a lot going on myself with work, home, etc. & card ended up in "paper" drawer. fast forward 2 weeks - text from niece (20 years old by the way!!) asking where her card was :eek:!! explained above to her & she goes all ar$y on me :mad:. hubby was fuming & took card straight round. he told her she was rude & out of order!! niece opened card, took money out & threw card on top without reading it!! no thank you, nothing :mad:.

every time i think about her, i get so annoyed. not heard from niece since by the way. i always give her money for christmas but, after that fiasco, never again. i've decided on a cheap token gift this year, not the money she'll be expecting. any ideas??

t, x

Rachel021967

She's not long out of being a teenager and maybe going through a phase. I would explain to her how hurt you were from her reaction and continue giving her money with a book on manners.

becs

I'd drop the money and just give the book on manners! 20 just out of teens and maybe a phase? Come on she's an adult and needs to learn now that she's behaved like a spoilt brat. Not sure what kind of parents she has but I would have been given a swift clip round the ear, told to give the money back with a letter of apology if I'd have behaved like that.

erdd2

Rachel021967 wrote: »

She's not long out of being a teenager and maybe going through a phase. I would explain to her how hurt you were from her reaction and continue giving her money with a book on manners.

I would not expect a 5 year old to be so rude and ungracious...bad manners are not excusable by age or circumstance, they are just that bad manners. The OH explained how hurt OP was...result ...no contact...more bad manners.

I would go along with the gift of a book on manners!

ERICS_MUM

That good old standby - a box of chocs. I don't think she desrves anything else, but be prepared to explain or "defend" yourself to her or her parents.

PS - what does the ungrateful madam buy you and your DH ? (I can guess).

Owain_Moneysaver

ERICS_MUM wrote: »

That good old standby - a box of chocs.

Face cream or other rather utilitarian cosmetic.

Preferably pound shop own-brand.

coolcait

So you forgot to give your niece her card, and when you got someone else to deliver it - because you were in the huff - he told your niece that she was rude and out of order.

She was. But neither you nor your hubby come out of the story terribly well either.

It's August. Your approach to dealing with the situation is to start looking for ideas on a token gift for Christmas...

If you want to be adult about it, then maybe you should apologise for forgetting to re-arrange a time to deliver her birthday card, but tell her how upset you were by her reaction. And the pair of you could use the next four months to try to re-build your relationship.

Or you could continue to gloss over the fact that you forgot about her card, continue to nurse your resentment, and cause further family ructions at Christmas by giving her a carefully planned and calculated 'token gift'.

caitlyn22

I'd buy her something from Oxfam Unwrapped or make a charity donation, preferably personal/relevant to her so it didn't seem spiteful.

emay

How many other neices/nephews do you have? we have a lot in our family and once we reached 16, the gifts stopped.

lexuslass

cheeky cow!! :eek:

is this niece from your side of the family or your OH's? Is she generally a spoilt little brat?

Our nieces and nephews are all under 17, but I know my aunts and uncles and my parents all stopped buying presents for nieces and nephews when they got to 18 (there was just so many of us!).

I personally think her attitude is disgraceful - you'd phoned her on the day - she wasn't 'available' but she knew she'd got a card from you!

Do her parents know she texted you asking where her card was? and then 'threw the card on the side'? If not, I would bloomin make them aware!! to not cause conflict, maybe in a jokey matter "has xxxx forgiven us for giving her her birthday card yet...we did try and bring it on the day but you were all busy.. I had honestly forgotten about it until she texted me asking where it was.. OH brought it straight round and she threw it on the side!"

I'm not surprised you are getting annoyed everytime you think of her!! :eek:

globetraveller

Well you don't sound as if you are close to her so isn't 20 a bit old to still be giving presents?
Let the dust settle before you make any decisions. Its only August.
Or why not knit her a cardigan?